i want a divorce with my husband. my husband and i been having ALOT of problems with finance .. respect..etc. but the thing is that i am afraid of is, i dont have a job, and i stay at home watching my 5 month old while he goes to work every day. Will i be able to keep my son if i go through with this divorce? My husband said that if it ever happens, he will fight against me to keep our son. i am so worried.. i dont want him to take him away from me.
p.s. would it help if i said that we live in colorado springs and ive only lived here for 3 months. hes also in the military.. so wouldnt just his job not allow him to keep my son? hes deploying this year. and was deployed less than a year ago. someone please help!!
2007-04-15 10:00:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well from his point of view you are trying to take his child away from him just as much as you think he is trying to keep the child away from you. Work something out because that child needs both parents.
2007-04-15 10:07:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing to worry about. There are several things in your favor already: 1) You are your child's primary caregiver. 2) Your husband has an "unstable" parenting role because he can be deployed or absent at any time and with very short notice. 3) You are stable and consistent in your role as a mother. 4) 99% of the time, courts will side with the mother in custody cases UNLESS there is proof of abuse. The fact that you don't have a job doesn't factor into anything here. Your JOB was being a homemaker and mother to an infant. Of course, be prepared that if it does turn into a nasty custody battle, you should have a plan in place to present to the court: I want to go back to _____ where my family is to have a bigger support system for raising my child and I can go back to work/school. You have nothing to worry about here. The statistics on how many military men have custody of their children is almost NONE!
2007-04-15 10:11:20 · answer #2 · answered by tooblessed2doubt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's difficult in most situations a child is ruled to be with their mother unless the father or otherwise can prove you to be an unfit mother. I think if you have other means of supporting your child there should be no reason why he could take him away from you. With him being in the military I doubt very seriously that he would be allowed to gain full custody as he wouldn't have the means to take care of the child and of course a baby doesn't need to be in the military around all that fighting and bombs.
A judge would have to decide what is best for your child but I think generally you have the upper-hand in this custody battle.
2007-04-15 10:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you don't have a job it emans you can't keep your son. For that to happen your husband has to prove your an unfit Mother but teh love you have for your son it won't happen. If you can try to see if you can get a part time job on the internet or work on the internet so you can make money too. But if you want a divorce make sure to tell your lawyer to file for child support, too. AND also if the state has a law for it use it and he will have to pay you spousal support, too. SO good luck and hope everything works for you.
2007-04-15 10:11:59 · answer #4 · answered by John S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to smack you against the wall with threats. He does have the right to see his son, but you're the full-time, primary parent and hopefully no judge in the world would see this happen, especially if he's threatening you! Go get yourself a lawyer (there are legal aide lawyers out there, but I don't live in Colorado Springs, so i can't tell you how), and start working on a custody order.
Dont let him threaten you. If there is no love in the marriage, now is the time to get out while your baby is still a baby. I doubt he can get custody with his job anyway.
2007-04-15 10:05:06 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not worry so much, being your husband is in the service you and your child are getting money right? from him being in the military you should be .
The child is 5 months old for starters so the courts will award the child to the mother.
Also he is in the service and ready for a deployment, How will he take care of this child if he is not there?
the mother is almost always awarded custody, unless you are a drug user or an alcoholic and abuse the child...I doubt these are in your case.
Stop worrying and start the process when you are ready.
his is a scare tactic and it won't work.
good luck in yours and your childs future.
2007-04-15 10:16:11 · answer #6 · answered by transvainia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in most cases the mother always gets the child unless the father can prove she is an unfit mother ex: drugs, not being able to take care of him...etc..
but since u are a stay at home mother, whom has taken care of him his 5 monthes...unless there is something u havent written...u will most likely get custody of him with the father getting visitation..
do u have parents? someone u trust to leave the baby with so u can at least work part time? u need to get something so when u all do get a divorce u can at least be self reliant.. i know in alot of cases you can get child support and alimony, but u really need to get u a good lawyer...even if u cant afford one..call around with legal aid...
good luck...
2007-04-15 10:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Sunshine. The reasons you gave "problems with finance..respect" are very common problems among married couples. Regardless, you vowed at your wedding to work through these things.
Now that you have a 5month old, you two need to stop thinking about what YOU want and think about the best interests of the child. Unless there's serious physical/emotional abuse, the child deserves to grow up in a household with two parents who love it.
2007-04-15 10:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typical threats. My ex did them too. I did not have a job and my son was 6 months old when we split. I was told he was going to take my son and I would not get to see him. Scare tactics. Talk to a lawyer. I have custody and receive child support. Unless you are unfit, (hooked on drugs, abusive, etc.), you will keep your baby. Try to find something you can both work with in regards to visitation. Unless your husband is "unfit" as well, he needs to have a relationship with his child.
2007-04-15 10:18:36 · answer #9 · answered by Karen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have been convicted or have charges pending of child abuse, drug/mental abuse that would classify you as an unfit mother you have nothing to worry about. He can threaten all he wants but unless he has concrete evidence such as police or medical reports, he doesnt have a foot to stand on. You will be awarded custody with child support too, and he will get state mandated child visitation rights. You have nothing here to worry about at all. Sorry to hear about your marriage and good luck
2007-04-15 10:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋