please help my husband cheated or did he?

Question

Me and my long time fiance just got married march 24. We went to the bahamas on the carnival crusie for our honeymoon I was so excited the night before I couldn't sleep so the first night on the crusie I waz so tired I went to bed early he said he wanted to see a comedy act so i said go ahead and have fun around 4 am I noticed he still was not back I went looking for him I found him on the top deck of the boat holding hands and smiling with another girl he said nothing happened he was just so drunk he did not relize what he was doing he said the show got cancelled so he went to one of the clubs to have a couple of drinks and she was with her boyfreind but i think it is bull why would her boyfriend let her go with him ? And i can't stop thinking about what he did and what there were about to do he said she was just taking him to his room and he was just being friendly ? I can't stop thinking about it but he has been being real nice to me but i am scared he might do it again.

my husband went online and wanted to see what people thought from his point of view he thinks he did nothing wrong he said it was not cheating just to much to drink and being nice.so he did a Q&A page

Answer 1

I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM-
WHY DIDN'T HE GO TO BED WITH YOU THAT NIGHT AT THE SAME TIME? THEN YOU BOTH COULD HAVE GOTTEN UP EARLY AND DONE SOMETHING GOOD TOGETHER-- NO HE HAS TO GO OUT ALONE - THEN YOU BOTH END UP WASTING THE NEXT 3 DAYS FIGHTING AND FUSSING ABOUT IT- MARRIAGE IS ABOUT 2 PEOPLE TOGETHER- NOT ONE DOING WHAT HE WANTS AND THE OTHER STAYING HOME - IF YOU GO HE SHOULD GO- IF HE DON'T GO - YOU SHOULD NOT GO - SIMPLE AS THAT - BUT COULD A SHOULD A WOULD A DOESN'T HELP NOW- I GUESS YOU CANT CALL IT CHEATING BECAUSE HE WAS NOT NAKED WITH THE GIRL OR KISSING HER - BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN IF YOU WOULD NOT HAVE CAME OUT TO FIND HIM- BUT IT OBVIOUSLY WAS NOT MEANT FOR HIM TO BE WITH HER BECAUSE YOU DID FIND HIM - SO I WOULD NOT SWEAT IT - AND PLEASE DONT THROW THIS BACK UP IN HIS FACE EVERY TIME HE TURNS AROUND. IF YOU DO THIS YOU'LL ONLY DRIVE HIM FURTHER AWAY FROM YOU - I PROMISE - THE LESS A WOMAN BITC__ES THE MORE HER HUSBAND LOVES HER - AND THE CHANCE OF HIM CHEATING ON YOU -IS SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCED . I KNOW WE ALL HAVE TO FUSS SOMETIMES- BUT MEN CANT STAND IT - IT MAKES THEM WANT TO FIND ANOTHER WHO WONT FUSS - BUT WHAT THEY DONT KNOW IS --- THEY NEVER WILL !!HA HA !!

Answer 2

Being drunk is no excuse and only drunks use it as one. He knew good and well that he wasn't holding your hand. When he found out that the show was cancelled he should have came back to you and not go to the club. Sweetie you are going to have to watch him closely. If he has cheated on you in the past, he will do it again. That ring isn't going to stop him. Holding hands with another girl on your honeymoon is not a good sign. It is possible to be friendly without holding a person's hand. He's being real nice because he knows his @ss is grass. He got caught and his story is crap like you said. It makes no sense. Talk to him again and tell him how you feel... seek counseling....drop it.... get an annulment... There are many ways to handle it. It's not going to be a good marriage if you can't trust him.

Answer 3

If I were you I would have thrown him over board and fed him to the sharks. How disrespectfull that he drank so much that he didn't even realize that he was holding another womans hand. If the show was cancelled he could have went back to your room and let you know where you could find him. This was your honey moon. Was he not even anxious to come back to the room to make love to his new wife? Did he drink to much because he was angry that you were so tired and didn't feel up to hanging out on the cruise with him? He could have been and just held his anger in not saying anything so he just covered up by getting drunk? Tell him you would appreciate him limiting his drinks if he can't contain himself from holding a strange womans hand....or allowing her to take hold of his! Communicate and let him know now what is acceptable and not acceptable to you in this marriage. I am sure if the situation was reversed he would have decked the guy!Especially if you were drunk. He would not have been happy with how it would have looked to him. Just be observant now and watch him. It could have been something innocent, but you don't know what her intentions were.

Answer 4

So why could it's primary to end up infidelity simply to get divorced? If he presents fiscal safeguard now, then a pass judgement on could assume him to furnish that once divorce. My feeling is he does not have a task and neither do you. He leaves for weeks and does not even name dwelling to investigate at the youngsters? Great Dad you selected in your kids. Call it quits and attention on your self and your kids. File for divorce so you'll be able to get an order for youngster aid for the youngsters and you'll be able to begin getting your lifestyles again on monitor. Who cares if he is a cheater. He's definitely now not a well husband or a well father. Don't waste any further time.

Answer 5

Not a very good way to start a marriage. Boy, what a mess. Having too much to drink is never an excuse. Why wasn't he content to just cuddle up with you while you slept??? But too late to rectify that! I don't think I believe him and I would definately keep my guard up. Of course he is being nice---he is in the 'dog house'. Watch him. I don't think he can be trusted. I mean, the honeymoon hadn't even started,much less been over. What was he thinking? Oh I know, he thought you'd never know and what you don't know won't hurt you. Keep your eyes and ears peeled and don't hesitate to leave if your suspitions are right. He won't be worth the effort it would take to stay.
Good luck

Answer 6

Being drunk is NOT AN EXCUSE!!! It sounds like he messed up, and I would not have to even ask another question I would have left him already! On your honeymoon? That is disgusting!! The two of you should have been spending time together..And if the show got cancelled he should have came back to the room with something to drink instead of hanging out with a bunch of other people!

Answer 7

I am sorry to know about your husband.. have you told him how painful it is and you afraid that you can't trust him . Just let him know that u don't like a bulshit marriage . If it is needed for both of you to come to the point of fight do it , clear it up to him but if he is very nice to you all this time maybe he is guilty.

I remember my experience once i let my hubby go home in my country and found paastime through text messages and he told me he stop ssending message and one day found it . Told you that is the worst day of his life.That is the first time i break the gift i 've given him , i reall y don't want to be part of messy marriage . But he stop and may be realize he's mistake and i don't wanna loose him , i've been like u always worried , don't trust but it works , never change my attitude but when we fight i bring up the topic which i not really good.
and i stop it too.
well , u need to talk together and solve the problem , onthing goood also about that , you knew it eally soon and u still have time to decide before having a bay from him , never let him hurt u or insult u .for having another women . Never allow him , u don't deserve to be sad at all. God Bless us all!

Answer 8

This happened on the first night of the honeymoon???? I think you need to confront him about this. He has already planted the seed of doubt and you've only been married a little under a month? You already can't trust him...and you both vowed to forsake all others only days (or even hours) from the "incident". It would seem to me that you both are going to have some MAJOR trust issues if you don't get this out in the open and resolved because this is going to eat you away slowly from the inside out if you don't.

Every time he's late, or doesn't call, or says he has a business trip, or has to go in to work early...you're going to suspect that something is going on and you have every right to. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't found him when you did on that cruise. There is NO excuse for his behavior, especially on your HONEYMOON!!! Girl, you need to nip this in the bud like NOW and tell him that under no certain terms will you tolerate ANY more behavior that he engaged in on your cruise and that you WILL leave.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Considering you were engaged to this man for awhile...you should know him.Everyone of us have our weak spots...i mean good Lord is it his drinking ? I personally wouldn't have wondered off if my fiance was tired ,but im only a woman!.You can only use your best judgement, In all actuality most men appreciate a beautiful woman and flirt to some degree.Its not all good and I dont like it either, but its true.You cannot keep raggin him about it and push him away.Chances are nothing happened that night, though a woman should always keep in touch with her intuition and always be alert and have a sense of keeness that will alow her mind to make descions her heart cannot! Let it go ,love your husband ,do everything a wife should do and more..just be sure to let him know you wouldn't dare hesitate to split his wig if he ever messes with your emotions!And while you are being that great wife, learn how to use your long eye..and watch him.Keep your notes to yourself ,but take in everything!He is To be looked upon!!

Answer 10

ask yourself what he would have done if the rolls were flipped...... it sounds to me like he was fixing to do something really bad. being drunk is no excuse. he knows what he was doing... he was just too drunk to care. maybe you should go to some sort of marriage counceling for a while. just to make you feel better. this is going to eat at you for a while untill you know for certain what was going on. and it doesnt matter what everyone on here says. in the end you will be your own judge. you are a woman after all lol! dont let anyone run over you. put your foot down!