i feel like killing my friend for whatr he did to my gf, am i wrong to feel like that?

Question

my gf was rapped by a friend at the time and i just found out about it, i feel so bad for her she isnt doing anything bc of me and my ex friend i told her i wanted her to press charges and she wouldnt and whats worse is he was over all the time with us and i didnt know i was going to ask her to marry me but i dont know if i should know i couldnt even protect her from a friend. how can i help her i love her so much?

Answer 1

It's not your fault. If you want to marry her then do so, but be more cautious of so called friends.

Answer 2

I have been thinking about this question a long time. I do not think now is the time to ask her hand in marriage. Wait awhile. She will need time to work out a lot of emotional feelings that she has and is not thinking clearly now.
You should both be the best that you can be when entering into marriage and right now you both need to work on dealing with what happened. Depending on the severity, it could take a long time. Rape never goes away.........and it effects the whole family. Together, you can build a stronger relationship while taking the time to heal.
Read up on it, go to counselors, but go at her pace. You need to be prepared and understand what a rape victim goes through. There are also support groups for family members who have a loved one who was raped; That would be a great start for you.

Answer 3

U should incurrage her to get help, talk to someone....As a victum of rape myself, u can't force her to file charges. If u love her and wanted to marry her before this happened ask ur self do I still feel the same way? Talk to her... U shouldn't hold back asking her to marry u if that is really what u want....But without some help she wont move past the rape completely....U also have to realize that if u are a couple this will affect u both not just her, but yes it affects her more and worse... call a rape hotline, even u can do that and they might beable to tell u what more to do for ur girl.... I am so sorry that this thing happened to her and u....If u love her all u can do is be there, and sometimes just listening helps...

Answer 4

If she didn't do anything because she did not want to affect your friendship with this other person, make it clear to her that anyone who commits such a cowardly act is no friend of yours, and reaffirm your support by asking her again to lodge a complaint and have this creep arrested and charged. There could be more to this than she is ready to admit. She may not be ready to face this yet, or have denial issues. She could be afraid that if it goes to court, she'll get torn to shreds by a defense attorney, and her credibility would be destroyed, if this bozo walks away from it.There seems to be unanswered questions.
Marriage it would seem is an issue, not because you feel that you cannot protect her from harm. It's more because of her failure to tell you of the attack right away. She witheld that information from you obviously. Keeping secrets is not a good way to cement a relationship. Does she have trust issues with you, or feels that that she can't rely on you? The two of you need to have a long talk, and sort things out. I don't think either of you are on the same page.

Answer 5

Wow..I'm really sorry to hear that. unfortunately, rape victims must come forward to file a police report to kinda get the ball rolling. And if you guys hung out all the time the police might suspect that it was consentual because they were cool with each other. Your friend is a creep and should be locked under the jail but the only thing you can do right now is just support her and maybe encourage her to at least get rape counseling. I don't think you should abandon her but definitely give the proposal a little more time. What your loser friend did is not your fault, it's his. But if I were you, I would definitely find a way to get back at him somehow. Good Luck

Answer 6

It takes two to tango. Was she really raped and how did she responded. How soon did she tell you. It might be that she allowed the act at first and got fed-up later. It is difficult to draw the line here. Killing your friend will cost your life, is that what you want; being in prison for life bc of a girlfriend you don't know how long you will be with. Brother, it is no no no, you will still meet other girls and appreciates life if it does not work with the current one. Get to speak to a counselor/psychologist today.

I know you will overcome...Be man enough to handle the case..Okay!!

Answer 7

This was totally out of your control, there was no way for you to protect her at the time, so stop beating yourself up! What you should be focusing on now is asking her to marry you and protecting and loving her today and for the rest of your lives, together. Maybe you both can go to counseling to help you get over this horrific thing that has happened. For your future and hers and yours together I would stay as far away from this jerk as you can, don't jeopardize your life and future; he is scum and in time will pay for what he has done! Many rape victims don't turn in their abusers because they feel they did something wrong, they are humiliated. She needs to be able to do this on her own with you by her side, it has to be her decision. I truly pray for the both of you that with your love for each other you can over come this! It isn't either one of your faults, please know this!

Answer 8

oh wow tough situation your girlfriend will probably need some medical help because getting rape is a tough situation especially coming from a friend of her boyfriend. I advise you to help her out be my her side as much as possible and show her that no matter what happen you still care about her and love her and once she passes this trauma then ask her to marry you. And most important don't blame yourself for what happen in these cases there is no one to blame except the person who committed the crime which in this case was this person you thought was your friend. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Aaawwwww..... there's no point in feeling guilty for not being able to protect her - how were you supposed to know? You obviously love her soooooooo much, and I dont think you have to prove it to her. There isnt much you can do to help her except give her room to get over it. Don't push her to press charges. I think that, once you are sure she's okay, you should go ahead and propose. Then she can move on.

P.S. I hope you didn't kill your "friend" coz, while he deserved it, you would still end up in jail!!!!


Good luck to both of you!!!

xxx

Answer 10

I am sorry to here what happened to you girl. But you should do all that you can do in order to first protect yourself. By this I mean no dis respect. But have you considered that this "rape" may be a set up? I mean they could have both agreed to have sex and keep it from you. Now she feels guilty and ashamed because he is still coming around. She doesn't want to tell the police because she wants you to man up and deal with this friend. I just would look aliitle deeper.

Answer 11

aw sounds like you really have something on your hands*- i would just go with her opinion, if she doesnt want to do anything about it, then i wouldnt bug her about it. some girls will never ever get over what happend, but some try to, and just leave it alone. and i think thats what she is trying to do. but one thing you can do, is let her know how much you love her and that you are always gonna be there for her*- that is the only thing you can do right now, and she will appreciate it.
good luck, and i would go for it! ask her to marry you.
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