Pregnancy relationship question?

Question

I am 7 months pregnant with a man I have been with for two years. He is 33 and says he never wants to get married and loves me but "is not in love with me." He says at some point after the baby is born, I will need to move out and on with my life, but he will always be there for us, be in our lives and love us. Has anyone else been through something similar, what was the outcome, and is there any chance that once our baby comes that he will have a different outlook on things? He just says he loves his freedom too much to ever get married- could the baby change this? Thanks for your oppinions and experiences. I'm just in a difficult place right now and could use the advice.

Answer 1

I would drop him now,...why live with him for a while and risk falling in love with him more only to have him leave. I wouldn't give him the time of day. (But I would let him see his child)

Answer 2

I am suprised at the many negative and judgemental comments left for individuals asking questions. It is sad to see that we can not have compassion for others in pain.
I hear that you are in pain. Unfortuanly he is not going to change just becuase of the baby. I agree with some previous posts that you should leave now. I also question the wisdom of placing his name on the birth certificate. But that is your choice. If you think he will be a good father then allow him to see your child. If not however he has made the choice not to make a commitment. You need to find out if this lack of commitment is going to extent to the child as well. Good luck to you. You are a valuable person do not sell yourself short.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear you're 7months pregnant and your babys father whom you've been with for 2 yrs, ...NOW tells you that he likes his freedom too much.
Unfortunately you have to respect what he's asking of you ,and start preparing to leave..I would leave before the baby is born rather than afterwards., if you can. He will be responsible for this child whether you're with him or not. I doubt he will change his mind once the child comes...it will be a 'thrill' for him at first, but once that child is up crying for a feed etc.......he will go back to his old'single'ways of living the life with no responsibilties. He needs to grow up and you need to move out and move one with your life*~ Best Wishes*

Answer 4

Oh goodness, that's just awful. I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough situation. Bless your heart..

It sounds like he is all for telling you what you want to hear, to keep you around.. but when it comes to an actual commitment and a family, he wants out, and fast.

Mind you, I could be totally wrong.. but as for him saying he'll always be there for you and your baby, that just sounds like a load of bull to me. Like I said, i could be wrong.. but it really sounds like he wants you to "think" he will be there, so you'll leave without making a big fuss.

I'm curious.. have you always been aware of his intentions (or rather, lack of) when it comes to your relationship?? He obviously enjoys the physical benefits that go along with the whole live-in girlfriend.. but really could care less about the rest of it. So, I can't help but wonder why on earth you were willing to settle for something like that?? He told you he loved you, but said he wasn't "in love with you" which is often just code for you're good enough for him to sleep with.. but he doesn't want you around for much else. That's not fair to you, and you and your baby deserve so much better than that.

If he wants his freedom, let him have it! You deserve someone who will actually be there for you, and want to share a life with you. This guy obviously isn't ready for a serious relationship.. even after all that time. It's awful, and it's heartbreaking.. I know.

I've had my own share of relationships with guys who told me they loved me, but when it came down to commitment time.. they needed their "freedom" and would say that they weren't ready for something like that.. It's not right, and I think it is very misleading. I soon realized that I deserved better, and I found better (when I met my husband) and you will too.

I wish you the best. Take care!

Answer 5

Come on. You couldn't possibly have not understood what he said. You are pregnant with his child. He has no plans to marry you. He told you he wants to to move after the baby is born. He told you he wasn't "in love" with you. Must he hit you with a baseball bat to get through??? Besides wishful thinking, what gives you ANY idea or hope he's suddenly going to want to marry you? While I can't much respect a guy telling his pregnant live-in that she's gotta go, he has been honest and upfront. Exactly what don't you understand?

Answer 6

I'm sorry to break it to you, but most people who feel this way don't change their minds. My sister-in-law-was in a relationship like this for almost 3 years, and it constantly hurt her. She finally got the courage to break it off, and it took some time but she's doing much better now.

I understand how much more difficult this is for you, since you are having a child with him. But it sounds like he's willing to be there both for you and your baby, which is wonderful. But if he doesn't want to get married, and he's adamant about this, I doubt the baby is going to change his mind. The best thing for you to do would probably be to break it off, so that eventually you can find someone who loves you enough to be willing to spend the rest of his life with you. Because, ultimately, that's what you deserve--someone who loves you as much as you love them.

Good luck hon and the best to both you and your baby.

Answer 7

the baby being born isn't going to fix things, if you've been together for two years and he still doesn't want to get married i don't see that changing. you need to prepare yourself for single motherhood and start getting ready for that. but i would make it clear to him that if he wants to be part of the baby's life it will be a full time parent role, which means he is available whenever the baby needs him. but for your sake it's time to accept that marriage is out of the cards are be prepared to move on.

Answer 8

I consider "ratatouillewoo" above. My husband is 28 years previous and nonetheless acts like a baby. He performs video games, jokes around continuously, he's extremely immature. yet he's likewise an excellent father. first of all, permit me say which you look very mature on your age, and that i think of you will make an excellent mom. yet submit to in suggestions, your boyfriend is extremely youthful. transforming into a make certain at 17 years previous would be perplexing for all people, incredibly a teenage boy. he's performing like a baby by fact he's a baby. whilst you're arguing 24/7 by fact which you could no longer shelter his immaturity, then perchance attempt to settle for him for a fashion he's. as quickly as the toddler arrives, he will probable mature some, a minimum of in the parenting branch. yet once you 2 are scuffling with for different reasons, then perchance you in simple terms are not properly suited. some human beings in simple terms won't have the ability to get alongside, it is not suitable how previous they are. So i think of you need to make your suggestions up what the basis of your difficulty is. If that's something you could take care of, then attempt to artwork it out. it could additionally be your hormones getting the superb of you. If there are bigger themes inflicting the consistent scuffling with, then perchance you need to circulate on. each and every so often 2 human beings could be greater helpful parents by being aside, as oppose to staying mutually and scuffling with continuously. Like I stated, all men are infantile. so as that should no longer be the only reason you call it quits. i does no longer exchange a element approximately my infantile husband. He makes me snigger, and he could be mature whilst i want him to be. attempt to stay advantageous and supply your boyfriend it sluggish. anybody is going by tough patches, and having somewhat one can be stressful in itself. in simple terms wait and see, your boyfriend in simple terms could ask your self you. solid luck & Congrats~

Answer 9

Why did you allow yourself to be in this situation? am sure he made you aware of his intentions from the getgo

-------a baby will not change the way he feels about you----

Answer 10

get out now!