Is it possible to be a victim of Heartbreak or does a person really break their own heart ?

Question

Is it possible to be a victim of Heartbreak or does a person really break their own heart by not paying attention to Reality?

Is Heartbreak really a victimless social crime? Is it, in fact, Emotional Suicide? Or are there people who, through absolutely no fault of their own (they being nearly perfect), find themselves in situations which allows their heart (emotional well being) to be trampled upon to the point of pain?

Is an adult responsible for their own lack of awareness or ignorance?

Answer 1

WOW! What a question!

Yes, as an adult, you are responsible for your own choices. However when it comes to relationships, choices do not affect just the individual but those connected to them as well. When it comes to a break in a relationship the responsibility lies not just with one person, but with the choices both have made.

Let’s take a look at two possible extreme scenarios. On one extreme is the individual who always “ends up with the wrong person”. Often they fall prey to a self serving player and even to criminal con artists. On the other extreme is the very healthy emotional mature, sophisticated individual who takes all precautions in researching and checking out. This individual avoids the players and the con artists. He/She comes to trust and love the other through time together. Has time goes by her/his lover feels the relationship is not working for him/her. He/she openly discusses her/his feelings on how things are not working out and calls off the relationship.

The first individual is not responsible for life experiences that shaped him/her during their childhood, but as an adult he/she is responsible for recognizing they are making poor choices and to get help in resolving the issue(s) that are leading them to choose harmful people. However, I believe a certain amount of responsibility lies with the player and con artist as well. They cannot excuse their behavior claiming the other person did not have to believe them, as they purposely chose someone vulnerable and purposely chose to deceive.

In the second scenario, who is responsible? Both handled the relationship in a responsible, mature way.

A relationship involves love and trust. With love and trust comes the risk of Heartbreak and pain. You can control your own choices, but not the choices of others.

Heartbreak is an emotion; a feeling. You have little if any control on what you feel. You can choose to be aware of them, recognize them, and accept them. You can choose how you respond to them. Feelings are neither good nor bad, they just are. It is what you choose to do with and about them that is significant.

Not sure if I made my thoughts on this as clear as mud, made “much ado about nothing”, or offered some food for thought, but that is my 2 cents ;)

Answer 2

I would have to say some times it is, most of the time it's not.

I think that heartbreak is another word for sever disappointment.

It's a simple case of ones' expectations being violated. It is then called heartbreak when it is involving the most important thing of all Love, Trust.

It's not really hard at all to break someones hart. If your mom kicked you out of the house when you were 8, you would be heartbroken. You would have no clue what to do.

Same as if you planned your whole life out with someone and you really thought it would work and that person bailed on you. I guess what your saying is, if your always prepared and have a plan B lined up you won't have a problem.

True but what if plan A is a whole heaping crap load better then B. At some point you have to trust the other person. It feels really good when you can do that, and it hurts really bad if or when it all goes down the crapper.

Answer 3

All the situations that you have described here are possible.

A person may be victimized by others into a most depressing situation.

But, most of the times, a person is oneself responsible for engineering the climate/weather and seasons around himself/herself.

On the other hand, as stated by you, there are some singularly perfect people, who for no fault of their own, land up in situations (not of their own making) where they find their "emotional well-being," trampled upon, leading to great pain and poignancy.

A heartbreak may NOT be a crime at all, social or otherwise, But it can never be victimless, because the person who suffers the heartbreak, is the sufferer/victim, whether, because of the fault of one's own self, or because of the fault of others.

Answer 4

You can't help who your heart loves no matter what your head tells you.
It as a physical pain as well as an emotional pain.
I know if a person I love dies.. I know I will fall apart if my feelings do not change before that time.
I know I am to blame..or at least my own heart is the cause.
But there is no way to turn off the feelings..other than go from extreme love or extreme hate.
I think perhaps it can be an emotional suicide..but I choose at this point and time to just ignore it the best I can.

Answer 5

When I was in love, felt like on some amazing drugs...happy, strong, beautiful, could do anything, and then when found out about betrayal, suddenly couldn't move out of my bed, felt like someone sucked the life out of me, and there was nothing I could do to make me feel better, just had no energy or any motivation to live, as if some dark forces took over me. I felt like I needed to be hospitalised, and wish there were hospitals for broken heart, other than just mental hospitals. I quess didn't pay attention to reality in both cases, but before the same thing has happened to me, and it didn't affect me too much. It was a huge suprise to see how my body and mind were reacting, when worse things did happen to me, but have never felt like this before.

Answer 6

As per I know, There is no Rule for this we have. But ofocurse on social values, it is a crime.

If you ask me" does a person really break their own heart ?"
Then i will say yes.We are so weak with our emotion that we can;t control and we left our selves on misery.What i mean to say that Everyone shd know that they are boss of theriselves.and the life you are leading is your own Compnay.Now any decision whcih not in your fav and made by...will difinately affect your future(Company).

I ask a question?r u so weak that a girl or boy can defeat you eaisly.?There are alot of thing to do. there are alot of things to get busy in.They are alot of tension to take.They are lot of hapeenging around you.Getting depressed will make you miss all these thing.
No one can console ? No one can council you?You are your own?you can only help your self.No one is there to help them who are so weak from heart.

Answer 7

It is my opinion that whatever we feel, we are responsible for. We have the freedom to choose, thus we can also choose our thoughts which are the ancestor to our feelings. The human part of us has difficulty practicing this so we do not catch on immediately when our feelings have become painful. Once we dwell on these thoughts that have caused us pain it is not always a quick fix to just change our thinking to something pleasant or peaceful. Practice makes closer to perfect in most things, maybe even in thought control. I feel it is very important to try not to ever justify negative feelings for obvious reasons but to cultivate an "observer" within ourselves to monitor our feelings and our thinking. (nip negativity in the bud...so to speak)
When it comes to love of another, we tend to give power to that individual to be able to "push our buttons". Try to be careful about doing this....it could lead to that feeling of Heartbreak.
My formula for peace (which is a goal that I think most of us are shooting for), is to be a loving individual without any motive in doing so other than it just feels right. And to realize that it is more important to be kind than to be right .

Answer 8

Lets say Person A has just come out of a relationship but leaps into a relationship with Person B on the rebound. And, Person B, having no idea that Person A will not fall in love with him, falls in love with Person A, then surely it is not Person B's fault. That doesn't mean Person B is perfect, it just means he wasn't aware of the preceding situation. And yes, it is Person A's fault.

Answer 9

Yes,
When that moment of realization that you have been betrayed really badly, and that you had put your WHOLE LIFE into that person, and spent all of your lifetime with them, putting all your emotional, psychic, physical, energies into that person...and they betray you...that is an ELECTRIC SHOCK THAT GOES ALL OVER THE BODY...It effects specific parts of the body..health wise..
Scientific studies have shown that an EXACT CHEMICAL CHANGE HAPPENS at a moment of shock...and it KILLS VITAMIN B-1 in the body, puts off ELECTRICAL AND RADIOACTIVE IMPULSES that damage the cells, lowering the immune system. When the immune system is lowered by killing Vitamin B1, the cell membrane is weaker, then viruses and parasites can attack through the cell membrane. or if the dormant virus is inside of the cell, it then can come out and attack.
Now you understand WHY many people become ill after such an experience...
A high rate of women keep their grief in the breast tissue...and a high rate of those...come down with breast cancer within 2 years after being betrayed.......

Oh yes, Cancer, Diabetes, Alzheimer's etc. all are viruses.
Research has shown that a defeciancy in B12 and Phytonutrients and Omega 3's
Put them back in high dosages and within 3 weeks these illnesses start changing..........your body can fight off these attackers..
Interesting why I saw an article last fall saying Phytonutrients don't do any good ...AND SHOULD BE TAKEN FROM THE MARKET........
Phytonutrients are in everything...vegetables, fruits, etc...how do you take them off...someone is wanting us to NOT KNOW so we will not fight those DORMANT VIRUSES piggybacked in the polio vaccines...to come out later...so there is money...to be made... HUMMMM???
I have seen Cancer, Diabetes, Alzheimer's, Loose Ligament Syndrome, Weak Muscles, Weak Eyes (eyes work as a muscle) , Hiatal Hernia (weak muscle at top of stomach), Mitral Valve Prolapse (weak muscle in Valve) Memory loss, and so many more....will start changing WHEN HIGH DOSAGES OF B12, PHYTONUTRIENTS, OMEGA 3'S are added........in a short time.....on a high rate of people...and sometimes in certain people...it takes 4 MONTHS ...before there is any sign ...then all of a sudden there are major changes...every person differs....

Answer 10

errr are you saying do people's hearts get broken or do tehy break them?

Well lets see .. my heart was broken when I found out that my dad, who I adored and practically worshiped for 16 years, was abusing my mum and sister to the point that my sister tried to kill herself. When mum served up the divorce papers (after a long time of abuse mind you) dear old dad decided to pop a few pills and take the easy route out, but unfortunetly for us survived. of course they're divorced now ...

my point? my heart was broken. I loved my dad more than anything in the UNIVERSE. at times, more than God (me being a christian) and to be betrayed and find out that he'd rather die than be with me made me feel pretty crappy and i think thats about when my heart broke.

so i'm not sure weather thats helped ... but i was bored and its only 3.51am in the morning so philosiphy isnt my strong point this early.

anyway good luck