We have been separated one year. She left because she didn't love me the why she should love me anymore her words. I went threw a rough time but things are totally different now, I'm actually happy and being myself again. Here is where I'm stuck, she always said I was a great guy and a wonderful father, we share the kids 1 week each. There are days she is so rough to get along with when we do have to communicate and others where she is wonderful. Just this week she even came for dinner with me and the kids after we went out shopping together. We have both been with other people and even though that did bother me it doesn't anymore. I'm a touch confused as to why she is out of the blue being nice and coming to dinner stuff she said she just didn't want to do anymore with me.
I do care for her very much and was wondering what this change of attitude could be? Anyone and any ideas?
2007-04-15 05:38:07 · 9 answers · asked by sfers2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Perhaps she's simply gotten a taste of what's out there, and she actually likes you. OR pehaps she doesnt know what she wants. I would bet you a king's ransome that if you were interested in someone, she would be falling at your feet. Someone else's candy always looks better.
However, my final conclusion is that it seems she likes the
no-strings/responsibilities relationship that you seem to have at the moment.
I guess you can forfeit the guessing game, and ask her where her head's at right now. Because you would really like to get on with your life.
2007-04-15 05:49:58 · answer #1 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have both matured since you have been separated. You are happy where you are and she is happy where she is. That is the reason for her change of attitude. Don't take her being nice, friendly, whatever, and coming to dinner as a sign she wants you back. Since the pressure or "burden" of you two being together has gone away, she feels a sense of relief. Just accept her as a loving mother and a woman who once loved you. You both have that in common. Treasure the moments you do have together, but move on. Once you fall out of love with somebody, you can't ever go back.
Good luck to both of you!!
2007-04-15 05:55:19 · answer #2 · answered by rondiebabe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's complicated. You are the father of her children so it is advantageous to be nice to you. Maybe also since you are not together anymore, she can deal with you better than when you were in a relationship. People in relationships are totally different than when they aren't together. I married my best friend of 11 years and he is a totally different person than I knew him to be. We could see no wrong in each other when we were best friends.
It also sounds like you've backed off from longing for her or seeming unhappy without her. Sometimes people get used to being pined for or longed for. If you've stepped back and let her have her space she might be responding to feeling used to you wanting to spend time with her. Also, now that you appear to be happy being yourself again, she might find this new you attractive. From experience, this feeling fades and once you're into her again, she'll probably start back with the cold shoulder. Don't want to crush any hopes for you though.
2007-04-15 05:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by naturallymeee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All over the world tonight relationships are ending and hearts are breaking. It starts with "I love you but I think we need a break." Then the other person goes into panic mode and texts and begs and pleads like they cant live without this person. It gives the other person a feeling of power over their desperate lover. First, cease to text or call. Let him come to you. I know its hard and you may have to sit on your hands or tie them to a tree but no matter what do not make contact. He asked you not to, now show him you love him enough to honor that. He knows you, he knows you love him and want him back, no matter how many times you tell him or text him, he still knows it. And if you dont text or call he still knows it. He may have met someone and he is trying to decide what he wants. He may have flirted a bit and is flirting with the idea of being single and free. Regardless nothing you say or do will change the way he feels. He chose to leave and he chose not to come back. What he needs to see is that you are a strong woman. Show him that you are not a door mat to be walked on. Get busy on you. Join the Y and take some dance classes or join a gym and work out, its refreshing and healing of a broken heart. Take a college class to further your job skills. Do things to make you strong and better. In the meantime if its meant to be it will happen, if not there will be something even better in your future. You have to believe in YOU. And you cannot make someone love you or make them stay with you. I know this is very hard and a challenging time for you. Your world feels like it is falling apart and all the plans for the future you had seem on shaky ground. But you are strong. And you will survive this and anything life dishes out. Choose to be happy and find a way to be happy. I wish you peace.
2016-05-20 22:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's being nice because the situation is different but I don't believe the two of you will get back together. With that in mind and now that the 2 of you are on relatively good terms you probably need to talk about divorce so that you both can get on with your lives. It will be easier to discuss when you aren't arguing but things need to be talked about like child support etc.....
2007-04-15 06:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by miester44 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea she is being nice because she goes home afterwards.Just leave it at friendship and do not expect more.You are setting yourself up for the big hurt if you expect more.
2007-04-15 08:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by junior1108 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she realized that the green really isn't green on the other side of the fence and that she screwed up royally.
2007-04-15 05:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Moody, she don't know what she wants.I am Leary of those type because they can hurt others. Please be careful stay independent of her dont let her do that again.(I mean love then leave you)
2007-04-15 08:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by -bls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is getting you softened up to ask for more money....
2007-04-15 06:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by Al Bundy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋