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I have been married for 4 years and we have a 6 year old together and one on the way. We met 9 years ago and we're best freinds for a year and a half. I knew how he acted with girls. He was really shy. I don't remember him ever dating anyone. All his freinds are cheaters but he just doesnt have that dimeanor. I really trust him in that department anyways and i never suspect it at all. Mainly because i think he may be embarrased to sleep with someone else anyways because he has some major sexual issues. Every time i say that to people, guys or girls, they always say that all guys are cheaters and i am just naive. Some one please agree with me.

2007-04-15 04:01:54 · 12 answers · asked by Cutie 3 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

12 answers

1st of all guys don't always cheat... I'm one of those guys that never have and never will.. People don't believe you because they themselves probably have that tendency.. I wouldn't worry whether or not they believe you, you know the truth inside your heart... Don't bother trying to defend your husband because you are only defending him to closed minded people that think just because they do the whole world does..

2007-04-15 04:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

People are funny. Normally we tend to believe that everyone is like us. So, if a person drinks alcohol they believe everyone drinks. If a person cheats, they believe everyone else does too. This is seen prominent in our schools. The Teens that drink, smoke and are sexually active will actually make fun of those who do not do these things. Why? Because they feel you not cool, or part of the mainstream.
I not proud of a lot of things I have done, but, never expected for others to do the same as me. I have always been a one woman man, though I have known a lot of women (That's a long story). I hope and feel that what you believe is true. I have looked back over my past many times and wondered what it would have been like for me to have met a girl in school, married and the both of us never know another sex partner. Have one of those marriages where we see 50, 60 maybe 70 years together. Then like some old people I have known, to have a love so deep that when one dies, the other soon follows from a broken heart.

2007-04-15 11:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by Snaglefritz 7 · 0 0

not all guys r cheaters nor r all girls. most people who say they r have been cheated on or r cheaters. u guys seem 2 have a really good relationship and its good u have trust in him. thats the most important thing, what others really think is their own business. ur not just being naive, every woman knows their spouses capabilities and just because most men have a need 2 sleep with other women does not mean urs can b lumped into the same group. b happy that u guys have the kind of relationship that u can say this about, if everyone did the world woukd b a better place

2007-04-15 11:10:48 · answer #3 · answered by mizzlilly 2 · 0 0

No- not all men are cheaters. That is like saying all woman are gold diggers.

You can't generalize an individual. However, you can generalize the pressure that is on a person to see if he is more likely to be a cheater....


Are his parents divorced? or has one of his parents cheated on the other?

Children look to their parents on how to live their adult lives.
Some children take away from their parents’ divorce that marriages are not forever. Children of divorced parents have a higher likely-hood of getting divorced themselves.

Is he going through a crisis in life? Some people find the need to re-define themselves at points in their life as they try to understand their new role in the world as they age. Part of that new exploration may bring them closer to the possibility of one-night stands.

Does he have a "Past love" and an unresolved relationship that might want to "resolve" in an unhealthy way?


Just because these pressures are out there does not mean that he will resort to cheating.

Perhaps what he took from his parents divorce was that communication is key.

Perhaps what he is learning from his midlife crises is that he has an untapped talent that he never explored

Perhaps what he finds from that "unresolved love" was how shallow that dream was, and how different things are valued as one is older.

You can throw statistics at a person all day- but it still comes down to the fact that everyone has free will.

2007-04-15 11:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by There you are∫ 6 · 1 0

What kind of issues does he have down there is my first question?
Monogamy seems to be something that is non-existent in today's culture unless you 2 are really in-love with each other or he has some issues down there that doesn't allow him to satisfy other women.
I was married a long time and have slept with other women because I was really unsatisfied in the bed room with my wife. We had sex almost everyday, but is was more of a routine than sexual satisfaction.
I'm in a relationship with a girl who matches me perfectly in that department and I don't even think about having sex with anyone but her. Sexual feelings are very powerful in all of us.
We all have degrees or levels we like to be at and if we don't have a mate that satisfies each other the sex will be bad for both and the relationship will collapse

2007-04-15 11:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by dan 2 · 0 0

I don't know, but until you start finding things like phone numbers or he stays out all night and won't tell you where he's been (both happened to me...last night as a matter of fact), then I think your husband is faithful. Although...if his friend's are cheaters, that kinda says a lot about the people he chooses to hang out with and I wouldn't put it past him. I never thought my husband would cheat, but now I'm starting to wonder. Never let your guard down.

2007-04-15 11:07:34 · answer #6 · answered by animal_mother 4 · 0 0

First of all, it really doesn't matter what your friends think your husband does anyway. You trust him and thats all that matters. Often time I find that when you have major confidence in your better half people have the tendency to try and sway your belief. Marriage isn't about finding the negative but working on making the positive stuff even better.

2007-04-15 11:27:53 · answer #7 · answered by spjdum 1 · 0 0

if he hasn't done anything to make you suspect he's cheating, then maybe you have a good guy!

mine was a cheater: mysterious phone calls at all hours, wouldn't come home for 7 hours after his shift ended at work, those types of things. I was no dummy....I KNEW he was cheating and I caught him in the act and kicked the crap out of him.

not ALL guys cheat. There are good ones out there. It looks like you have one. :)

2007-04-15 11:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by BarbieGurl 3 · 1 0

I agree with you 100% , As I have been married for 13 years and have yet had my husband cheat on me, For one how you explained your husband is like mine minus the embarrasment issue. In any event, My husband had many of chance to cheat on me but just never wanted to, so have I Had many chances to cheat on him, Our thing is "why screw up something I know really works for a one night stand, and for someone I don't even know."
That being said the number one reason why he doesn't cheat on me is becuase we to are best friends, know each other in every way...
I gave him a chance to cheat on me one time, I knew he liked this woman and she him, and she wanted to but he as always told me about this event, and how he handled it, I told him go for it, he said no it would be like cheating on you even though I have your permission then asked me why I gave him permission .. I just said if you were brave enough to come tell me about that then you earned it .. laughing. I mainly was only joking with him, and expected him to go for it. But he didn't he stood his ground and said I have never cheated and I am not going to start now, as Our marriage was to important to him...

Now I am gonna say something to all, 95 % of men and woman cheat on their mates but the other 5% are out there and they are as true as night and day.So when someone doughts you when you say this it is because they fear themselves either cheating, or have been or are being cheated on.

Now I am not saying my husband has never wanted to nor am I ever going to say it won't happen,but I will say honestly and being open and communicateing with your mate will help prevent cheaters, cheating, and above all, help you learn what the other one wants in order to full fill the erge to cheat.

My husband and I are one of a kind, and that is all I have to say.... I don't get upset with my husband with his lady friend and that is all they are, He has known several women,(co- workers mainly) and yes I am insecure to he most part of all women .. but he has shown through out the years that he is honest and believeable.. besides he has to go out to cheat, all he does from the day I ment him was go to work come home.

So ladies and gentlemen, There are those that are few and far inbetween that do not will not and most certainly think at a higher level of respect for their mate. My husband and I made a promise to each other, if we were ever to cheat on one another, that would be the day that we would be divorced, and tell each other we have ment someone else and would like to end our relationship..

Maybe this all sounds naive to but the truth is alway harder to believe then the lie.....

2007-04-15 11:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I guess whoever say it to u are jealous of u.
Who says that ALL guys are cheaters? - all those hopless women who can not satisfy their men.
If there is love and respect, there is no cheatting.

Don't listen to such loosers and live ur happy life with ur devoted husband, dear.

2007-04-15 11:14:31 · answer #10 · answered by Panther 3 · 0 0

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