Today my daughter is going to be an alter server at her church for the 1st time. It's a big thing for her. We bought her a nice outfit to wear. I'd like my husband to accompany me to watch her 1st day as an alter server. We have a difference in opinion as to if he should go with me or not. He doesn't want to because he is not a church going person. He asked why does he have to go if i am not making my older son who is 15 go. I said i'd like for him to accompany me, thats what married people do. What's your opinion on this issue?
2007-04-15 02:55:20 · 10 answers · asked by denise b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is my husbands **Stepdaughter (my daughter). I should have made that clear in my previous post. My X-Husband and his family (aunts, cousins, uncles, grandma....) will be there. I thought it was appropriate for my husband to be there.
2007-04-15 03:57:39 · update #1
Does your daughter care? Has SHE been asked?
*edit*
Given that it's not his daughter, if he doesn't want to be there, it's his choice. It's a family thing, and her dad will be there.
It's unfair of you to expect a non-religious person to go out of his/her way for you.
Also, if your son is not going.... Why would you expect him to be more loyal to his STEP-daughter than you expect your son to be to his own sister?
2007-04-15 03:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think even if he is not a church going person he is still a father and he should be there every time his daughter does something that is important to her. That's how it is when you are a parent. It will mean alot to your daughter and that is what is most important. She needs to know that her mom AND her dad will always be there to support her no matter what she is doing.
2007-04-15 10:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by ♥itsme♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems like it should be more of a father/daughter issue, not husband/wife.
If your daughter doesn't care, then you should let it go and just be there to support her yourself.
Forcing it on him will only make him fight harder.
If your daughter wants him there, she should ask him herself, and tell him it's important to her.
I just read your second post. It makes more sense now. Maybe he'll be uncomfortable around your ex and the family.
I can understand you wanting him there for you now.
He should try to suck up his own discomfort and be there for you. Someday he'll want you to do the same.
2007-04-15 10:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by amstaff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he should definately go, you are a married couple and he should be there to support you and your children when you need him too. Like you said- this is a big day for your daughter and she needs to see that both of her parents are proud of her, not just one so I think you should ask him to go again.Your daughter has done something she should be proud of, and she deserves support, praise and attention, so id say the bigger issue is not about mariage but about being a parent. good luck at church xxx
2007-04-15 10:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've made your point clear to him..that you want to do things together as a married couple...but perhaps going to church is something he really doesn't feel comfortable about....you shouldn't force him on this one...but when a school play comes up..or something else your child is involved in...he can go with you then....ask him that way..and see his response. Just let him know that it would be a good thing to do as a child wants her parents(BOTH parents) to be there to support her and see the accomplishments of hard work and effort she's done and for them to be Proud of her*~ It's also not just for you and him to do 'couple things/married things' together, it's also being there for all your kids as a Family* So they can learn the value of a strong family/relationship* To be there for the ones you love, to support them and stand proud for them*
Goodluck*
2007-04-15 10:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave it be. He knows how important this is to you. Yet he still will not go. He will learn from this. Go and enjoy this day with your daughter.
2007-04-15 10:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should go it's his daughter too!
2007-04-15 10:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by Suki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry. some people hate church. you cant infringe personal beliefs on them.
you cant force people to go to church if they dont want to. even if its just to see your daughter.
although i think he is being selfish. if he knows its important to her, he should go...for her.
2007-04-15 10:01:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want him to be there for you or for your daughter?
2007-04-15 09:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if it is important to his daughter, it should be important to him. she needs his support.
2007-04-15 10:05:41 · answer #10 · answered by mike m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋