I'm just being curious and thought it's best to ask u guys....it's about rape?

Question

I just want to inform myself....How do you deal or cope or approach a rape victim? What do you do and how do you talk to her? I mean especially when the victim knows that you are aware of everything; the rape and all. Do you evade the subject completely, do you try to talk about it? Because some persons don't like it when we trod carefully around them when they went thru a traumatic experience. And also, when you disover someone has been raped...I mean on the crime scene itself, moments or some time after it happened what do we do? How do we approach the person, what do we do? What are the appropriate words and actions? Please it there is anyone who works or who is familiar in this kind of situations, please answer. Thanks

Answer 1

you first need to let the victim know that you are there for her. Nine times out of ten a victim will only talk to some one that they trust completely. It is a hard subject to approach. If you do want to approach the subject first research different couseling groups and suggest that she attend and let her know that you will stand by her and be there for her. you also need to make sure that she is fully aware that you believe her beyond a shadow of a doubt, because that is the major problem with rape the victim doesnt believe that any one will believe her. you are a very good friend to be there for some one through something like that and you might have a very positve impact on her.

Answer 2

I would say that I am sorry it happened and then wait for someone to talk about it and be senitive to their spacing out or crying for no apparent reason. If people want to talk about it, listen. Avoid giving advice. You can encourage reporting it or ask, if THEY bring it up, but it is really up to them, but it is also better, because it will give them a feeling that they are doing something and getting power back over their life. Don't push people to talk about it; they will when they trust you and when they are ready. Many people feel that talking about it is like it happening again. reat them like you normally would (hopefully, that is good; teasing may not be appropriate), but don't be afraid to carry on life because normal associations are good. In this way YOU have a problem because it is on your mind, more than it is their problem, and that is what interferes with the normal course of events. People may need some leeway in meeting their responsibilities at first for several months after, so it is important to give it to them. You can recognize that they need leeway because of the incident, but there is no need to pursue it, just show that you are sensitive to why their lives appear disrupted and they are not performing as they did, but that they will get back to being more themselves. No one is really the same after such an event; it has to have a permanent effect and the person makes changes in their life. Counseling is good for the person to pursue and can teach people how to cope and can help them reason out their feelings.
People may also need assurance that people do not see them as "damaged" or different or less of a person than what they were. Of course, you can't just say that. They nned to know that they are loved, respected, etc., which comes with treating them the same as you did, as long as that is good. If you treated them badly, leave them alone.
If you come upon a crime scene, you should dial 911, keep people away from the area until police come, have them go in an ambulance to the emergency room. Encourage people to be sensitive to their feelings, although most people should be. Make sure the person is okay after calling 911 or check the person and have someone else call 911. Get training in CPR to be prepared; the trainng is good for this situation as well and is covered.
If you have any further questions, write email to me.

Answer 3

Depending on the cicumstances, I would stay away from the topic altogether. If the victim wants to talk about it , let her bring it up. Then you have an open door to offer support and a shoulder to lean on if needed. Try to be the friend you were before it happened. Don't give the idea that all of a sudden people are looking at her differently now.

Answer 4

Are you looking to discuss the rape as a friend or on a professional level? Or are you just a friend looking to know how to deal with your friend who is a victim?

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As a professional, well then chances are the victim is coming to you for a reason. You just listen and help them learn to heal themselves. That is what a good professional would do.

As a friend who wants to help the victim, again you just listen, but on a more personal level. Let the person cry as much as necessary.

As a friend who just want to know how to deal with the victim, act normal. And don't bring it up unless it was brought up by your friend.

Answer 5

Farhali,
Usually the rape victims commence considering themselves as guilty of the crime.They think that some of their actions might have seduced the rapist.They fail to comprehend the fact that the rapist is a sick man,mentally ill.So its very important to deal with rape victims with a lot of love,care and compassion but beware of showing sympathy.Once sympathy is showered they either become mentally feeble or tries to withdraw themselves from the mainstream society.This may isolate them and lead to graver mental problems.

So after a certain period of time after the trauma it becomes important for the benefactor to gradually inspire the girl back to normal life.The benefactor has to be very patient since the girl may undergoe hysteric outbreaks at times even on meeting people esp men whom she knows.

Answer 6

I think you might find the best answer to this by calling a local rape center and explaining that you are calling to learn more about how to deal with a rape victim. They can probably give you some good ideas over the phone and refer you to some excellent resources.

Answer 7

Take your cue from the victim....She will unconsciously provide you with guidance as to how she feels comfortable dealing with it. Appropriateness as to words or actions? This too shall be revealed with time.