what happened?

Question

for the last few weeks my husband has been extremely affectionate and considerate towards me. He works the night shift so he would call me and sound enthusiastic in conversation and we would cuddle on the weekends when he's off. This past week he did not call, we only talked if I made the call ( I usually let him do the calling since he knows when he's free to talk) and he doesn't show any interest in cuddling even when I try to snuggle up to him it's like hugging a wall. he made a comment about bowling, I assumed he met together since we always bowl together (we don't go all the time, but when we do we always bowl together) when I mentioned coming along he changed his mind and made it seem like he was going the next day. I've asked was anything going on, what's wrong etc. no valid response. Does it sound funky or is it just a low point in the rollercoaster sense of marriage (as they say marriage has it's ups and downs)?

Answer 1

He is probably going through something stressful and is not ready to share it with you. Men can be very hard to read, especially the ones that have communication problems. Give him a little time and maybe he will talk about it or maybe he will just start acting normal again. A lot of times they just one day start acting like nothing happened and we never know what the deal was. Good luck.

Answer 2

Who knows what happened....but something obviously did. Things have changed drastically in a week and that doesn't make sense. Unless he is usually the type to shift from one extreme to the other in short time periods, I would assume soemthing is wrong regardless of what he says. Even so, if he is the type to switch from super affectionate to super distant....why is that okay? That only leaves you confused and wondering what happened...like you are now. You deserve to know what is going on and he owes it to you to tell you. Don't give up trying to find out.....and don't shut down towards him until you know what's wrong. If you shut down also, then the problem is compounded. When you do find out what happened, you need to have a discussion about appropriate ways to express himself and deal with situations rather than turning into a cold stranger toward you. That's not fair...and it's even more unfair that he's treating you this way and expects it to be okay.
PS: Like I said, unless this is how your husband usually is....it doesn't sound like the rollercoaster of marriage. It doesn't usually happen over night.

Answer 3

It sounds like the rollercoaster. I'm sure you've heard that men don't talk when they are stressed or worried. They do stuff and spend time with buddies to take their mind off of things or isolate themselves in some way while we tend to want to "get it all out". His being overly affectionate could have been his way of getting comfort from you. Did you respond back with affection?

Things could be really stressful at work for him now, or something else could be bothering him. A week of this behavior is nothing to worry about, but I think you should try to talk to him about this, be gentle and open. Just tell him you are worried and ask him if there's anything you can do and then do it.

Answer 4

Sounds like your guy has a thinggoing on with another woman. Turn it around and make him think you are doing the same by acting the same towards him. Get all fixed up and tell him you have to meet a friend for drinks and leave it at that , then get in your car and go somewhere for a while, Come home all dreamy and smiley with a button pulled off yourshirt and wet hair. You will have him on his knees, crying like a baby in no time.

Answer 5

I've been in the same boat myself at times, my situation has lasted for over 10 years. In my case, I believe it's because my wife isn't "in love" with me anymore. She just loves me. Occasionally she realizes that she hasn't been affectionate in a couple months and she tries hard to be affectionate. However, within a couple of weeks it drops off again. Maybe your spouse is starting to go through these feelings. Watch out though, eventually my wife realized she wasn't attracted to me anymore and now she wants a divorce. So my advice is not to let this go. Talk it out and work it out, if you ignore the problem, it'll most likely get worse.

Answer 6

You don't say how long it is that you have been married??? Has he always been moody like this??? Does he have an important birthday coming up??? Is he always home on time, or are you awake to notice??? Some important things to think about, I hope it works out for you. Its not good when you are in a relationship, and it is an emotional roller coaster. Good Luck

Answer 7

Somethings on his mind and you should let him know that you're there if he needs anyone to talk to. I don't know whether what's on his mind could affect you in a positive or negative way. But letting him know you're available and there for him is a huge impact on his mood. At first he may tell you nothing's wrong or everything's fine. But eventually if it's really bothering him he will tell you. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Something may just be happening here and you need to be more of a Investigator. If he says he is going bowling, don't ask to go BUT go and check it out to see if he is really there.

If you are feeling something, then there may just be a reason for it!

Answer 9

Sounds like your roller coaster took a turn. Something doesn't seem right. You have a gut feeling about this, now follow through!

Answer 10

well you cant assume anything in a marriage, you need to look at the big picture, his job stress, money stress, kids stress, look for these signs before thinking the worse like another woman, he don't love me, he thinks I'm not sexy. just find the right time and when its alright to ask..good luck