me and my boyfriend months ago had a fight and we broke up. when we were together again i asked him if he had done anything stupid while we broke up and he told me that he had sex with a bar girl.but when i told him that i still love him and willing to accept him and cried about it he suddenly told me that it wasnt true and just wants me to cry because he was still angry. but..i still want to know the truth if he did it. can any psychologists or experts out there help me to deal with my boyfriend. how will i let him tell me the truth? how will i ask him and talk to him? what will i say in order for him to tell me the truth without being afraid? please help. thank you.
2007-04-15 01:04:08 · 11 answers · asked by mini 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Listen. Leave the past in the past, that's where it belongs. You have a chance for a fresh new start, don't spoil it. What he did or didn't do when you were not dating is not your concern. Get over it and enjoy life
2007-04-15 01:07:54 · answer #1 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
One of the Graces we women have trouble developing is that of silence.
Men with silent women praise them incessantly.
I'm not saying don't talk to the man, I'm saying develop some discretion regarding what you do discuss.
You told him you love him and are willing to accept him. Yet you're still fishing....is it because the end of that sentence is......willing to accept him as long as he did Not sleep with someone else?
The man has given you the information you want: he was angry. he wanted you to hurt over him enough to cry. He wants that much emotion from you.
Time to put his need before your want. He needs to know you accept him. Just the way you said. And that the issue is now in the past and does not jeapordize the relationship.
Let's assume he did it. He did it on fair ground, rebounding from the loss of someone he loved. First man to ever do that? No.
Let's assume he didn't do it. Now why are you pursuing something that didn't happen. (And he already said it didn't happen.)
Learn to distinguish when you push a point and when you don't and then don't push points. Eventually he'll tell you everything. But he needs a quiet moment to get a word in. And it needs to be when he is ready to discuss it. Not you. You already made your bargain. Stick to it.
2007-04-15 01:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really touched me. The truth is , one cannot love for two. He most likely did what he said and rethought it. The male creed is , deny, deny, deny.
Evidently you love more than you are loved. You look for what is not there. You need a more equal playing field , To be the object of someones love. You can't create a relationship that is not there. Yours is based on truth. Hi is deception.
I truly wish you well, A strong foundation is more important than someone just liking you before you give your heart.
2007-04-15 01:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by Meat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you dont need to know. What are you going to do with that information? Use it in a fight always? make it a big deal? bring it up whenever you have a fight? or even whe he looks at another girl? Get real. Stop being a nag.
2007-04-15 01:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by nice guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm an average joe. Have a friend call him, make sure he has two phones on one line, have the friend talk while you listen, have the friend tell him whatever it takes to get it out. Then you hang up, and slap his face off.
It works, I've done it.
2007-04-15 01:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by Stan Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're afraid of him you're with the wrong guy. You should never be afraid of some you care about. What he's doing is stupid and childish and he's hurting you. Ditch the jerk!
2007-04-15 01:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He very well have could have said that to you to hurt you, with no truth behind it. you cant MAKE him tell you the truth. Now you should stop dwelling on it and move on.
2007-04-15 01:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, what i usually do is have a heart to heart talk to him and ask him to tell me the truth. that i will not get mad, i just want to know the truth.
but you will never really know if he's lying esp if he's a good liar. you just HAVE to trust his answer.
2007-04-15 01:07:48 · answer #8 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lie detector test. Or threaten to chop off his private parts with a huge cleaver if he doesn't confess.
2007-04-15 01:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by kickstatus101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has told u jus 2 make u jealous dats all.... d guy seems 2 b innocent. no worries
2007-04-15 01:07:59 · answer #10 · answered by Shaista 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋