Can you please fix the grammar of this letter so that it would look as elegant as possible?

Question

(Because this letter will be sent to a very important person)

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Excellency,

I have a pleasure to inform your Excellency that the Malaysian Embassy has submitted the Amicus Letter on February 5th, 2007.

The copy of the document will be sent to EIA Secretariat by the Malaysian Embassy in London. Mr Jack could be asked to follow up this.

Thank you,

Answer 1

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Excellency,

I am pleased to inform your Excellency that on February 5th, 2007, the Malaysian Embassy submitted the Amicus Letter.

A copy of the document will be sent, by the Malaysian Embassy in London, to the EIA Secretariat. It will be requested that Mr Jack follow up on this matter.

Thank you,

Answer 2

Excellency,

It is my pleasure to inform your Excellency that the Malaysian Embassy has submitted the Amicus Letter on February 5th, 2007.

The copy of the document will be sent to EIA Secretariat by the Malaysian Embassy in London. For a follow up, please ask MR. Jack.

Thank you.

Answer 3

You don't say how important this person is. On the assumption it is addressed to an ambassador the following rules apply:

Ambassadors
ENVELOPE: "His Excellency Mr. ...."
OPEN: "Dear Mr..."
CLOSE: "Yours sincerely"

So your letter would be:

His Excellency Mr (name)

Dear Mr (name)

I have a pleasure to inform your Excellency that the Malaysian Embassy submitted the Amicus Letter on February 5th, 2007.

The copy of the document will be sent to EIA Secretariat via the Malaysian Embassy in London. Mr Jack could be asked to follow this up.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely


(Your signature and name)

Answer 4

Excellency,

It is my pleasure to inform your Excellency that the Malaysian Embassy has submitted the Amicus Letter on February 5th, 2007.

A copy of the document will be sent to EIA Secretariat by the Malaysian Embassy in London. Mr. Jack may be asked to follow up on this.

Thank you,