what am i supposed to do?

Question

i cant take any more. my step son is still driving me nuts, hes lazy, hes rude still lying through his back teeth. he leaves tooth paste allover the sink he keeps leaving the bread open all night and is just a dirty scruffy little get. problem is im not allowed to say anything as this riles his dad, my hubby ,right up! We just clebrated our first wedding anniversery, dosent look like theres gonna be another. I cant live like this any longer but if i leave , stepson has won!! if i stay, all me and my hubby will do is argue and probably split anyway. its a no win situation i dont know what to do.

Answer 1

i have the same problem with stepdaughter,unless your hubby backs you100%,you cant win,good luck

Answer 2

Well how old is this kid?? And have you had a straight forward no non sense talk with your husband?? I mean genuine communicating about how you feel?? The kid is a spoiled idiot and playing you for all it is worth. No need to go nuts--just cut your losses and pack up and leave---did the kid act up before you married?? Well I wouldn't stay in there another day without a talking it over and stating the case as i see it. Tell him that it is over unless he does something drastic about this. it will be a long hard road even when hubby tells him--so if that is not suitable for you--realize that you deserve better--and walk out. You are supposed to be having a happy life--not a house with some loopy kid. Stand up and state your case. it isn't a game--so he doesn't win--the point is he is being a jerk---and you don't need that. Good luck

Answer 3

Girl.
You need to stop talking and follow through with actions. Don't threaten, don't negotiate. It's your house and he has to follow the rules (your stepson that is.) he knows what he's doing is wrong, it's an attempt to play you off against dad or he it's a cry for attention. Maybe you and hubby could discuss in private some rules to lay down when it comes to stepson. The first one being that you guys never disagree in front of him. It's not going to be easy but why should your marriage suffer because of this kid. It's not about winning or losing, it's about you deciding what's the best thing for you and to create harmony in your home. Kids need direction and they find all sorts of ways to rest their boundries. You need to talk to your man so that he realises what's at stake if he just leaves things as they are.

Answer 4

I am sorry for the kid, why did ou get married it seems as you cannot leave together with your husband. It is takes 2 to work and you need to talk to your husband about your son (how old is he), involving him not just give up on your marriage and if your son big enough, you should talk to him also. You son will be the one losing out if you two split.

Answer 5

You have to talk to your husband about this and not when the son has done something and your in a mood etc

You need to sit down and talk without shouting and if that doesn't work then you need to put it on paper, it seems to me that the husband isn't a good listener, he hears you but he doesn't heed what your saying.

Without a doubt this would ruin any relationship and it needs to be sorted sooner rather than later. Its not about winning its about fighting for the one you love...its wrong of your husband to accept this behaviour.

Answer 6

I take it your husband is also a slob. Well, you're just going to have to do the right thing and live with the consequences. Doing the right thing means to set some rules then enforce them. Dole out punishment when the rules are broken. If your husband doesn't back you up, it's time to leave.

Answer 7

Stop blaming your stepson for the fact that his father doesn't discipline him. Your step son is the product of the way he has been raised. Put the blame where it belongs and quit giving your step son a bad rap. Your husband obviously doesn't give a damn about your feelings...It isn't that your step son is going to "win"...It's that you lost the day you married his father.

Answer 8

Take your Hubie some where alone were you can talk in private and tell him that you really love him with you hole hart and soul but you cant go on like this you don't want to split them up but he must choose between the two of you. And if he still doesn't not listen ask him way he married you if he wants to be married to that little brat!

Answer 9

Sounds like if you leave you win period. If your husband won't stick up for you as the woman of the house trying to bring civility in the home then you need to leave and find a man with real leadership skills that is willing to support you as his mate.

Answer 10

IGNORE HIM & HIS ACTIONS! Don't say anything to him or your husband & don't clean up after him , just separate yourself from his aggravating ways. Letting stuff like that upset you is only hurting you , stop letting the kid stress you out. Then when dad says why is this like this say I don't know ask your son, he 's the one who left it that way. If your husband ask why you didn't clean it up, remain calm & say he is old enough to know better & I'm not going to stress myself out about his crap anymore ,if he tears the walls down so be it & just ignore him. The more he sees it bothers you the more he is going to do it, you can't control anyone but you no matter how hard you try, you are the adult here, control yourself, thats all you can do.

Answer 11

Tell your husband to get him under control. He has to be the man of the house and stand up for you or he is a worthless and your step-son.