Do you sometimes appear homophobic to other homosexuals even if you don't mean to?

Question

I'm gay and I'm fairly secure about it. But sometimes I act arkward around more open homosexuals or gay couples when I pass them in the street. It makes me feel guilty that I'm acting negatively even I though I understand them.

On the inside I'm happy for them but on the outside I'm different.
Are there other homosexuals who act like this even though you understand them?

I used the term homosexuals because I was referring to both males AND females, not because I'm not comfortable with my sexuality.

I was asking this because I know quiet a lot of homosexuals grow up in pretty anti-gay areas and/or anti-gay families. Growing up in those kind of environments makes it harder for homosexuals to except themselves and other homosexuals. We didn't all grow in a gay friendly city you know.

That last sentence was mean't to say: "We didn't all grow up in a gay friendly city you know."

Answer 1

Yeah. I know some gays, and I mean them well, and could care less what their preferences are, but I find that when I look back on my interactions with them, I act a bit different.

I guess it's just the way I'm programmed. Oh well, I don't consider myself hateful or homophobic or whatever, just how I naturally respond.

Answer 2

I wonder about a few things, but to your question I answer, 'yes.'

One of the things I wonder about is; how open we are allowing ourselves to be? You see, I think that the insecurity that we might be feeling towards some that are Gay is the fact that we do have limits to who we allow to be with us. Just because we might have men in our sexual preference ( not too many for me, I'm Bi and I'm more interested in women), doesn't mean that we want any man.

And the barrier that I think that I put up is a defense againt the idea that a particular man might automatically think that I am coming on to him.

That doesn't make us homophobic, it means that we have preferences, and our bodies are not sitting in the library like a book, ready to be picked up by anyone desiring to open us up.

That might be more graphic than I anticipated, but I think that gets the point across.

Answer 3

My brother is gay but he admits he is even homophobic! It is because its wrong and we all know it. However life is about choices to be what you want truly only God can judge you. However the truth is still the truth why do we want to obey some of the laws but ignore it when it applys to us and our little dirt? Just like Im not suppose to have premarital sexy (which I have a problem with) there are other issues for others. If this bothers you then you need to pray about this issue in your life.

Answer 4

i understand what you mean, i generally dont play well with other gay guys, i dont think its a gay thing, i think where i live the gay guys are just not my type of people regardless of sexuality but being gay they're easier to judge

Answer 5

As a heterosexual male who is conscious of how I treat the people around me, I think I'm guilty of making the same mistake. I think it's because I try to overcompensate by being extra nice to homosexuals as to convey acceptance of their lifestyle. Ironically, I think they take that as being homophobic.

Answer 6

I haven't experienced this phenomenon.

The fact that you talk about other Queer people and refer to us using the very clinical term "homosexual" makes me think you aren't as comfortable with your sexuality as you claim to be.

Another thought is that if you are so uncomfortable around openly gay men, what is the root of this discomfort? Are you equally uncomfortable with openly hetero people? Something to think about.

Answer 7

Nope. I am not "flamming" but I would never act awkward towards a gay couple or person.

Answer 8

You mean there are gays out there who think that gays who aren't flaming queens (for lack of a better term) are homophobic? That's just sad. :S

Answer 9

reason it is irrational. yet you're loose to hate whoever you opt for (your brother, son, buddy might nicely be gay, interior the closet you be attentive to that ideal? it is irrational to hate somebody you used to love reason you have self assurance his way of existence is immoral.)

Answer 10

when i see other lesbians, i look 'em up and down. they do it too. it's this whole "i'm gay, you're gay, we're cool" thing. i don't know if guys do this...