Have you ever tried to break up with a guy and he wont accept it?

Question

My bf n i have been dating for 5yrs, and ive tried to break up with him several times and everytime he cries bout how he loves me and that you can love someone one day n then the next not love em. what can i do?

Answer 1

You have to make up your mind what you really want! If you want to be with him, then BOTH of you need to find a way to make it work. But if you don't than you need to let go.

I was in that same situation with my child's father, just in limbo... until I realized that he wasn't what I wanted. Prior to our break up (maybe 4 months before) I was like I am not happy, I am not me, and this relationship ismaking me miserable. So I decided that I was going to transform back into me slowly but surely. For instance, I was a stay at home momand our baby was under a year old. When he would come home from work I would have dinner cooked, the house clean, baby ready for bed and then i would get myself dressed up like I was going somewhere even if it was the grocery store. He hated it but that is where I was most comfortable.

When the final straw came down, we had an agreement on it was kind of lke the rest of the agurements we had in the past be the only thing was this time I called the police on him, not because I was scared but I knewtht in his book the police were a no no. I called them and they harrassed his *** for a fw days before locking him up. I took out a restraining order and packed his ****.

I didn't feel good about it initially, I lost like 40 pounds in a month because I could'nt eat. I cried and I missed him but I knew he wasn't right for me and my child. I did not want my daughter to be raise in a house with drama 24/7. My childhood was like that and I vowed not to put my kids through that even if it means being alone.

Fast forward, 4 years that same man has a cocaine addiction, he's moved from one trampy girl to the next, he is taking care of some other mans child, he is working under the table cleaning carpet so he doesn't have to pay his child support for my daughter, he hasw moved every year because of the police raiding his home, etc... And I sit back and say WOW, I could have been dealing with all of that right along with him had I stayed. I am happy, my child is happy, we live in a nice suburb, in a two story condo, and everything in here is mine. My daughter is a happy child, and carefree about the world. and I say when the right one comes along... our lives will be enhanced.

The moral of the story is: in order to break up with somone, it has to be something that makes the other one say you crossed me, I can't go back. So if you are going to call it quits, say it and mean it,change your number if you have to, just make sure he gets the point and you don't give in!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Geez, this is a hard one, but I've been there, so I thought I would give it a shot.

Okay, so what happened to me is this. I was engaged to this guy and the suddenly I could never get a hold of him. I would call, I would page him -- he would never call back for days. Then he would say his pager was broke or he was at work or something. (He was an EMT, so he did have some strange work hours). His other excuse was that he was having visitation with his son. I thought that was really nice, but found it strange that I never even got to meet his son, I mean don't you think it would be a good thing to let your son get to know your soon-to-be wife?

Anyway, after the same thing happened WAY too many times, I decided that it just wasn't worth it. I found that I really didn't believe him. I never found out what was really going on, but I think he either had another girlfriend or was still seeing his ex-wife or something. I mean, he would disappear for days at a time for pete's sake!

Okay, so one day I decided it was over and I called him and broke up with him. I don't remember specifically what he said, but somehow he sweet talked me back. This happened about 4 times. I never felt good about it afterward, but I just couldn't tell him no.

So here is the answer to your question. This is how I was finally able to really break up with him. I decided that I would just have to not call or talk to him for a while and really just harden my heart toward him. No, I didn't hate him, I just had to make it to the point where I knew I could resist him, because all along, I knew it wasn't right.

So one day, I was finally ready and I paged him. I waited for him to call and he never did and all of a sudden the doorbell rang. It was him. He said he was just jogging in the park down the street from my house. What did I want?

Well, I told him that it was over and that I didn't want him to call me or anything. He was all weepy and trying to kiss me and hold me and I just was stiff like a board and wouldn't let him touch me. It felt really mean, but I knew I had to do it so I could stay strong. Finally he left my house. I cried for like 2 days, but then my roommate said some things and we talked about it and we both knew it was the right thing.

Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is, if you really, truly want to break up with the guy, you have to completely get over him before you try to break up again. Tell him nice things like that you really appreciate this and that that he did for you and stuff like that, but that you really think this is the best thing.

I don't know why you want to break up with him, but maybe if you tell him that you have realized that you really are not happy with him and that you want to take a different direction in your life or you have realized that you don't like the life you have made together and you have to move on. Again, it is hard to say, not know why exactly you want to end it.

Let him cry. I know it sounds mean, but everyone gets their heart broken at some point. It is okay if he still loves you. I have an idea that in some ways you still love him, but you are no longer IN love with him.

Just be strong and if this is really what you want, you have to make it happen. You will only be stressed out until you do.

Sorry this is so long. I get carried away sometimes. Good luck and I hope you have a really happy life when you get this all straightened out.

Answer 3

Let him know that he is an important part of your life but you just dont feel the same way about him that you once did and itd be best to just stay friends.
Itll hurt him but he has to realize that all good things must come to an end and everything happens for a reason.

Answer 4

For one - make sure you give the poor guy an explanation. It was 5 years. If he DIDN'T "cry" about it, I'd be concerned. :) If you have broken it down, for him - and he still can't accept it, you just have to move on. If they knew your reasons, one could get into whether or not you were wrong to leave him - but at the end of the day, that is irrelevant. You have made a choice, and whether he likes it or not - it is your prerogative. He has to let you go. He cannot make you stay. To try, is to be manipulative and controlling. If you let him persuade you to stay, you are leading him on, playing with his emotions, and abusing yourself. Be as gentle and understanding with him as you can, but firmly let him know "IT IS OVER." Then you walk out, and don't look back. Given your situation - that means no phone calls, no visits...nothing. Make a clean break. It'll be easier on both of you. If he should get to acting stupid - threaten him with a restraining order. If he still doesn't get it - enforce it.

Hopefully, things won't go there - but I know that they can. There was this guy who I thought was one of my best friends. One day, he tells me he wants to be more than friends. He wanted to date me. I said no, because I didn't like him like that. Then it was, that he wanted to marry me. The guy wouldn't listen to me, for anything. I put my foot down, and thought he had finally backed off. But one day during a conversation, he deliberately insulted me - I discovered - to instigate a fight. Abhorred and shocked - I pushed him away from me. My push wouldn't have hurt a fly, but this crazy fool used it as an excuse to give me one of the worst beatings, in my life. He was in the military, and worked with the police department - and used his training, to torture me. I almost lost my life. That was just a "friend"; but I did have one abusive boyfriend, who threatened to kill me, if I left him. God really had my back, with both of those situations. I should have been dead, twice. Not to scare you, but just be careful - and don't be afraid to do what it takes. That's easier said, than done - but use your support system, to give you strength. If you don't have one - get one. Take care of yourself, baby.

Answer 5

It takes two people to make a relationship.
It only takes one to end it.
If you are not happy in the relationship, tell him it is over. Then show him the door. Do not see him; do not take messages; do not send messages. Do not call him; do not take his calls.
Eventually he will get the idea that it's really over.

Answer 6

Maybe,Try not to keep in-touch with him.
Or you could get a friend (female) which is single n pretty
MAYBE HE WILL FALL FOR HER!!
AND most importent .
DONT FEEL PITTY! Dump him like a satay-stick you wanna throw away

Answer 7

u should tell him that you will not take "no" for an answer!
Its your life, not his.....................