how do i change the way i think... first off i had a really bad relationship that lasted for 4 years, and we broke up almost 3 years ago. i have been dating this new girl for about 3 months now, shes alot older than me, 22-27, and i cant help but think that she is always lying to me and cheating on me. i know she isnt, cause shes always with me, but i still cant help feeling that she is and blame her for it. how do i get over this feeling and learn to trust her when i dont trust anyone?
2007-04-14 17:57:12 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Devyn, you might start by looking inside yourself and asking if you trust yourself. Do you always do what you think is the right thing to do? Do you listen to that inner voice that always talks to us and tells us what is right? Are you honest with yourself? If you can't trust yourself, then you won't be able to trust anyone else...and nobody else will be able to trust you. Everything you see is a projection of your own, and if you see love and happiness, you will find it all around you. If you see pain and sorrow, or mistrust in yourself, then that is what you will find in the world. It is your world, yours to make of it what you will. You have the choice.
2007-04-14 18:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving a person is a risk. Good can come out of it, or bad.
Stop expressing the anger toward the new girlfriend.
Realize the new lady in your life is not the old girlfriend. She hasn't done anything to you. The old one did it. It seems as though the old relationship was left unresolved. You most likely didn't get to express your hurt to the old girlfriend therefore you are transferring the anger to the new one because it is convenient. The only way to stop it is to really get the point here: The new girl hasn't done anything! Treat her good and trust her. Don't make her have to earn your trust when she hasn't done a thing for you to take it away. You have a chance at happiness, don't take advantage of it!
Realize the old girl is gone, don't waste anymore of your time carrying around the hurt. Don't let the old girl dictate your emotions! She is out of your life, there's no use holding on to the hurt.
**Plus older women tend to want to settle down more! your knew lady is knocking 30, she's probably got marriage on her mind if anything and not cheating!!
2007-04-15 01:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by JesO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cant trust anyone then its kind of losing proposition to trust your girlfriend. Its also kind of dangerous to put all your faith in one person, especially if that is the person you are in a romantic relationship with, doing so is setting yourself up to be hurt and to lose an already dwindling faith in humanity. It sounds like you have some issues to deal with yourself, before you start contemplating a serious relationship. If you have trust issues you need to evaluate your life to see where these began and therefore find ways in which to deal with them. A mental health professional of some sort could be greatly instrumental in aiding this process. It would also help just to have someone to talk to once in a while, and to know that you have someone you can to.
2007-04-15 01:18:17 · answer #3 · answered by Mai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may just be paranoid.
I guess all the things she tells you, if you find any are lies, then there may be a problem.
No lies is a good thing.
2007-04-15 01:05:32 · answer #4 · answered by Michael S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋