I cheated on my husband with my ex. I've never ever been unfaithful like this, but lately, the sex is just not pleasing me like it was before. My husband has also cheated before, about 3 times. Or so I know about. I forgave him, and since then he hasn't had any other sexual relations (well besides with me.) I love him to death and I don't know why I cheated like that. I guess it was just because the sex hasn't been as good and I guess I wanted something more or better. So the point is..I forgave him for his past sexual life of cheating... but he can't forgive me. What do I do ???
2007-04-14 17:31:30 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It doesn't sound like the two of you have a very healthy relationship. I would suggest marriage counseling.
2007-04-14 17:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't right for either of you to cheat, but you have, and it's done. Perhaps he thought when you forgave him, that you both determined that there wouldn't be anymore infidelity in the marriage. By cheating on him, he may have taken it to mean that you really didn't forgive him after all, and that you cheated on him to get back at him.
Unfortunately, we don't know what his reason is for not forgiving you. Try to discuss it with him. And he is also wrong to not forgive you, after you forgave him for doing the same thing.
Marriages can survive and thrive despite something like this. If you two want your marriage to work, you'll both need to deal with these indiscretions and get past them. Forgive and forget. If you aren't able to do it on your own, a marriage counselor may help.
2007-04-18 23:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What losers! You two have some serious issues. You need a whole lot of marriage counseling and fast. If the only way that either of you can think of to work through problems in your relationship is to mess around, there's not much hope for you.
Find a good counselor to learn how to communicate with each other, rather than sleeping with others.
2007-04-15 00:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by Biff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You forbid him to do something you do not like, yet you're doing it behind his back. It's just like telling a kid not to steal, and the moment the kid isn't paying attention, or so you thought, you steal from a shop. Obviously he will be angry.
Have a talk with him. Let him know that you did this in a moment of folly. That it didn't mean a thing. Tell him incely how sorry you were and make it up to him. Tell him the problem. If everything else fails, last resort is to see a marriage counsellor.
2007-04-17 00:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by isabsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you don't have much of a marriage, or neither of you would cheat. You should find out why you can't be faithful in the first place. People who are actually in love with each other do not cheat.
2007-04-15 01:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u clearly showed him u were looking to find better than him, and his ego is hurt right now. some people just can't forgive cheating because it hurts them. u need to talk to him, remind him he also cheated on u. regaining trust sometimes takes awhile, people react to cheating in different ways. some can forgive easily while others can't forgive so easily. but if he loves u he will forgive this, and move on, may take some therapy, u need to let him know that what u did was wrong, and u acknowledge what u did hurt him, and show some remorse. he just doesn't feel loved, he may feel u don't want him anymore.
2007-04-15 00:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater, yeah you love him but that doesn't make you stop, so love is not enough for either of you.
you DON'T KNOW THE MEANING of respect, or faithfulness, not even the words THROUGH SICKNESS &HEALTH OR TO DEATH DO US PART. Why stay married if you can't control your hormones, why bother with apologies if they do not mean anything... I've been cheated on and it's not a good feeling...
2007-04-15 00:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by Monica A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time. Either he forgives you or he doesn't.
I think the real question is- do you still want to be with him? I can't imagine why you would cheat on a person you still loved. If you don't love him, why would you want to be with him? Maybe I'm way off base, but that's how it seems to me.
2007-04-15 00:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by Elaine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why did you two even bother getting married, you didnt take your relationship seriously, you cheated on him because he cheated on you. when the sex gets bad you bail out on him. of course he cant forgive you, you pretty much told him he sucks in bed lately, yeah thats not good. he cant get that out of his head now. he thinks he sucks in bed the lowest blow you can give him. why not cut your losses and get out of this stupid cheating relationship and be free of each other, you dont love him he doesnt love you( if he cheated three times) , you both deserve to be alone and never marry again, you cant handle it.
2007-04-15 00:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking vows isn't something that's OK, even if he broke his. Totally separate and different issues. Frankly, I doubt your marriage will survive. Even in your post, your whole attitude says. "It was OK for me to cheat, cuz he cheated. And besides, the sex was lousy at home." It ain't EVER ok to cheat. I simply can't see how you folks can ever regain trust in each other, and without trust, I don't see how your marriage can survive.
2007-04-15 01:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just don't get it...how will the two of you ever trust each other again? Isn't that what a relationship is based on? I guess he may be able to forgive you, but will either of you ever forget?
2007-04-15 00:38:23 · answer #11 · answered by LaMariposa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋