how are you a strong person and still be sensitive to others in your life? I think i become too cold?

Question

and calculating, but that is because i dont want to lose my wits like perhaps the person who needs me at the moment. I have a problem recalling to be patient and kind, then i feel really guilty about later.

Answer 1

Determine the difference as far as when you need to be strong and when you need to be sensitive. For instance thats how i do it...im usually strong in my work, my social circle, my health regimen but i know when to put my guard down and be sensitive if i need to be. Its all in how you control your emotions really if you think about it...try it

Answer 2

Ohh. People like you have been a "player" for a long time. When you are young and ambitious, work is created so you develop this corporate warrior persona. and you grow into this expert role of outmaneuvering the weak, keenly sizing up the competition, racking your brains to hone it into the take no prisoners, pushing out the weak, being always on the top.

So. In the process, you become strong. What was lost is the sensitivity, the patience amd the kindness. Yes, That was another you.

How good are you at hanging the working persona by the door when you come in from work? Then take the home persona on and wear it until the next day when you go back to work.

Religion will ground you, if you believe in religion. A deep sense of family values also does the trick. A role model in a mom or dad will take you off your perch when you act too high and mighty. A smart spouse or partner can also do the same. Surround yourself with smarter and bossier people than yourself. Think of youirself as a diamond in the rough. You will shine more amidst the challenges.

Answer 3

The strongest people are totally sensitive to others ,
Like the Dali Lama . . .
Insensitive people are weak , have issues from childhood abuse or other problems , and they advertise their weakness by being rude & cold .

First be truly aware , because some people are just hustlers and users ,
While others are generally good but may be having a bad moment .
Always be civil and courteous , but when you feel a good person needs assistance , render it .
Sooner or later , you will be in need ( everyone develops health issues at some point , evil side effect of being mortal ) ,
And you will appreciate the people who are considerate then .

Answer 4

Wow, you've just echoed my own thoughts!

I've found that drawing a line with people is necessary. I've known many people that have leaned on me too much or people who just don't know how to handle their own stuff or people who just like getting sympathy from others so are always miserable and want nothing more than to whine about it. So I draw lines and am bluntly honest with people.

"If this is your problem, here's a few suggestions to help you solve it." Those are the kind of answers I give when faced with this situation. Sometimes people will find some reason why they can't do this or that to solve their problems and after a few times of that, you realize that they don't want suggestions, they just want sympathy and will just counter every suggestion you give with a negative and usually irrational response. When that happens, I begin to answer as such, "yeah, uh huh, that's a bummer" because 1 - that's what they want to hear or maybe all they can handle right then, 2- your breath of logic will be wasted, 3 - they need to pull themselves out of it and find their own way of dealing with it.

Be patient. Be kind. That's great, it makes you a better person. But also realize that there are some people that just like drama and feeling sorry for themselves and there's not too much you can do about that. I draw a line with people of this type. I'll listen and be patient and kind with each new topic, but only for a little bit. After that, I have to move on and live my life and they have to live theirs. If they want to be miserable, that's their chosen path... but I won't walk with them for long on it. Life's too short for that.

If you let yourself be these people's punching bags or crying tissues for too long, if you bottle up your anger at their continued sorrows, you're bound to lash out and hurt them worse than if you just draw a line with them. Plus, you'll be angry with yourself.

Realize that everyone walks their own path and determines what their own life will be like, for the most part. Be a good friend, but live your life the way that makes you happy and don't try to constantly make theirs... that's what they need to do for their selves.

Answer 5

The question you have posed along with a elaboration needs to be rephrased.Firstly,what makes a person a strong and also sensitive?These are not mutually exclusive traits. keep an open mind and try to act as rationally and humanly as possible.As you grow emotionally, you would learn to strike a better balance in you attitude towards life and people.Should you ever get bogged down beyond control,come back to the basic cosmic law of an output being a function of input. good luck.

Answer 6

That's no small endeavor. Too be strong and sensitive at the same time is quite a balancing act and a noble intention to carry. I know Buddhism and Taoism have a lot to say about this (and probably many other spiritual sources).

I suggest you start cultivating this skill with yourself. You have a noble intention, but can you be patient and gentle with yourself as you explore how to manifest it? If you can be patient and kind to yourself you will be able to offer the same compassion to others.

Answer 7

A "strong person" is one who is strong enough to be gentle. In everything we do, PATIENCE is the key. Understand that you are NOT the one who is going to right all the wrong in the world. You have to acknowledge that YOU, too, have a vulnerable side. You are not going to be able to solve every problem with which you are pesented. When you least expect it, those whom you may consider to be weak will have the solution. You may not HAVE the solution, but you may be the link to the one who does.

If you never acknowledge and let others see that YOU hurt or struggle, and allow someone to help you, how can you expect to understand and be able to help others?

Answer 8

Just picture yourself in the position of another person. Try to feel what they feel. Then think what you will do and ask if they would want your advice.... always ask before you advice someone. You may come out as a know-it-all if you start preaching without anyone asking for your help. Just listen to your conscience on what is the right thing to do in the moment.

Answer 9

Being tough, and being rough are two different styles altogether. When someone is rough, they show one thing, and one thing alone, they are weak. A tough person doesn't have to prove anything, while a rough person is "trying" to prove that they are tough. Being sensitive shows that you aren't afraid to be a good person, at the same time don't be too sensitive or people will take advantage. A tough person, especially ones who have people who know they are tough already, wouldn't need to show off by being rough. Just be cool, relaxed, and as long as you don't push your "sensitivity", you will remain tough, yet a good person.

Answer 10

i know how you feel. I think strong people are really just insecure and guarded ( i can tell you from experiance), so its hard to let your guard down.....ever...so sometimes when someone reaches out to you, you come off as cold, because your really just trying to stay as disconnected from the situation as you possibly can, while still trying to help with the little that you are giving. You always feel bad afterwards but that feeling eventually fades when you realize how much drama you kept yourself out of. I think you should work on letting your guard down a little. Just trying to be more in tune with situations instead of trying to block them out....it takes time but practice makes perfect