We are married for 3 years, dated for 3 years before getting married. no children. I feel that somehow i'm no longer in love with him, but i do love him. Do any of you also feel this in your marriage at some point in time? how do you deal with it?
2007-04-14 15:34:05 · 25 answers · asked by isabella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am in love and love him when i married him.
2007-04-14 15:55:27 · update #1
yes but we start doing more thing together
2007-04-14 15:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by xX-l-Armand-l-Xx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you've settled into a routine and the spark has fizzled. Maybe you no longer appreciate the little things about each other, and just take each other for granted.
You need to find your way back to each other. Be on your best behavior and put your best foot forward like you did when you were dating. Be kind, loving, caring, and respectful of each other. Try to remember what it was that made you fall in love with each other in the first place. Do the things you did when you were dating and first got married--when you were still in love with him.
Inject some variety and spice into the relationship. Do different things, try new things, go away for a few days. Spend some time alone together, just getting to know each other again, away from the daily routine and stresses. Spend quality time together, find out what each other's interests and desires are, and try to fulfill them. Talk about your dreams and plans for the future--hope and dream again.
I hope these suggestions work; good luck.
2007-04-18 22:23:53 · answer #2 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is sort of like a married couple staying together just for the children. This is not good for any of ya'.
Maybe you need to talk to a marriage counselor. There has to be some reason why you are unhappy. Does he treat you differently than he did before he married you? Has your sex life changed? Does he listen like he use to? Does he go out of his way to let you know he heard you or he cares?
Are you feeling depressed? Do you feel unappreciated?
Maybe talking to a counselor, or a friend, or a relative is not such a bad idea. Venting is always a great solution. But the most important thing is to talk to your husband. He could be unaware to what is going on with you. He is not a mind reader. Talk to him. Maybe once things are out in the open you will be able to derive some solutions.
Here is my best advice.....try courting again. Go on dates, write love notes, pick him up in a bar, or try role playing. Think outside of the box.
Remember it takes two. Convey your concerns and start participating!
2007-04-14 23:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by ANJANETTE C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears you have let the spark in your relationship burn-out.
Start doing stuff you did when you dated since you have no kids this should be easy. Go dancing, movies, nice romantic dinner, camping, out with friends. Really start doing stuff together get all wild and crazy like you did when you first met
each other. Hopefully by doing some of these things you will re-ignite the passion in your marriage. It is better to work on your marriage then just to give up really I know I have been married almost 8yrs and know that marriage is no cake-walk.
It is different then dating you must work hard to keep it working you must continue to do stuff as a couple and meet other couples. Really it sounds like your giving up don't be another pathetic statistic fight for your marriage jump your mans bones get those fires burning. Wake up and realize your with a guy who loves you and I should not give up the last 6yrs of my life.
2007-04-14 22:47:33 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably just going thru a "thing" for lack of a better term. As a marriage progresses it sometimes becomes boring. Try to spice it up a little. Go away together for a long weekend or plan a romantic vacation. I bet if he had feelings for another woman you would think differently. I wish you the best of luck with this. Marriage is sacred and so many end in divorce because couples don't try anymore.
2007-04-14 23:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure. The feelings of being in love will come and go. Don't worry. If they're gone today, they'll come back. The main thing is that you still love each other, even if you're not "in love" at the moment. The best thing, I've found, is to just take a little time for yourselves, go on a date, and see what happens. Sometimes just acting like you did when you were in love brings back all the old memories and feelings.
Good luck!
2007-04-14 22:38:55 · answer #6 · answered by dreamed1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All marriages have different stages and it is hard work to get through them and get to the next stage. It is all worth it when you can say you have been married for 20 something years and I love him more today than the day I married him.
2007-04-14 23:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt this way in my first marriage. My first husband and I became like best friends. We still love each other very much and are very close friends, but we were never in love with each other. You can't make yourself feel this for someone. We ended up divorcing because of this reason, which ended up for the best because now I am married to the love of my life. You deserve all the happiness in the world and shouldn't settle for just love... you deserve to feel real true love. It is completely amazing.
2007-04-14 22:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not to late to fall back in love with him but it takes work on both of you,just try to remember what made you fall in love with him in the first place and go from there,talk to you husband communication is the best thing,you have no kids so you two need to go on dates together like old times have some fun together and romance each other candle light dinners,what ever it takes work on it.
2007-04-14 22:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please understand that lifelong love goes through stages. Do not expect that the giddy feelings of first falling in love to stay forever. I read some research that said that that will last roughly for two years. Yet, the commitment you made to each other is forever. Get some of the books that help couples deal with these issues. Check www.family.org to look into such books and programs.
2007-04-14 22:39:27 · answer #10 · answered by Bob T 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This my friend is called the comfort stage welcome! yeah we all get caught up with other things in life whether its for just ourselves being selfcentered or others there has to be a commond ground your young in your marriage doesn't matter how long you dated before the marriage we all need to concentrate on each others feelings keep the lines of communication open no matter what it is little or big and with no kids you all should have plenty of time for each other and friends, growing is the key to a good marriage and trust take it from me 22yrs and counting.good luck.
2007-04-14 22:54:47 · answer #11 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋