should i go back to husband and sister in law?

Question

me and my husband live with my brother his wife and two kids. me and my husband constently fight . my sister in law says things to my husband that i didnt even say and he believes her more than me.Then when my husband comes home from work she tells him that i didnt do anything in the house but watch tv. I work everyday but one day a week. i would come home and clean the house. she works but she dont work that many hours a week.i do so much for them and they dont appreciate it. i just feel that me and my husband need a place of our own. i tried to explain that to him but he wouldnt listen. we fight every weekend when my husband is off work and half of the fights my sister in law starts. i finally got fed up and left my husband. now he wants to work things out but he does not want to move out of my sister in laws house. i want to work things out with him but i dont want to be back in the same hole that i was in. i dont know what to do. i just need some advice. could you give me some?

Okay this one is for everyone who listen to sondra she never stated all the facts about her marriageso anyone who saying she should leave her husband needs to ask her why she lives with her brother because they cant afford there own place cause hse spends to much money

Answer 1

you guys should have your own house.

you did the right thing by getting out of there. but why would he believe her over you? and even if it were true that you only watch tv, so what, it's none of her business.

if you go back, it will most likely be there same.. so she moves out or you do.

good luck.

Answer 2

Dear Sondra,

Marriages start out with two people, not three or four. It's good that you left that house. You don't need a sister-in-law telling you what to do, or telling your husband what she thinks. The fact that your husband is more willing to believe her than he is to believe you, says a LOT. Are you listening?

Also, since he had no place to take you after the marriage but to his brother's home, should tell you that he is not a good provider and you need to ditch him...unless he is willing to stand on his own two feet and start again with you in a place of your own.

Good luck, you're going to need it.

Answer 3

Unless he is willing for the two of you to have your own place.....I would not take him back. I would not go back to where your sister in law likes to to get your guys started. You cannot have a successful marriage if you are having to live with other people. You need to be alone and together.....what does your brother say about all this?

Any way....at this point it is not an option.....he either moves out of the house with your brother and his wife and the 2 of you start a life of your own.....or he stays where he is until your brother kicks him out......I bet they are just as ready to get rid of you guys as you are to leave. I am sure that they would like to have some privacy too.

Answer 4

ok so lets do this.lets continue to see him but dont move back in. start to have him and you save money so yo ucan get a place of your own. who cares if you sit around the house and do nothing. if you help pay rent, buy food and once in a while make dinner for the family, there should be no problems. sit down and talk to your hubby and let him know that nothing should come between the two of you, he should believe you because you are his wife. he needs to understand this. if she wants to tell your hubby stuff then tell her hubby stuff. do the same thing she is doing. if she wants to play that game lets play. no woman should come before you and he is making her word come before you. thats not right. when the weekend comes go out and leave the house, go to the park or a fair or somewhere and try to spend all day out. rent a motel for the night and have a fun day together. you dont have to stay home allthe time. make dates with your hubby without her being involved and dont let her change your plans. good luck.

Answer 5

If he's unwilling to leave, then you have your answer.

He should be all too happy to leave and you guys getting your own place. Sounds like responsibility is scary for him.

But, what you should also consider is that this sis-in-law will always be a thorn in your butt. And she will be for the duration of your marriage. Chances are, she will always be causing tension between you and your husband.
Is her BS worth all the grief you're feeling? And if your hubby isn't going to side with you and tell her to butt out, then you are single handily fighting an uphill battle.

Answer 6

I think you need to follow your gut. Your marriage is probably worth saving but if you can afford it youll have a better chance out of your sister-in-laws house. Marriage is difficult enough without extra people involved. You should sit down and talk calmly in a neutral place, not where you or your husband are living and tell him how you feel and what your concerns are.

Answer 7

If he wants to work things out bad enough he will find away to get you and him a place of your own so you want have to put up with all the bull that tears your marriage apart,sometimes the worse thing you can do is move in with family,I know sometime you have to when thing that you can't control happens but not long.

Answer 8

I don't think that I would go back to him unless you got your own place. It is very hard for 2 separate family units to live in the same house without some type of power struggle going on.

Answer 9

No house is big enough for two families...if you want things to work, get your own place! Life is just to short to be fighting all of the time.

Answer 10

I have some suspicians that your sister in law maybe wants your husband for herself, either that or she is just trying to force you out of her house. . Just tell your husband that you still love him and that you want to work things out as well, but not in your brother's house. If he has any love for you at all he should be out with you trying to find another place to live.