can u plz proof read this...?

Question

Samira: newscaster
Leonid: Interviewer
Demet: Russian navy official


Samira:
Greetings! Today we will be discussing The Kursk, a nuclear submarine which took part in exercises in the Barents Sea and supposedly has been sunken. Consequently, the gravity was pulling down on it than buoyancy was pulling up.
The ballast has to discharge its air in order to sink, for this process; this means that there was something mistaken with the ballast. Administrators believe that there were no nuclear weapons on The Kursk and say that the submarine’s nuclear reactor was shut down. Leonid will have more information on this.

Leonid:
Thank you.
I am here with a Russian navy official, Brad McCoy. Now, Mr. McCoy, how depth did the submarine sink? Were any bodies discovered?


Demet:
Well, The Kursk was found to the sea bed at a depth of 108 meters, off Severomorsk.
The airlock below the submarine was found to be flooded with water, but no bodies were discovered. The Russian navy officially had announced that all 118 crew were dead.

Leonid:
What did you think happened to the submarine that made it sink? Was there something wrong with the ballast?

Demet:
The cause that The Kursk sank was because that there was something wrong with the ballast. I actually had heard that the submarine has crushed with an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean. That iceberg had perforated a hole in the ballast of the submarine. For this reason all the air and compressed air to come out of the submarine. These made the gravity pull down on the submarine more than buoyancy. So the submarine sank.

Leonid:
Well thank you for your time Mr. McCoy.
Now back to Samira.

Samira:
Thank you, Leonid.

Now I am sorry to say that the submarine has been under for too long and we have lost communication with the crew. We believe they have drowned by now. There was no more that the rescue team could do.

We will be back after this…

Answer 1

Consequently doesn't make any sense, try phrasing it "The cause of this was the pull of gravity down on it was greater than the buoyancy holding it up." Also, there was something mistaken "for" the ballast instead of "with". How "deep" did the the submarinse sink, not "depth" or you can say, "to what depth" The Kursk was found "at a depth of" instead of "to the sea bed at a depth" Take out "had" it should just read "the Russian navy announced" What "do" you think happened, not "what did". Demet's first sentence in his second paragraph makes no sense. It should say "The Kursk sank because there was something wrong with the ballast." The verbs do not match in his second sentence, it should say "I actually heard that the submarine crashed into an iceberg". The next sentence should say "The iceberg" not "that iceberg" The next sentence is a fragment, never start a sentence with for. It should say, Because of this collision, all the compressed air leaked out of the submarine. All the air and compressed air is redundant. The next sentence should say "This" made the gravity...not "these" The last sentence is a fragment, I would combine it with the sentence before it and say "This made the gravity pull down the submarine, causing it to sink.

Answer 2

Samira: Newscaster
Leonid: Interviewer
Demet: Russian navy official


Samira:
Greetings! Today we will be discussing The Kursk, a nuclear submarine which took part in exercises in the Berring Sea and supposedly has been sunk due to the gravity pulling down on it and the buoyancy pulling it up. Consequently,
the ballast has to discharge its air in order to sink, for this process; this means that there was something mistaken with the ballast. Administrators believe that there were no nuclear weapons on The Kursk and say that the submarine’s nuclear reactor was shut down. Leonid will have more information on this.

Leonid:
Thank you.
I am here with a Russian navy official, Brad McCoy. Now, Mr. McCoy, how did the submarine sink? Were any bodies discovered?


Demet:
Well, The Kursk was found on the sea bed at a depth of 108 meters, off Severomorsk.
The airlock below the submarine was found to be flooded with water, but no bodies were discovered. A Russian navy official had announced that all 118 crew were dead.

Leonid:
What did you think happened to the submarine that made it sink? Was there something wrong with the ballast?

Demet:
What caused the Kursk to sink was that there was something wrong with the ballast. It is believed that the submarine collided with an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean. That iceberg perforated a hole in the ballast of the submarine. This caused all the air to come out of the submarine, so the submarine sank.

Leonid:
Well thank you for your time Mr. McCoy.
Now back to Samira.

Samira:
Thank you, Leonid.

Now I am sorry to say that the submarine has been under for too long and we have lost communication with the crew. We believe they have drowned by now. There was no more that the rescue team could do.

We will be back after this…

Answer 3

Can you please proofread this?

Samira: Newscaster
Leonid: Interviewer
Demet: Russian Navy Official


Samira:
Greetings! Today we will be discussing the Kursk, a nuclear submarine which took part in exercises in the Barents Sea and supposedly sank. For the Kursk to sink, gravity must have been pulling down on the submarine more than buoyancy was pulling it up. The ballast has to discharge its air in order for the submarine to sink. For this process to have failed, it means that there was something mistaken with the ballast. Administrators believe that there were no nuclear weapons on the Kursk and say that the submarine’s nuclear reactor was shut down. Leonid will have more information on this.

Leonid:
Thank you.
I am here with a Russian navy official, Mr. Demet. Now, Mr. Demet, to what depth did the submarine sink? Were any bodies discovered?

Demet: [Mr. McCoy?]
Well, the Kursk was found on the sea bed at a depth of 108 meters, off Severomorsk. The airlock below the submarine was found to be flooded with water, but no bodies were discovered. The Russian Navy had officially announced that all 118 crew were dead.

Leonid:
What did you think happened to the submarine that made it sink? Was there something wrong with the ballast?

Demet:
The reason the Kursk sank was because there was something wrong with the ballast. I actually had heard that the submarine has collided with an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean. That iceberg had perforated the hull and punched a hole in the ballast tanks of the submarine. For this reason, all the compressed air in the ballast tanks rushed out of the submarine. This enabled the force of gravity pull down on the submarine, since the Kurst lost its buoyancy due to the destruction of its ballast tanks. So the submarine sank.

Leonid:
Well thank you for your time Mr. Demet. [Commander Demet? Captain Demet? Officer Demet?] [who is Mr. McCoy?]
Now back to Samira.

Samira:
Thank you, Leonid.

At this time, I am sorry to say, the submarine has been submerged for too long and we have lost all communication with the crew, who is believed to have drowned. There was no more that the rescue team could do.

We will be back after this…


You're welcome.

Answer 4

You have a good start but let me show you this.
1.) It may be nicer if you say Good Morning, if it is daytime rather than saying Greetings!
2.)Today we start our program by discussing The Kursk, a nuclear submarine which took part in exercises (when were the exercises today? last week? fill in the right word here) in the Barents Sea, has reportedly sank.
Consequently is not the word you want here. The words flow better without it.
the gravity was pulling down then buoyancy was .....

3. at the end when you say everyone is drowned, you can say this instead-> Now I am sorry to say, the submarine rescue crew is reporting to us, in spite of their best efforts to save the crew, all lives were lost, there are no survivors".

Answer 5

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