Where would you draw the line between a man disciplining his wife and a man abusing his wife?

Answer 1

Okay...sigh...I'll say it again. Domestic Discipline is not abuse. There is no comparison of Domestic Discipline to abuse. I did a survey recently of Christian Domestic Discipline couples and NONE of the wives felt abused or afraid of their husbands (they did fear spankings and they are supposed to).

As long as the man loves his wife as himself and recognizes she is the weaker vessel, he's not going to cross the line into abuse. As long as he's disciplining her out of love for her, to help her become a better person, or to protect her or their marriage, he's not abusing her.

Women differ in what is effective. What might seem abusive to me might not seem abusive to you in your marriage. But I love what Pastor Bob points out. He says in the Bible, the Jews limited their strokes of a whip to 39 because to go over 40 was to demean your brother. Of course strokes of a whip are going to be much more severe than a hand or paddle or even a belt. I think each husband should pray and think carefully about how much they will administer before carrying it out.

Answer 2

Discipline:
1 : PUNISHMENT
2 obsolete : INSTRUCTION
3 : a field of study
4 : training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character
5 a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c : SELF-CONTROL
6 : a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity

Abuse:
1 : a corrupt practice or custom
2 : improper or excessive use or treatment : MISUSE
3 obsolete : a deceitful act : DECEPTION
4 : language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily
5 : physical maltreatment

DISCIPLINE is designed to help a person control and change their behavior. Its purpose is to encourage moral, physical and intellectual development and a sense of responsibility in the individual. Ultimately, the person will do the right thing, not because they fear external reprisal, but because they have internalized a standard initially presented by the one who applies the discipline. In learning to rely on their own resources rather than those of others, the person should gain self-confidence and a positive self-image.

ABUSE, on the other hand, is characterized by its orientation toward satisfying needs or expressing the negative feelings of a stronger person over a weaker one. While it may result in positively changing behavior, often the improvement is temporary and followed by a later acting out of the hatred, revenge and hostility they have bottled up. To avoid further abuse, an person may lie, run away or exhibit other forms of avoiding responsibility. Abuse tends to damage the self-esteem of all concerned..

ZERO TOLERANCE FOR ANY FORM OF ABUSE.

Seriously though, I am a feminist who believes both partners are equal in a committed relationship. Their roles are complementary but equal. However, when it comes to a "draw" on something under discussion, someone has to make the final decision. Unless he is really really REALLY wrong, he can have the deciding word. There is no reason for it to become physical.

Discipline should never come into it if you are adults.

Besides, I have heard that wives today are well leash and house-trained and know how to serve their men a gooood meal of kibbles and bits!

Answer 3

I'm assuming you aren't talking about the "discipline" sort of role-playing, sexual game that some people play.

If a man uses any sort of emotional coercion to get his wife to behave in a certain way, it's still abuse. Just because there's no hitting involved, doesn't make it less so.

There is no "discipline" among married adults. You discipline your dog if he poops on the carpet. What adults have is co-operation, compromise, and mutual respect.

If you are asking this Question in relation to a real-life situation, the wife is being abused and should seek help.

Answer 4

This is outrageous and unacceptable behaviour towards any woman. You do not discipline a wife. A wife is not some slave you can discipline or beat up. I pray for the women who suffer, and give my blessing. I feel sympathy for the woman who is afraid to live because of abuse, and one that does not have a man who loves her. In fact, if you harm her in any way, you know where the line "deserves" to be drawn? Right on your chest with a sharp blade. Not that I would be inclined to. I would personally beat up any man that I saw harming a woman. And I'd report it to the police.

Answer 5

Give the man a break, this is what happened earlier.

Dear Zog,
I'll break this to you gently, you have been asleep for a long time.
We found you in a cave in a big block of ice and thawed you out.
Things have changed a bit in the meantime.
I'm sorry about that favorite Woolly Mammoth Steak you
ordered, it has been off the menu for a while now.
I brought you this instead, don't look at it so suspiciously,
it is barbecued, we've discovered this thing called fire.
Let me explain, see, this is a box of matches.......
Now try one yourself.............and let go before the flame
reaches your fingertips next time.............try again.......................
No you idiot !!.........don't put the flame back in the little box!!.

This is going to be tough, if we put this dude back in society
eventually,he's an accident waiting to happen Heaven knows
what stupid things he'll do or say.
Of all the bl****y iceman that could be found frozen we end
up with the prehistoric version of Bozo the Clown.

Answer 6

A grown man does not discipline a grown woman. She is a grown-up for heaven's sake! If he doesn't like something that she is doing, then he talks to her, as a grown up, and then she decides whether she agrees, if something should change, etc. Sheeeeeeeesh, it's those kind of attitudes that make me despise some men.

Answer 7

What do you mean disciplineing his wife, you disciplin your children not your wife. Verbal abuse and physical abuse is wrong anywhere in the US.

Answer 8

What makes u think you have the right to descipline your wife? Are you a mormon or something? You don't discipline your wife pal, she is your mate not your child. Im scared for your wife. You have a serious misconception of the role of a husband. He is to lead, but not be a dictator or disciplinarian.

Answer 9

discipline? are you the father or the husband? you discipline your kids and have a discussion with your wife? hope you are gay cause i don't know of a woman that would put up with that attitude! sorry buddy

Answer 10

Careful Dude, Some women will go "Lorainne Bobbitt" on you for thinking that you have the right to discipline your wife.

Answer 11

In this day and age you'd think no one would ask this question. A man has no right to discipline his wife. She is a free person, even when married.