What's the best way to leave an abusive relationship?

Question

I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, and am in an abusive relation. Verbal, & Physical. He keeps threatening me and calling me names, and he pushes me around. I'm unhappy, miserable, and depressed. And I feel that things are only gonna get worse. He has flipped me of matrasses, thrown a pair of steel toe boots at me and busted open my ankle. And just recently (still have the bruise) he shoved me through the house with force, and down the steps. Almost causing me to break my tail bone. My dog has the really thick ceramic food bowls, and I fell into that, and now I have a bruise and a knot on my butt. I couldn't sit down for a week, and it still hurts and it's been a little over 2 weeks I think, if that long. Should I leave when he's not here, or what I don't know. I appreciate the help. Thank you. I do have somewhere to go. I'm gonna go to my dad's.

Answer 1

That is terrible. You are right, you should leave, but I would recomend having your dad and even a few other witnesses come over to help you and be there in case he suddenly shows up because it can get real ugly real fast.

I have worked with a lot of womens shelters and I highly recomend you call one in your area and get some advice from them rather than counting on random people online.

You owe it to yourself and you child to get out of there though, you both deserve a better life and he will never change if he is that bad.

I have a lot of experience with these types professionally and as a big guy who goes on house rescues for the womens shelters because I used to be a cop for a while before I got into psychology.

Once you get out of there, and be sure to take anything you care about now, don't put it off, then consider talking to the police and prepare for getting a divorce.

I wish I could offer a cheerier picture but people like him never change.

Answer 2

Baby, this is a certain type of man, he has a psychotic disorder, so it is not your mistake. The most important to get self esteem. Don't blame yourself for being with him, or for leaving him or for not leaving him earlier. Many woman are in the same situation, too many men walking around with the same attitude. All the others before are right, go as soon as you can. Call the hotline, plan ahead the whole thing, the money part and everything, and make sure to act like always, that he could not even guess it.
When you made it safe: No matter how he begs or what he promises, never go back! Sad to say, but most of them cannot change, even if they really want. Don't take chances.

Answer 3

Pack up your things, call your dad and have him come over to help you move. With your dad there, the boyfriend will likely behave, and I don't think your dad is going to let him hurt you or your baby. If the boyfriend works, do it while he is at work, there will be less flack, and you won't have the confrontation. It is important that you follow through with the move, you know that what he is doing to you is wrong, and your child may be at risk as well. Nobody should ever "put up with" that kind of behaviour, forget the physical pain, the emotional pain is just as bad, and lingers long after the bruise goes away. Move to your dad's place, don't date for awhile and work on building your self esteem. When you are healthy and happy, then start dating again, you'll make better choices, and you'll learn alot about yourself by staying alone for awhile. Your daughter deserves to have a strong, independent mom, one who will teach her how to avoid relationships that are loaded and ready to explode. Take the dog with you too, he'll likely abuse the animal also, and that's just plain wrong.

Answer 4

Oh darling! i'm so sorry! This guy is a monster! He can't be around you, and think of your baby! She would be better of with no dad, than being raised in a home like that!
Arange a time and a date for your dad to stop by an dpick you up. Then tell your husband/boyfriend that you have had enough of his behavior and that he is scaring you, and feel that your daughter doesn't deserve a dad like him. Say this when you see your dad pulling up in the drive, so you have a quick escape when things go nasty. Don't say anything back to him, just leave him with that. Have a bag packed but hidden, so he doesn't get funny. Don't bring everything because you need to dash, so pick up stuff, and baby then run! Then when with your dad, get a job (asuming you don't) and get a sitter or your mum/dad to look after the baby (or a nursery/pre-school) and save up the money so you can get a small flat suitable for you and your baby, and so you can live with food and clothing...
I wish you the best of luck!!!!!! xxx

Answer 5

I've seen too much of this in my lifetime, and eventually the abused spouse gets to a point where they realize, "I am a human being, and I don't deserve this". Sounds like you've reached that point. Your wondering, should I leave? You should have already left, and there should be skid marks in the driveway from you having peeled rubber getting away. Listen to the advice of some of these other people. Get out, get a restraining order, call the hot-line, go to a battered women's shelter, or some place else where you know you will be reasonable safe, seek help from a Church.
Once a person starts mistreating their spouse, something has gone terribly wrong in the relationship. Don't ever let someone lay a hand on you and you brush it off. You have to love yourself, just like God loves you, and trust me, he wouldn't be too happy with your hubby.

Answer 6

Your Dad's is somewhere.
You have to move when he is not there, for safety reasons.
You do not deserve this, specially your baby. You need to file a restraining order against him, when you move to your Dad's house and please do this for your baby. He needs you and if you stay it will not get any better.
File for financial help while you get on you feet. You have to do it and don't look back and do not and I mean DO NOT go back with him, because he will come crying to tell you I am sorry, I will change, I love you and that will touch your hear, but he will not change (maybe for just a few days or months) after that he will be the same.
If he loved you, he will not abuse you in any way, shape, or form. You know that, you won't want to heart him, even when he hurts you, Why? because you love him and is not worth it. What is worth the world is your baby.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

You really need to get out of there ASAP. When he leaves for work, move immediately. Then, go to the police station and have them take pictures of the bruises and then go to court and file for a restraining order. It will never stop no matter how many times he say he won't do it again. He will destroy you emotionally as well as the physical abuse that you are going thru.

I'm speaking from experience. Been out of the relationship/marriage for 19 years.

Answer 8

Kick Him Out, And Stay At Your Parents Or Friends House For A Few Days, And If He Starts A Fuss Call The Police! xxx J

Answer 9

Notify your local authorities and press charges of domestic violence against him. No man has any right for any excuse to manhandle a woman. You may not be safe at your Dads, so notify a local womans help group and theyll hideyou and your daughter and helpyou get out of this mess. Notify your dad of what you are going to do but dont tell him which one and that you may not be able to contact him for awhile for this to work. You need to make contact ASAP before something really bad happens. Get your dad to watch the dog if needbe so he wont take it out on the dog. Good luck

Answer 10

. If you have access to the internet you can see if there are any domestic violence shelters, in your area, that can take you in. Leave for your daughter's sake, because by staying, she is being placed in an environment that shows its okay to treat women like he treats you...and its not okay.

Take time to start gettting all the information together and then just leave. No one deserves to be treated like he treats you. You also have the option, if you so choose, to press charges against him for domestic violence.

At the end of the day, its your life and you have a choice to be happy and to find someone who will treat you well. It sounds like that is not happening now. Best of luck finding your safe place