I struggle with this as there are children involved but the Ex won't keep his nose out of our business. I have pretty much had enough of the drama! How does your Partners Ex affect your realationship and how have you dealt with it?
2007-04-14 11:38:17 · 14 answers · asked by Buddy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sometimes.....easiest to let it go
2007-04-14 11:41:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sam h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is 3 major cases, generally mixed :
1 - your partners Ex is obsessed or any other mentally deranged persons
2 - your partner did not manage this relationship, and let it became an "unclosed file"
3 - He or she is right and something goes wrong in his or her children's life ; at your home.
Way to avoid dramas :
1 - have the illness recognized, then have it cured.
That is a real problem. It could be dangerous. And to be frank not very comfortable.
It is a drama by itself - containment to one person is the first thing to do.
2 - have your partner clear about this "ex" !!!
Are there any rules, frontier, beetween "their" past life, your new life ; their old "home", and yours.
What your partner must do is to establish limits, to cut out. It does not mean to be rude, only rigorous.
3 - The question is not to know if the children are really in danger or not. Obviously if it was the case you would not have any problem of "ex" but a problem with children care.
The question is how to make it good enough for the "ex". In the gentle polite way that civilized human beings use in conflicts : asking questions and caring about the answers.
That means that you or your partner should "put your noses" in his/her life, and say you are doing it. for the good of the children of course.
Then some compromises should be find, not easily but finally.
2007-04-14 12:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always remember..."Nothing personal, just business". Treat the ex like a business partner. You don't talk about personal stuff, only talk about the business, which would be the kids. It takes two people to play a game. Don't get caught up in it. As long as you guys aren't doing anything illegal or immoral, let the ex say whatever they want. Just don't take it personally, and definitely don't play games. Be very "matter of fact" about everything when dealing with the ex. Remember, you have a life, even if the ex doesn't.
2007-04-14 11:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by Lance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with the ex is a modern phenom because toooo many people have kids then get a divorce.
Too late too turn back the clock now tho . . .
Lots of people may stick their noses around ,
Just treat them like a non-existent entity when they get in that mode .
Do not answer questions nor respond .
Walk to the other room while wondering out loud what movie Netflix shipped or something .
If they persist in yakking about your business , the next response is ,
"Oh , look at the time , it really is time for you to go now . Thanks for stopping by ".
Don't get into the drama dance , skip it and tell your partner that unless it specifically relates to the children , that she should skip it too .
2007-04-14 11:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IS the ex the father of the kids in question and if the ex is nosing in on your personal affairs then they need to be put in their place. You need your partner to back you up so you don't look like the bad guy. If your partners ex is say wanting to know where you went shopping or what your doing and it does not affect the kids then tell them to back off.
2007-04-14 11:43:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will affect your relationship up to the point that you or your partner allows it.
It is an Ex- not a actual relationship and it obviously did not work, so this ex's work so hard to brake your relationship because he/she might not be happy and they don't want the other person to be happy.
The less communication you have with this person the better, he/she just need to pick the kids up and bring them back, no need to make any long conversation.
When people are not happy, specially ex's, they work so hard for the other person not to be happy either and at times they us the children as their weapons with bullets of un-happiness
2007-04-14 11:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by helenmgem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my partner has an ex and they had a daughter together about 10 years ago and when we first got together 9 years ago, I had to be on my toes constantly as far as the ex went. Not because she wanted my partner back in her life, but because she was constantly making my partner feel guilty about not being a full time parent anymore and harping on her about the time she spent with their daughter, etc. It was drama central for months. Finally, I couldn't take it and I had a talk with the ex and I told her that although I understood her frustration, it was her decision initially that caused the breakup and that the fallout was that my partner couldn't be there 100% of the time like she was used to. It also meant that she couldn't hold the child over her head as a reward for doing as she told her. I mean, for awhile we were dropping everything to run when she called....just so she wouldnt lose the opportunity to be with her daughter...it was overwhelming. I wish you luck..just be open and communicate your needs and expectations...
2007-04-14 11:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by usmcmama826 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the reality of it is that you may not be invited to everything. If the ex is hosting something, and doesn't feel comfortable including you, it's her right. If your partner doesn't stand up for you and push to have you included, you have no say in it and you're just going to have to put your big girl panties on and don't stress it. I'm divorced. I include my bf in things that are child-oriented. I will NOT include my ex's gf in things that are child oriented that I sponsor. There is bad blood between her and me and I don't want to go there with the kids around. Luckily she lives out of area, and respects me and the kids to not make a scene, but I wouldn't include her. Now, if my ex were to make a stink about it, I would probably capitulate, but I wouldn't be happy about it one bit... of course, my ex probably thinks the same about my bf, and my ex chooses to not be an idiot about it.
2016-05-20 00:39:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby Mama Drama..sadly, as long as ur with him he's always gonna be apart of her life somehow b/c of the children. Learn to accept this, and hope she'll get better, or move on.
2007-04-14 11:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife works with one of my ex girlfriends. They get along fine. We are still friends.
2007-04-14 11:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by a_poor_misguided_soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes my dad got a divorice frm mi mom so i live with my dad and she bothers us , { our our family a lot and she is bypolar and is totaly mest up and i like her but i dont think icould forgive her for what she did 2 my twin } ps we were abused bye her , ya she is an acohalic but now i have a wonderful stepmom who i love she is my mom
2007-04-14 11:46:33 · answer #11 · answered by Leann W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋