I dated an Indian guy for almost 2 years. Before me, he was with an Indian girl who loved him like anything. He promised her and her family marriage, had sex with her, and then came to the U.S. and cheated on her a lot. She never knew the truth about what he did, and he made her think that everything was all her fault. The poor girl still cries for him years later.
After I had been with him for almost 2 years, I found out he was a cheater and how he would meet girls online, become friends with them and fly to see them for the weekend for sex. He's been doing this for years. I'm the only one who knows. His family has no idea. They arranged a marriage for him at the end of this year, and I don't want him to get married! He doesn't deserve it. He's already hurt enough women in his life.
What should I do? I could write a letter to his parents but I don't want to hurt them. They didn't do anything wrong. But I think they are the only people he might listen to. Please help.
2007-04-14 10:52:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'll say such people should be brought to books. If no legal charge for cheating can be made against him but morally he has cheated two of you & is getting ready for maybe third one now. Even yesterday in a yahoo question I was telling someone not to trust a person who has habit of cheating & so I say for your query too. Such a man has no right to spoil life of another innocent lady whom he can again cheat & desert if he finds another lady. If you inform this thing to not his parents but to the parents of that lady you will be doing great work by saving an innocent soul being cheated by this fellow. Such man deserves no WIFE as such he should be socially boycotted by all. I hope ladies here will agree with me, after all I’m an Indian & a father of a married daughter myself.
2007-04-14 19:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course you don't tell.
I'm sorry you got hurt.
Arranged marriages are quite different to western marriages - they aren't based on love, they are usually based on status, wealth and parental connections. I suspect it is probably common for Indian men to explore their sexuality before heading into a marriage (especially one forced on by their parents).
If you write to his parents I doubt they will take you seriously. What do young people do? They try to have lots of sex. This isn't anything revolutionary - its hormones. Also, I'm not sure its any of your business (or their business). Just because you got hurt doesn't mean you should hurt people back. If he's old enough to get married then he is old enough to ignore his parents.
Parents usually side with their own children. They will probably be angry at you and listen to his side of the story and believe him anyway.
My advice would be to try to get over him and remember there are plenty of good guys in the world :-)
2007-04-14 11:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an AH!!
He should not be allowed to ruin an innocent person's life.
However be aware that whatever comes out from your mouth sounds like vengeful lies from a jilted or rejected lover.
His parents will want him married whether he is a casanova or not. They will probably say he will settle down and (miraculously) be a good man once a good wife comes into his life.
If you can inform his wife to BE, if you can get to her, if you can secretly contact and warn her, then you maybe onto something. Still, she may run to him with the letter/email and he will again reassure her that you're a jealous ex. Then you are in the doghouse in this scenario too!
Well, choose wisely. And not out of any residual feelings of rejection or anger.
2007-04-14 11:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by RealChic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recently an Indian film in English came. London....(don't remember the name) with Anantmahadevan in the hero's role. Almost similar story like this. Its better that you get the phone number of the girl and call her up and talk to her. Let her know the truth and let her decide what to do. You tell the girl not to involve you in this matter. You should go away from this rotten egg and start your life anew. Keep your local police informed of this act of yours. So that in case your b/f tries to harm you in any way, your FIR will come in handy. Be brave. Useless persons like this should be treated in a way they deserve. They should be trashed.
2007-04-15 21:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by sunilbernard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I really would not inform his parents, because I don't think they would believe you anyway. He would lie his way out of it calling you a nut and a psycho...typical of liars and cheats. If he ever found out that you told his parents or the girl he is going to marry, this man could be capable of violence and your life could be in danger because he has alot to lose. In their culture they do as their told by their parents. I realize that you want to right a wrong, and let everyone know what a terrible immoral man he is, but there are risks to it, and I really advise you not to get involved. If you wrote a letter anonymously, he would know, and come after you. It seems like he likes to keep two lives. One for his family and one for the evil and immorality that is inside of him. Creeps like him eventually are found out, it is just a matter of time. If I were you, steer clear of this man, don't let him involve himself in your life in any way, and even if you have to move away, I would. Start a new life and move on from this unfortunate experience.
2007-04-14 11:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mind your own business...no parent is going to believe you anyway, the son will deny all you say. What makes you think they will believe you? They won't , you will look like a bitter hag...hang it up and move along on your way. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself here, and you didn't make a very good choice with this guy. Keep your eyes open the next time around before you fall for a guy.
2007-04-14 11:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. this got me thinking.What isyour position after he marries? Is this some kind of getting back to him? Anyways I do hope girls aremore careful nowadays and not fall for those sweet talkers. If they agree tohave sex with a guy who they just met through the internet then I am not very sure about their character. Hope everything turns out well
2007-04-17 10:12:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, you will be doing the right thing by telling his parents the truth and saving that innocent girl from a failure marriage
once a cheater is always a cheater...so save the innocent girl
you seem like a kind and nice person so good luck to you in this and i hope you find a better man for you
2007-04-14 11:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by Princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell the girl's parents. Why would they want their daughter to marry a philanderer, unless they don't care and want her married to his family and not to him as is sometimes the case in arranged marriages.
Find some of his victims if you can to help you tell the story.
This guy SHOULD NOT be married
2007-04-14 11:13:06 · answer #9 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At our age don't bother writing his parents, you sound as if your still in love with him and this is a way in your mind to make him suffer for what he has done to you. I highly doubt he will listen to his parents if he is such a good con with women. It is best for you to let go and let him do his thing, which he will anyways. Move forward and not backward. You have learned a good lesson from this man, so next time you will not have to go through this.
2007-04-14 11:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋