I've been having loads of problems with my friends lately. It all started when we were going to go on a school trip and they decided to go in a room, excluding me so I had to bunk with a girl I barely know. They totally ignored me the whole trip, except when their shower was broken and they wanted to use mine. When we came back they continued ignoring two of my other friends and me, and when we confronted them they said we were the ones excluding them, I've tried to be as nice as I can, and I forgave them but I just found out they've been meeting up with new people and going out all the time without calling me even once to ask If I wanted to go out. They're always whispering and don't tell me anything anymore. If I lose these friends, I won't have many left. Although I am moving to a different country this summer, so they won't have to put up with me much longer. Should I keep trying or just give up?
2007-04-14 10:44:24 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
sorry, didn't realise it was so long...hope you can be bothered to read it...
2007-04-14 10:45:28 · update #1
Best thing to do is get rid of them. If they were friends then they wouldnt treat you like that. I moved to America from the UK and you soon realize who your real friends are. Out of about 20 ppl i thought were good friends only a couple turned out to be.
If they do something disloyal get rid of them. Even once because you know you cant trust them
2007-04-14 15:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by Blink-Monkey-Blink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not "giving up" but facing the truth that your friends change over time. Having a few friends that you have a deep connection with is worth much more than a few casual friends any day. It hurts when you have more invested or value the friendship more than they do, but you can never force them to be your friend.
If you have a particular friend in that group that hurts to lose more than the rest, I would suggest privately talking with them and just explaining how you value them and is there anything that you have done to drive them away. BE CAREFUL NOT TO LAY BLAME ("you did this", etc). Just lay it out there and see the response. Maybe touch upon the fact that you want them to be a part of your last few months, but be careful not to put on a guilt trip or open yourself up too much.
That said, if they are "catty" = forget them!
Good luck.
2007-04-14 10:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't get friends either. Frankly I would move on and find friends who are not so moody. You got better things to do with your life then worry about wether or not your fiends are really your friends. I have been through it. The two girls I had in my wedding party I no longer talk to. One was my best friend and the other the next in line. My best friend finally called me after about 5 mths of not talking and me wondering why and she told me it was about a conversation I had with her sister. Now I didn't say anything bad to he sister that you would loose a friendship over plus her sister exagerated a thing or to. But anyhow I apologized for what I said if it hurt or feelings and thought we were good. We talked on the phone quite a bit but my 3 child was born in June and she has made no effort to come in see him and the last time I talked to her was in Sept. and I had to call her twice to get her to call me back. The other girl believe or not got together with my husbands brother and they are now married and you would think we would be closer then ever but that couldn't be more wrong. We even had a talk a year ago and things got alittle better but then got worse. Any way it seems no matter what a person does you can't please every one and if your friends don't want to be your friend then why would you want to be theirs. There are plenty of friends in the sea. Good luck!
2007-04-14 11:00:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, sounds like these "friends" of yours do nothing but cause you grief. If I were you, I'd dump them and find some people that truly care about you. I've had friends like that before, and it isn't fun when you find out that you're being excluded and you only think that they are your friends.
Since then, I've met new people that are really cool, have a lot in common with me, and actually care about me. And it's awesome because now I have people I can depend on and hang around with and feel good around. Whether it's guys or girls, its always nice to have friends that truly care about you.
So I'd just stop hanging around with that crowd. They obviously don't seem to be interested much in being your friend. Try to meet new people, or become better friends with people you already know. Or, even better, a combination of both.
Good luck
2007-04-14 10:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Similar thing happened to me when i was at school. I kept my dignity (by not fighting, shouting, arguing). I began to become friendly with other people in my Year. Slowly but surely I began making new and better friends. This suited me just fine because eventually 2 girls from my original 'crowd' came back to me and showed me more respect than ever. 7 years on, I'm very happy with my life, as I have high self-esteem and self-respect. Those 'cows' from school are long gone and the 'new' friends are still by my side.
Take home message for you is: always have more respect and LOYALTY for yourself because the best person to look out for is YOU YOU YOU
Hope that helps!
2007-04-15 11:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by Farah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell them to p*** off! You don't need friends like these! It doesn't matter how many friends you have as long as the ones you do have are good ones. Why bother trying to be friends with people who treat you like that? As you said, you're moving this summer so don't waste your last few months with those spiteful girls, get out there and enjoy what time you have left with your true friends!
2007-04-14 10:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by laura231004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and talk to them, if there has been a misunderstanding, such as both thinking the other is being "off" you may be able to sort it out. Even if you are moving you will still want to keep in touch with your old mates. If they are still being unfriendly, forget them and look forward to all the new friends you WILL make in your new area. I know this may sound kinda fairytale stuff but maybe they are acting this way because they are going to miss you and don't know how to tell you and don't want to hurt you, you know the old saying is true, "you always hurt the one you love". Good luck and Bon Voyage.
2007-04-14 10:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by Patsyanne 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes,be strong and stand up to them,besides they are just shallow and you are worth much more than they will ever be.
I am 37 &I am still friends with just 1 of the girls I was at school with.You can count true frinds on the fingers of one hand,and the rest don't matter as they are only friends for what thay can gat out of it.True friends give without expecting anything in return
2007-04-14 10:53:42 · answer #8 · answered by lynn j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ive have been through this alot of times, but you should forget about them. You dont want to get into more trouble like rumors or name calling, plus you are moving, that means a new clean slate. When you are at your new school pick good friends not ones that are going to leave u but ones that are going to have your back. Cause friendship means being honest, not fighting, not leaving behind, and especially no trading old for new. Watch one day they will be begging for you to be their friends.
2007-04-14 11:06:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My darling girl - these are not your friends. They are the mean girls that have existed since time began! I would say that they are very envious of the fact that you are going to go overseas - what does their future look like? Please do not even attempt to join in with this ghastly bullying behaviour - you sound like a really intelligent person - surely you know in your heart that these people are users and abusers. Stay pleasant but cultivate other friendships with people with minds of there own that do not have to travel in a pack to feel secure. Enjoy your life do not surrender it to these lowlifes.
Good luck to you in your new home - hopefully where you will find people as nice as you to share the good and other times!
2007-04-14 10:53:45 · answer #10 · answered by isobellistowel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋