i work in hotel and a gay mag was found in the room of a guest who had checked out. a couple of lads were joking around and said would i like it i turned it down as i'm not out at work. was i wrong what would you have done
2007-04-14 09:32:36 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
As you say, 'you're not out at work' and this is your choice, so don't be forced by others, whether jerks or not, to do things against your will.
'Coming out' as it's called, is a personal choice for some. Getting hold of a gay mag, whilst outing yourself, would have been offered a cheap benefit (a few £'s), whilst at the same time compromising your own values.
It's always better to do things at your own pace, if you ever want to come out. Many millions don't, or do so selectively to those people that they choose for this. Your sexuality is a private matter, until - and if - you decide to make it public knowledge.
Trust your own instincts and don't live in regret either. There are still tons of bigots and as our working hours consume alot of our time, I wouldn't fancy having them filled with others who might make things awkward for me - unless I really felt confident enough to deal with any repurcussions. If the magazine was porn. then you may have even been charged with misconduct for having it - if they'd told management etc. Or even theft of property that was not yours.
Overall, keep yourself safe and in charge of your own life. Live your own values. And only trust those people who you feel, deep down, are the ones that you want to trust with intimate knowledge of yourself.
Good luck! Rob
2007-04-14 22:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by Rob E 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course you were right. First of all, it was not your mag to take. even if the guest had checked out. Second, if you want a gay mag go out and buy one for yourself. Third, judging from your " friends' " response you definitely want to present yourself as straight to them.
2007-04-14 09:37:26 · answer #2 · answered by Richard of Fort Bend 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you do not want to be out at work, you did the right thing. It is not like you "betrayed" the gay community by not taking the magazine. You just chose not to share your intimate life with these jerks. That was probably smart unless you are ready to be "out".
2007-04-14 09:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sabrina 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You did the right thing. Don't let those bullies intimidate you. Steer clear of them, they're not worth the trouble. What you do outside of work is your business, no one else's unless they share your company. And why were they looking at it? Hmmmm
2007-04-14 13:17:10 · answer #4 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
does it matter to them if you are out, if outing yourself only brings grief then what is the point, stay in the closet, till you are sure enough of yourself to stand up to the criticism....
in reality what could have happened you grab the mag and start droolin on the pics and they would have been speechless.....of course you never know but one of your buddies probably scurried back and snatched the mag for himself....
2007-04-14 09:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by Twinkie Thief 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Someone you worked with thought they were joking, and asked you if you'd like a gay magazine? That is sexual harassment, and you should tell your boss. Even if you are gay, people you work with can not go around talking about your sexual preferences, any more than they could ask me if I wanted a Playgirl magazine!
2007-04-14 09:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
theres alot of things you could've done.but just because you are gay does not mean you had to have it.though you could've made a joke out of it like:
'my budgie,hamter etc would enjoy this'
then you could sneakily have enjoyed it at home.
2007-04-14 10:23:55 · answer #7 · answered by The Dreamer 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Truthfully, I don't have an answer because your question isn't clear. But I would got the Gay guy out of there but I wouldn't let him touch me.
2007-04-14 09:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by Athleteirish 30 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, if you are not out at work, there is probably a reason. It is important to stay in your comfort zone in your place of employment. If you aren't comfortable enough to be out - you did the right thing.
2007-04-14 09:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jeannie C 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't have accepted it, if you're not out at work then there's no reason to out yourself by accepting a magazine. There's a better way to do it than accepting a magazine.
Why do you feel you were wrong?
2007-04-14 09:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by deccaboo 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋