should I ask?

Question

I have been engaged for almost a year and getting married in November. I never asked her parents for permision prior to getting engaged because I never got the chance to get to know them, and they were a little discouraged because of this

I am 25 and my fiencee is 31. Now I have gotten to know her parents and they seem to welcome me right into the family. I was thinking of now asking them for their blessing just as a way for them to still feel their respect as her parents.

Should I ask, and should I talk to the father or both the father and mother?

Thanks

Answer 1

Yes, I think it is a good idea to get the father's blessing, as this is the traditional way... of course asking his permission to marry her is out of the question now, as you are engaged, but having the man to man chat, telling her father how much you love her, and how good you will provide and take care of her, and how much it would mean to you if he gave you his blessing... that stuff works.

Hope it helps, and congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

Answer 2

Due to the fact that you know the parents very well now, and they seem to accept you as part of the family. I see it as being very respectful to ask or inform the both of them of the upcoming marriage plans. I would plan ahead for the right time to tell them though. Plan a nice quiet evening together and set the mood, it's amazing how things can go so smoothly if you plan ahead,

Answer 3

Well, I am old-fashioned, because I am ,well, old. I asked my father-in-law out of respect . It worked out fine but I believe if he had said no, I am not sure what I would have done. On our wedding day, he mentioned to other relatives what a bum I was and didn't' know what his daughter saw in me.

Ended up he two sons left our home town. One son died young ( 43). Father-in-law had a stroke and that's when faith and respect for in-laws takes on new meaning. I'd take my in-law out to lunch and give him some smokes. I'd give him a good straight razor hot shave occasionally etc. Even had to wipe his butt at times at a restaurant. Not pleasant but I was there and the only one available. This man and his generation would almost rather die than have a son-in-law wipe their behind.

Just before he died, he told me he thought more of me than his own sons. No higher compliment could ever be paid.

So, honor you future in-laws and you will become a good son to them This is what we are to do in life and in time, your own will do for you.

Answer 4

At first I thought no as she is way past the age of concent and a fully fledged adult. But on further consideration I think it would be a great idea. Either the father or both as you feel comfortable and dependanct on the relationship between them and you. It would be respectful, traditional, and I think put you in a good light. I think it is nice of you to even think of the idea.

Answer 5

Well that is kind of the situation that me and my wife was in after i got to know her parents i asked her father for his blessing on us getting married. he liked the idea that i came to him, and the fact that i respected him enough to do it one on one. But, they were raised in the since that the man makes all the decision's, and the women just keeps house. i would think that it would be how you think that they would feel if you left one of them out or would it bother them. i hope this helps.

Answer 6

It doesn't matter what the parents feel but it matters whether you and your wife want to get married also I would tell her father and mother about the marriage plans just out of respect and common courtesy.

Answer 7

Yes. Ask. It's just the respectful thing to do. Explain why you haven't asked before. And I'd ask both of her parents. Take them out to lunch, explain how much you love their daughter, tell them you'll love and respect her, and take care of her, and then ask for their blessing. I think, even though it is late, they will have new respect for you. Good luck!

Answer 8

well, being both people are over the age of 18..you dont have to ask anyone for permission to get married to each other..

you only have to ask the person you want to marry if they will marry you..

love has nothing to do with 'permission" from a consenting adults parents..

Answer 9

since your both over 18 adults i wouldn't ask her parents but i would go over there and tell them you two are getting married and you want their blessings and you will treat her right

Answer 10

You dont HAVE to ask but I think it would be a sweet gesture and they would be happy about it.