how do i tell her?

Question

ok heres the thing. im bi and my best m8 dont know and i really wanna tell her but im affraid of what she will think. ive got this other good m8 who is also bi and yest we went to me best m8s house to tell her. my good m8 told her that she was bi but when it came down to it i just couldnt tell her bout me coz i saw the look she had in her eyes and it told me not good. everytime she was askd if she was ok with it by my m8 she just said well it dont matter what i think its what makes u happy. but the thing is my other m8 doesnt see my best m8 every day but i do. i really wanna tell her coz i hate keeping this from her but im really scared that she will go weird on me and try and keep her distanced. what should i do?

Answer 1

Someone who doesn't accept you as you are is not a very good friend is he/she?
Just tell it...it will be a load of your shoulders!

Answer 2

I'm assuming you're English, with the use of "mate" for "friend".

Have you considered just talking to her about the subject? I mean, if you really are best friends, have you ever just talked about things that matter to you: faith, people, dreams, hopes, sex? Those things will come up between true friends. If you haven't had any close "intimate" talks, then think about how deep your friendship is: it may be rather shallow.

Friends can disagree about things, and still remain friends. Start with a neutral conversation, perhaps about your mutual acquaintence who is admittedly bi-sexual. Your friend may have been reacting out of a pre-determined morality mindset, or she may have felt uneasy with a stranger suddenly "outing" herself. (I would consider that REALLY odd, and be uncomfortable with it as well! Such conversations usually only happen between people who are already close. It seems inappropriate to me to unload my sexual preferences on a total stranger.)

Best advice I can give, is just to talk to her. If she is really your friend, she will accept you where you are, and you can do the same for her, however she feels about it.

If you are truely HER friend, btw, please avoid the label "homophobe" (if she has a moral objection to the activity). It is really insulting to a straight person, to be labeled such for their beliefs.

Answer 3

If she is bi and you are tell her in private and then you will have something in common with her and you can relate to her. I think it will make your relationship stronger. Good luck.

Answer 4

I would move to another state and get away from it all. lol.