why are some men kind and some men abusive?

Question

I wonder why some men are reallay controlling and emotionaly abusive

Answer 1

The usual suspect for this behavior is the way there father treated there mother or how they treated the kids. Most men that grew up in a abusive home where they witnessed hitting and control from there father or even there mother at times will figure that this is normal adult behavior. Most times it is
best they seek some sort of therapy because they have past issues they have never overcome. I would however state that
if you are in a relationship with someone that has this problem either you give them an ultimatum they seek some professional help or you leave. it is very common tha if a man does not get this under control it will keep escalating end at times end up in them commiting murder usually the spouse or the whole family and then commiting suicide.

Answer 2

That's like asking why some cats are black & some cats are white. It just happens because every possible personality trait gets represented sooner or later in humans.

I haven't, however, figured out why they think it's ok to be abusive. I can't understand their mindset. I figure they think they're the "good guy" because everyone thinks he's the hero of his own story, but I don't understand why they think their actions are justified. I do, however, know that they tend to blame everyone but themselves for their problems, so that's one of the easy ways to detect them when they're in the "let's pretend I'm a nice guy" stage of the relationship.

Answer 3

Easy......

Poverty, stupidity, lack of confidence in his own masculinity, poor parenting, mom never home, too many children in the household , no dad in the house, parents weren't educated. no family values, no family traditions, and generally no real family.

Bright, educated men brought up in loving households,
concerned parents, generally don't have these types of personality problems.

If you wish to attract the latter type of man, you yourself must be this in feminine form. Soooo if you don't have a education, get one. Get a great job, read everything, question everything, Check the statement carefully before you say it. Be kind to others.

If you are a hs dropout, gum snapping biker type tatooed chick, that is about all you will get in men interested in you.... ahhhh sad, but true.

Be a classy lady, great smile, stay in shape, educate your brain, and about any type of guy you want, can be yours.

Answer 4

Some people will treat you the way you allow them too-

If these weak women would stand up to them and have a backbone first off the men would go on to somebody else.

There shouldn't be a 2nd chance when somebody hits you- threatens to hit you or verbally abuses you- ever.

Answer 5

I like John C's answer. But I actually think they can't control the own monsters in their head left from a bad childhood and possibly an imbalance as someone else stated....they have no control over themselves....enter someone even more defenseless. TA DA!

Answer 6

Human variation; genetic and social. I could write books on the subject and still have a limited understanding. It's certainly not Yahoo! Answers appropriate.

Answer 7

honey that's just the way the world is there will always be some good in it and some bad in it. all I can say is watch who you choose to date or love. cause people can always look one way then turn out to be other. I also say pray and God will send you the best person for you.

Answer 8

I can not answer exactly why they start that way but if a woman allows that behavior it will continue. The women that will not allow it just leave and find a better man. They do it because they can.

Answer 9

I have no clue, could be the way they are raised, could be a mental issue or a chemical imbalance

Answer 10

why do women stay with the guys that abuse them .there wouldnt be abuse if women left after the first time.