Hi I am software engg. currently working in mumbai. I love a gujrati girl but I am not gujarti. We both love each other. We know each other for last 1 year.I have also visited Ghandhinagar several times to meet her. My mother is agree wih our relaionship. But according to her my lover's family is very conservative. According to them a girl's life would be decided by them only. My girlfriend is very anxious about the future of our relationship. Her parents do not know about me. My girlfriend is still collage student. Her parents have started searching for her boy. Her father is also influencial. We are not sure even if my family goes with marriage proposal whether they will talk on that matter. My girl friend told me her socity does not allow a boy who is not gujarati. I do not have any connection in Gujarat. Even in this modern age peple only think about cast. We both love each other. Please suggest us. We are loking for ur advice.
2007-04-14 08:17:20 · 14 answers · asked by Arnab d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Caste system has taken deep roots everywhere in India.
It is difficult to override it. But there is nothing to dishearten. Things are changing. If you love the girl and if she too loves you, then both of you can talk it out to your respective parents and resolve it. If your love is very deep, then you can go ahead and marry with help of some well wishers in the court.
The idea is to bring along the two families and convince them of the merits that both of you have, and that you would make a happy couple.
2007-04-19 01:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by Ishan26 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The normal assumption and frequently observed conclusion is that ithe greater the homogenity among the backgrounds and cultural/ religious/ social values among the husband and wife and their families, less is the chances of conflicts and greater the post-marriage adjustment process. But there are always exceptions. If the families of the boy and the girl are broad minded and non-interfering, and the intensity of love between the boy and the girl remains strong even if conflicts arise after marriage and they have the maturity to compromise and resolve without protracted negotiations and bargaining, there should not be any problem. The issue is really not about caste, the issue is one of clarity of understanding of relationships, both way give and take, willingness to adjust rather than asking others to adjust, the intensity and depth of love that are what matters. Inmy family there are nowa days mostly cross caste, cross language. cross religion marriages without anyone raising any issue. Our family remains Hindus, our children remain Bengalis and welcomed others into the family with clear understanding before marriage.
2007-04-20 11:41:54 · answer #2 · answered by sensekonomikx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Why people do consider cast while marriage? I love a Gujarati girl but I am not Gujarati. Please advice?
Hi I am software engg. currently working in mumbai. I love a gujrati girl but I am not gujarti. We both love each other. We know each other for last 1 year.I have also visited Ghandhinagar several times to meet her. My mother is agree wih our relaionship. But according to her my lover's family...
2015-08-23 06:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why your are awaiting be bold both are love each other you have education exp etc., girl is fully confident on you.be bold and meet her well wisher relative first and keep posted your proposal, initial obstacle will come finally agreed the love -that's true love.but you must patients if her father is thinking of the daughter life then he would accept the love.depending upon your character and approach meantime request your parents to meet her parents also nothing wrong.
If fails world is very big and wide you may quit the job shift your base some other state along with your lover,after one or two years situation would change
hurry make worry
ALL the Best youngsters
2007-04-16 21:54:43 · answer #4 · answered by Murugesan g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the U.S., we don't have cast; we have something that used to be referred to as station. There are multiple terms: new money versus old money, etc., and cities and towns are divided into neighborhoods each having a position relative to the others in terms of desirability.
It looses importance once professional status takes over and changing station is common so it doesn't impact marriage as strongly as a society where it is carried through adult life. It is still a part of our society but since it is old-world thinking, it is not spoken of so freely and openly, rather it is confined to close quarters.
Once a union has formed, it does not shatter easily under those forces.
I'm sure there are others in your society who have broken cast and married, find some and talk to them. They will have the hindsight you are seeking in terms of cost to their family ties.
In the long view, only you and she know whether your bond will endure the stresses and lead you to a happy life.
2007-04-14 08:47:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sobi o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its nothing to do with the caste or any other thing. Its basically that you are used to a type of food from childhood and if you marry a girl from the other caste, your food habits get affected badly in the later parts of your married life, when you start picking up fights.
2007-04-21 06:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by satishfreeman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, this is the culture you were both born into so there is no easy answer. that said, if you truly love eachother then you should go to her parents and see if you can make it work. if not, wait until an appropriate time (at least until she finishes school) and elope. make it smart so you two can survive together and make sure she's able to live without contact with her family. if she can't live without her family, move on and try to mend your broken heart.
2007-04-14 08:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love each etheir, who cares what other people say. You ever hear the Akon song that goes, "Nobody wants to see us together but it don't matter no, cause I got you."? Well if you haven't, it should teach you a lesson. It's your life, your love, your choice!!! You should talk to your parents and explainhow much youlove each other, and ask them if they would like it the one you wanted to marry wasn't alloud to marry her?
2007-04-14 08:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by Autumn H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...its not that inter-caste marriages do not happen nowadays...infact,i kno of a family who married their daughters in completely different castes!! i think in ur case,ur lover shud tk the initiative n tell her parents about you.Though, it depends on family atmosphere but 99 out of 100 fathers want their daughters to b happy.Once she tells them abt u,u cn ask ur parents to talk to her parents..u both will have to persuade ur own families bcoz u kno ur family's emotional level..else write to Love Guru!!
best of Luck!
2007-04-14 08:29:29 · answer #9 · answered by relaxedbhavica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its all rubbish.
But take care If you want to marry her you should be ready to leave both your family and she of hers also.
If you really love each other go and get married.
2007-04-18 22:09:00 · answer #10 · answered by mit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋