I am really withdrawn from life I guess. In school I have friends, but I don't like to talk much. I never go out with anyone to the movies or I don't get invited... I dunno how to fix this. I wanna be a good kid, not like loud and a prep, and smart, but still socialize better. Anyone know how to help?
2007-04-14 08:06:37 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
As uncomfortable as it feels, the only way to get over shyness is to practice being outgoing. It will be very uncomfortable at first, but if you want to get over it, you just have to be keep acting in an outgoing way. Be patient with yourself. It may be a year or two before you're completely out of your shell.
2007-04-14 08:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first question is, are you REALLY unhappy with your life? Or are you only feeling bad because of societal expectations of how people should act? If you sincerely find this to be a problem, try asking your friends at school if you can join them when they go out. Simply smile or say hi to someone. Watch your body language - crossing your ams makes you seem less approachable.
I am pretty withdrawn myself. Sometimes it gets me down, but I don't mind it for the most part. I could improve my social skills more, but I like who I am. I really like when you said, "not like a loud and a prep." It shows you want some improvement, but not to change who you are completely. So, try something simple each day.
2007-04-14 15:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by January 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that when I was very withdrawn and shy it came down to one thing. We do not step out into life because we are afraid of embarassment or doing something stupid and being laughed at or socially rejected. I know it is very hard and I believe as maturity and life experiences come we start to realize that people come and go in our lives and their opinions of us are not that important. I tell my daughter, who is in high school all the time that soon the people she sees everyday will be going out and making their own lives and she will move on to other social groups like college so don't worry about doing something embarassing or stupid. the truth of the matter is that we all do things that are embarassing and others are worrying about the same thing you are. the important part is what you are missing by not going out there and trying. What you'll have in many happy memories of good times. I hope that helps but it is true "seize the day" You will not regret it.
2007-04-14 16:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by treedy82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both Resis and Cordelia have great answers.
Think of it as conditioning. The more and more you socialize, the more comfortable you'll become with it. At first, it will be really difficult and you'll feel like you're getting nowhere, but just when you're about to give up, sure enough you'll begin to feel more comfortable in social settings. It takes a lot of time and you have to stick with it. Honestly, you probably won't notice a lot of improvement until a year or so...but that depends on how much you socialize. My advice is not to overwhelm yourself. Start out small, then you can move up from there.
As weird as it is, the old adage "practice makes perfect", applies even to this situation.
2007-04-14 15:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by __ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh child, you sound like exactly the way i used to be...i used to be so quiet in school, i had alot of friends but none of them seemed interested in me outside of school, and i was ALWAYS the one getting left out. it was quite depressing....but ok, you have to get inspiration from someone, think of someone you know who is how you want to be, someone outgoing with great social skills....then when your in social situations, think of how that person would act and try to do that.
i know when you and a group of people are having a conversation, you probably dont say really anything. but just take it slow, ease yourself into the convo. like even a simple "yeah" or "really" will show people that you want to socialize....not saying anything will give the impression that you are bored with the conversation or that you dont want to be there with them. another thing is that after a while of doing this you will be used to talking that you will start to give your own opinions and it will just feel natural.
also, if you are worried about saying something dumb or people not agreeing with what you say, hun dont be!! actually, if you bring a new idea into the conversation, kids really respect that, and you can go back and forth talking about that. well hey i really hope this can help you, if you want you can even message me cause i know i can help you! best of luck.
2007-04-14 15:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same way you can get 'less withdrawn'.
2007-04-14 15:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by nectar_pepsi 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋