How do I tell my parents that I'm pregnant?

Question

I am 20 yr. and have lived with my boyfriend for the last 2yrs. I obviously just graduated from high school a couple of yrs. ago and there have been a lot of people from my class who have become pregnant in these past couple of years. Every time my mom hears about one of these people becoming pregnant she goes on about how you should be at least 25 before you become pregnant, and she is just really closed minded to it. I was not planning on this baby and have only just found out that I am pregnant, I did not want kids right now but I am going to accept this one as if it were planned but I am concerned about how my parents will react I don't have the best relationship with them but I am trying to improve it.

P.S. Yes I was using birth control and most of the time condoms too. :)

Any advice on how to break the news will be greatly appericiated.

Answer 1

Why will they be surprised? You are living with boyfriend so you are obviously sleeping together. I think it is to be expected????

Answer 2

It may be difficult for your parents to accept... they might tell you negative things, such as your to young, you distroyed your life, blah blah blah.... but deep down inside I am sure they'll be thrilled to have a grandchild.

The easiest thing I can suggest doing is just bluntly throw it out there. There is no sense in hiding it, or prolong telling them. The longer you wait , the worse it will be. The faster you tell them, the sooner they'll be able to accept the idea before baby gets here.

If you already know what they'll be like when you tell them.... just prepare yourself for the worst. Do not go in thinking they'll immidiately accept you and and accept the thought of a grandchild. Go in thinking they'll say something negative. That way what ever they have to dish out you won't be blind sided by.

Yes, you might be hurt or disappointed in the way they'll act.... but, your a grown adult now and no longer live at home. You do not need to live with them and hear the constant nagging.
So long as both you and your BF want this child, do not let anyone else around you make you look bad.

Good luck to you, hope everything works out and hopefully they'll be happy for you, vs. mad at you.

Answer 3

Well, I'm 18 (will be 19 in less than a month) and have been living with my boyfriend for a year. I'm 4 months pregnant today! I too was on birth control, and I was terrified about telling my parents. My dad especially always lectures me on how I'm ruining my life by living with a man instead of living in a college dorm have having "the college experience". I think my decision is the more mature one, but that's beside the point.

I told my mom as soon as I found out. I called her on the phone, and she started talking about her grandkids (my brother has 2 kids already), and I started crying told her I was glad she liked grandkids because I was about to have her another one. She hung up the phone and came right over and hugged me. I told my dad about a month later, and I told him over the phone too. Crying, fo course. It was hard and I didn't do it in any cutesy way, besides to tell him that I was using birth control, but it failed, and now I was pregnant and was going to kleep the baby.

Your parents would probably rather you told them to their faces, though. I hope I helped a little!

Answer 4

First- wait until you are at least 12 weeks along AND you have seen a doctor and heard a heartbeat. Your mom seems like she wouldn't be a terribly supportive person if you lost the baby.

Second.. Have your parents over for dinner- let them see your nice, clean home with room to spare for a baby. Let them eat your well prepared food (healthy items too- no mac and cheese). Once they are all impressed by your ability to be so grown up- tell them (with your boyfriend there). Explain you plan to still go to school and persue a career (if that is true). Explain how you and your boyfriend are very committed to each other and plan to get married (if that is true).

Answer 5

Just tell them. I had the same exact problem. i didn't want to tell my mom because all that would come to mind is how people should have kids when they are done with college. I am 19 and my husband is 25, both going to college. But still I was afraid. Then I decided to tell her, all she said was you should have waited a year. Now she can't wait to be a grandmother. So, somtimes I think we become too paranoid, we just think of all the bad they are going to say. Calm down and just tell her. Good luck.

Answer 6

You need to just go ahead and tell her. Even if she is upset with you in the beginning, she will come around. It will be her grandchild after all. She may have a hard time adjusting and if she becomes too critical, just tell her that you can't handle the stress and if she is going to be vocal with you in her criticism then even though you have wanted her to be a part of the pregnancy and the child's birth, you will be forced to have to stay away from her as much as possible. Tell her that it wasn't in your plans right now to have a child but that it must have been in God's plans or you wouldn't be pregnant right now. We mom's can be over bearing at times and we tend to voice our opinions even when they aren't wanted. I know I do it even though I try to stop myself.

Just try to bear with her and she will come around. I know because I have been there and now I have 7 wonderful grandchildren and I love them all dearly.

Answer 7

Just say "Mom, Dad, I have some good news. At first when you hear me say my good news, you will be shocked and maybe disappointed in me and I understand that. This is my choice and I am sticking with it and I can only hope the two of you will be here for me and help me through this since this is when I am going to need you the most. My good news is that I will be a mother, and you will be grandparents, andI have a wonderful baby growing inside of me." and then work from there. Goodluck congrats

Answer 8

Well i was 28 when i got pregnant and am now 29.. I feared tellin my parents.. but you are an adult, there is no set age on a pregnancy.. tell your mom that god has blessed her to be a grandmother, and you can't wait for them to an important part of your babys life. I know it is hard at first but once your belly starts growing they will be anxious.. I remember telling my mom, I just said.. I am pregnant... what else can you say.. either accept it or not you are going to be grandparents

Answer 9

they shouldnt be mad at you if your pregnant...yeah i know a lot of parents will disown their kids but it wasnt a planned pregnance. and you were on birth controll and condoms so you were being safe when it happened. if your boyfriend really loves you then he will stay by your side through the whole thing...and your parents should know if he really loves you, its easy to see. So if they dont want anything to do with you or the baby at first at least you have your boyfriend! But just come out and tell them...you never know they might be happy for you and wanna help you out!

Answer 10

I too had that same problem, during the course of my pregnancy, i didnt tell my mom...but everytime I spoke to her she mentioned how all these young girls are getting pregnant.
I wrote her a letter stating that I wanted to raise my child in a loving environment, not a critical or judgemental one. And that it already happened and I"m taking responsiblity. I gave her the choice to either love or stay away until she can accept it. And that I dont want my child to grow up without a grandma, but it would be her choice. She showed up 3 months after the birth.

Answer 11

You and your boyfriend should invite your parents to your home for dinner or an evening out. Make sure everyone is having fun and then hold your mom's hands and tell her that you and your boyfriend are going to be parents and they are going to be grandparents and you want them to be happy for you. You may be surprised at her reaction. She will want to be involved and help you - believe that. You don't mention how your boyfriend feels about this - but I hope that you both are on the same page - it would help if you have a united front. Good luck.