I ve been in a relationship with my bf for 4 years now, I cant say were not happy but things just keeping getting more complicated, a lot of differences and the feeling seems more like a very good friendship than true love. But now i ran into an old friend and we seem PERFECT for each other, but the only thing that scares me is that he barely has a job, since he just moved to a different city and im afraid to give it all up and then regret it!!!! WHAT TO DO?
2007-04-14 06:11:14 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wait to see if the new guy can get his life together. Now is the time to be selfish. Better now than after you marry the wrong person and have a few children. THAT is complicated!
2007-04-14 06:15:40 · answer #1 · answered by HRchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy one, and I don't answer many......
If relationships are admiration, respect, passion and trust, I' d not have much respect or admiration for a guy with no ability to hold a good, and I mean GOOD job. So, if you don't like who you're with, I'm not so sure the guy you are looking at is a good choice. Here's some words from my mom:
1. The most important decision you will ever make is the guy you marry. Choose wisely, and with your head as well as your heart... (good one for you right now...)
2. Don't have any children until your relationship is solid. Kids can destroy anything. Make me a mother in law before you make me a grand mother. And have no more than you yourself can support, because they will end up to be yours.... 50% of all marriage fail, usually because of kids.
3. Finish your education at any cost. You will likely work sometime during your marriage, even for decades.... get paid for it.
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about, even if you are sure you will never need it.... you will, absolutely, and the more the better.
You aren't perfect for each other if he can't earn a living, hon..... love is out the window when the bills don't get paid. And yes, you'll regret it. Get a job,,,, a good one.
2007-04-14 09:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are stable but bored,,do not make any rash judgments or statements to your boyfriend,you could lose him by saying the wrong thing when you have no idea what the right thing is. put some time and effort into your relationship before you do anything,,it could just need some life injecting into it as many do when you take each other for granted,,you do not say you are hit,abused,called names,sex starved,belittled or even unhappy,,you are used to the life you have and desire something more and there is nothing wrong in that but believe me the saying is very true,,,,the grass isnt always greener,,,,,,,your life with this other man may seem exciting from where you are sitting but when you are no longer sat there it may not be so pretty,,it could be pretty crap,and then what,,there may be no going back and things can change so dramatically that you dont even recognize yourself or your situation anymore. your relationship with your boyfriend may be over it is true,,it just may have ran its course but wouldnt you rather be sure and know you tried?
2007-04-14 06:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Glad you're not married yet. Time to move on if you are having that much doubt and problems.
Just remember, the grass is always greener, the love of your life can change or grow better, you can't live on true love.Having said that, by all means throw away what you want now before you are married. Afterward you can still throw everything away and years later regret it when the "One true love" left for another.
(OK, I am getting grouchy in my old age, sorry)
2007-04-14 14:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by Ret. Sgt. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think about what's more important. Financial stability or true love? Talk to your friend, not necessarily about the situation at hand but just talk see how you get along long term. One of the worst things you could do is just jump into anything. Give it a few months. if he IS the love of your life he'll still be around. don't leave a safe Haven for something that might be a mistake.
2007-04-14 06:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by hplssrmntc313 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i gave up my safety net for marriage. i married the love of my life. i cant tell u what to do, but i think maybe you should move on if your not getting anywhere with your current relationship. ask yourself some questions
1. does he make promises he cant keep?
2. does he say just for what you want to hear?
3. does he still make u ache for him every time he walks into a room?
if u cant say yes to those 3 questions, then you answered your own question. good luck
i walked away from love of my life, but i found somebody better. dont make that mistake as i did!
2007-04-14 07:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Financial stability? Money isn't everything nor does it provide you with happiness, but maybe a false sense of security. Just because he's not a provider doesn't mean he can't make an excellent partner. Of course, I'm thinking about becoming a minimalist. Stuff is just stuff. As long as you've got food to eat and a place to stay, who cares?
2007-04-14 06:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I would never stay with someone for money. You could make it for 5,10 or 15 more years together and finally get so fed up, you will leave anyway. All that wasted time. I say to go for true love, but always make sure it is first. Best of wishes!! : )
2007-04-14 06:16:46 · answer #8 · answered by Christy T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it...
Don't invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship without marriage...Don't have kids out of wedlock..
Get a good Pre-Nup..
Don't marry anyone with personality or character problems,
they only get worse after marriage..
Don't marry anyone who does not have the capacity to
financially support and care for a family...
2007-04-14 06:15:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely
2016-05-19 23:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋