Read the following situation and tell me how you would handle it if you were a parent..?

Question

Jan came home from school today acting the same as she has been for a couple of weeks now.....she was very quiet, and when I asked her how her day went she said "o.k." and walked away. At dinner she doesn't talk either, and she seems to be off in another world. Her friends call, and she doesn't want to talk to them. She goes on a lot of "walks" and when she comes back she acts really jittery. I have also noticed some things missing from her room.

This is totally hypothetical, I am just tyring to see if everyone "looking in" has the same idea of the problem and how to fix it. Call it a study on human behavior and how perceptive we are to the problems that surround us.

Jan is 13.

Answer 1

How old is Jan?

either you or your husband ( who is closer to her) has to sit and talk with her. talk and talk and talk.
it is very difficult age for a girl, many "new things" are happening with her body, sexuality is knocking the door, 'strange' relations with boys and 'fake' friendships with girls, not enough knowledge about life around her and in general....
lack of communication is the first sign that there is an alarming question in her mind that needs an URGENT answer...
missing things from her room are very strange thing, you did not say, if they are expensive...or just some small things you can give as a present, or clothing, or souvenirs.......if these things have a value, then I will be alarmed : selling them means she needs money for purchasing something she can not ask you to buy for her....giving them to somebody in exchange for something.....
or maybe you do not know how to deal with her growing-up and she is trying to find answers somewhere else.
in any case : it is a very unstable and unpredictable-behavior age. she is very lonely and insecure right now. she NEEDS her family and love.
sometimes we are pushing our kids to behave that way, which we do not notice.....any fights between you and your husband can make them feel insecure...even your overprotection can have opposite results...
please, try to find something ...if not, you will have to search proffesional help...do not wait too long,

Answer 2

I would sit down with her and try to make her talk. I don't mean just asking her if she's okay...I mean, telling her I need to know what is wrong with her. If I got nowhere, I'd call a counselor and make an appointment, AND a doctor about a drug test. I'd tell her (Jan) I was doing it. She wouldn't trust me in the future if I didn't.

Jittery could mean a lot of things, as could missing items from her room. Someone could be threatening her and making her give them her things...she could be selling them for illegal substances for her own use, or for someone else...she could be pregnant and trying to find a way to abort without telling me...there are so many possibilities, but I wouldn't stop until I found out, and could help her.

Answer 3

Given the information you gave, I would say that Jan has a drug problem which would explain her change in attitude and the stuff missing from her room, she's obviously selling it to support her habit.

Hypothetical or not, someone should stage an intervention and get Jan the help she needs.

Answer 4

It depends on what you suspect is going on. For me, I was a bit like that when I was a teenager just going through the typical teenage change, but there could be more to it than that. Like drugs or a boyfriend or something. I would first just sit her down and ask her what is going on. Tell her my concerns and let her know I'm there for her. Hopefully she will tell me a bit about what is going on. If not, well, I don't know if I would stoop to following her at a distance on her "walks," but I might. I think it would be worth it a bit to put my mind at ease. And if she doesn't enter any homes or whatever, I would have more reason to believe that it is just her going through a stage, and I'd let it be. If she does, I would look into it a bit more--ask around about that home, possibly ask her about it, etc.

Answer 5

Your daughter is at least 'dealing with puberty' but because some things are missing from her room, and she is 'jittery' when she comes home after a walk, you need to 'confront her' and find out if she is 'having sex' with someone (at her age having sex with ANYONE is 'inappropriate') AND if she is 'doing drugs' ... but you should LISTEN CAREFULLY because her weird behavior could be just that she's 'growing up and dealing with life differently than she did when she was a child.'

Answer 6

Jan is in trouble and as a parent I would sit her down and have a talk- she could be doing drugs or may be pregnant, or suicidal- what were her friends like? can you talk to them? your child needs your interference right now, she just doesn't know it-- I would follow her and see where she goes first, this way if she is doing drugs you can follow her to the source and rid yourself of it.

Answer 7

you come back for the era of as a compassionate and beautiful father :-) I agree conversing is superb and whilst punishments are due they ought to be relative to "crime". With that stated, i'm able to make certain this ought to be an exceedingly perplexing undertaking yet I additionally see which you recognize whats executed is executed and now its time to shelter it, no longer stay over the hazards of it. As a mom myself, that's how i could shelter it (husband is of an identical opinion). She is extremely youthful so Im uncertain how she would be waiting to shelter the being pregnant bodily conversing. I dont consider abortion, in spite of the undeniable fact that if in the process the being pregnant she develop into now no longer in a position to hold the youngster or she could die, her being so youthful herself, that is a thank you to circulate, regrettably yet in any different case the plan could be, she is going to term, and we get by it mutually. She made a mistake which little ones in many cases do and what she theory could on no account take place, did. i could have her proceed college and that i could look after her baby. whilst she develop into domicile, she could do homework and handle her place as mom, with our . instruction from us and different exterior components. She could have constrained time on my own in simple terms as with parents of any age this could proceed until eventually she develop into executed with college(and/or college) so as that the day could come whilst she would have the ability to help her little family contributors on her very own. i does no longer be happy relating to the placement yet its already been executed. And with the superb help she would have the ability to be an unbelievable mom. aside sort my very very own abortion stance, she is 12yo and cant completely draw close what it may recommend and could tutor to be emotionally traumatizing for her and that i dont propose taking that course. In time, issues gets less difficult after the tough start up.

Answer 8

Well having seen relatives act similarly when on meth or similar drugs I'd have to at least check it out to make sure that isn't the issue. Better safe than sorry.

Answer 9

I'd sit down and have a serious talk and not let her off the hook. things missing and jitters are big clues something is up. Be FIRM but always let her know she can trust you.

Vin

Answer 10

well, it could be one of many things,,,,, first , just a phase she is going threw,,,, contemplative, unsociable,,,,,, or it could be drugs,,,,,, the jittery part is a red flag! drugs could be anything from legal(for adults) to illegal ones,,,,, since things ae missing from her room, that is a red flag also,,,,,,,,,,,, but she could be being bullied, someone forcing her to give them money or things,,,,,,
depression is also a possibility