What do you think about an adult who snuck my daughter out of school to the airport.?

Question

When my daughter was 16, the 24 yr old daughter of my boyfriend (mother of 2 children) went behind my back and drove her to the airport to pick up a guy she met on the internet. He was from Washington and we were from Indiana.
My boyfriend thinks its what kids do. First of all, I dont think his 24 yr old daughter is a "kid", I think she should have never done it because of safety issues and It was not her place to be driving my child to the airport. She did not mention it to me because if she did, it would have been strictly forbidden. If this guy had been a internet child molester or some kind of pervert, I would have never gotten over it, and in this day and age you never know.
Secondly, she is my child and they snuck around about it. We dont sneak around with my kids. Not allowed.
What would you have done or said to this grown woman who seems to have gone back into teen immaturity?

Answer 1

I would have told the grown adult to grow up that she's 24 and that she ain't no teenager anymore. Also that she doesn't have any right to sneak around with you child to take her to an airport to meet up with a guy she met over the Internet. Let her know the consequences of going to meet with a complete stranger that you meet on line but also all the risk she was getting your daughter into. And tell her to never take your daughter anywhere unless she asks you or informs you.

Answer 2

I do not care who she is or what your boyfriend said. She had no business getting your daughter from school for anything unless you know about it? What else is she giving or allowing your daughter to do behind your back? THINK. I would faught my daughter first, she should be on some sort of punishment or something for going with her and not discussing it with you first, the school is next, is the 24 yr. old on the pick up list? If not I would ask them why they allowed my child to leave with her, or did she not go through the official books to pick her up (another no-no), then I would probably have a talk with the 24 yr. old.. This world is crazy that guy could have been anybody and your daughter could be anywhere, doing anything by now! If the 24 yr. old does it again I would notify the police. It may seem trival, but your daughter will thank you in the long run. Your her mother- step in and take control before its too late.

Answer 3

i think the real issue here is your daughter, not the obviously immature 24 y/o...

if as you said, you have raised your children with a certain value system and they know what is not acceptable, vs. what is forbidden, why would your daughter ask the other genius to do this behind your back.

it was your daughter who met the man online and she is the one that planned to meet because she knew that she could manipulate someone like the woman...

and even thou you are trying to point out that she is a woman because of her age and 2 kids, it's obvious to me that good decision making, responsibility, etc. were not on her parents agenda when this girl was younger...mentally, there are people who are in fact less immature than the age they really are...

i'm sorry to know that you experienced this...i can understand your fears and what if's. but your real problem to deal with is your daughter...all you have to do with the 24/y/o is make it clear that if she does not follow the rules you have set for your daughter and goes behind your back again, you will bring legal charges against her...also, turn the table around and ask her, how would she react if this was done to her...express to her the fear that they put you through and that you are disappointed in her...take it from there...

but on the other hand...how is your kid making relationships with men online and you don't know what is going on?

shouldn't your 16 y/o know better than to do something like this?

you have a problem in your hands lady...

this encounter, is the first one you know about because they got busted...i would doubt that this is the first time your kid has gone behind your back

Answer 4

Obviously this woman is not mature to her age. Yes, its good that your daughter and your boyfriends daughter get along well and share somewhat a sister-sister bond, but what good is that if she can't protect your daughter. And your were right about the child predator issue, that could have been true, but your daughter was lucky. This woman needs to ask herself what she would have done if one of her 2 kids wanted to do what your 16 year old wanted to do. Would she have been ok with that? How would she react?

Answer 5

this woman guilty of endangering ur child as well a laundry list of other things. she is an adult and knows better. keep ur child away from her because if she would accompany ur child 2 pick up a stranger from an airport then there is no telling what else she would allow ur daughter 2 do in her presence. ur hubby should b ashamed of himself cuz if it were the other way around i'm sure he would not tolerate ur child taking his daughter on a wild ride like that. she would not b very welcomed in my home after that.

Answer 6

I have a young daughter too, if that happened to my kid, I'd tell the 24 year old to stay away from my family for now on, and threaten to call the Children's Protective Services, and report her for child endangerment, and be very firm while saying this to her.

Answer 7

i agree with you. but your boyfriends parenting is very laxed and different from yours. i think u should have a family meeting. sit your daughter, his daughter and him and tell him how u feel. how the situation made u feel. the possiblities that it could of turned bad. find examples research this. write everything down. lay down some rules that everyone will follow. and consequences. u are the mom and that is YOUR daughter. it is your job to ensure her life securely and u know this. tell them that too. and if they can't abide by the rules then his daughter should not be welcomed in YOUR house anymore. if boyfriend doesn't agree ---he needs to go. be strong for your daughter. it is her safety u worry about all the time and will for the rest of your life.

Answer 8

Sign her up for the Jerry Springer show.

Anyway, a 16 year old should know if she is in a safe situation or not. If she felt in danger then she should have done something. Since she didn't, you are probably making a big deal out of something small.

"What if..." will drive you crazy. The result is that everything is OK. What you learned is that you cannot trust this 24 year old. She is irresponsible. That's all.

Answer 9

In my opinon i think you should grow your relationship with your daughter more. She should be able to trust you with anything, and she should wanna hear your opioion. I agree with you the "24" is not a kid and she needs to grow up and get a life. Also maybe shes a daddys, gurl, what you need to do is to learn how to disipline. Allow your daughter to do things shes old enough but most of all you need to TRUST her.

Answer 10

I think if she hadn't taken her that your 16 year old would've found another way to get there and possibly be hurt. I also think that now that your 16 year old has an adult she can trust that she will confide in her regarding other matters that you wouldn't be so pleased with. I would be grateful to my step-daughter for looking out for my kid.