Ok, Me and my husband have been married for 2 months. And the other day he woke up after having a BAD dream about me, (I've been married b4) he had a dream that I had kids but all by different dads...(dont have kids) I was at work when he woke up so he went to my storage closet and got all my pics etc out..(no pics of any ex's) only thing i really had was my prom pic, which he ripped up. And he wrote all these nasty comments on all the pics I had of me and some friends...just friends...so i had to throw them away because they were ruined...And of course he was telling me he wanted a divorce because he couldn't handle my past (bc i was married b4) So the next day he told me he was sorry and he didn't want to leave. And now he acts like everything is ok...and I act depressed around him I guess due to loss of respect. And he questions why I act this way...what should I do?
2007-04-14 04:00:34 · 24 answers · asked by Just here. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was also telling me he could find someone so much better than me and that I was a whore....almost every bad thing you can say to your wife he said. i actually asked him if he thought he could do better and he started laughing like a crazy man.
2007-04-14 04:02:50 · update #1
He also knew everything about my past the first month we started dating....so its not like anything new has cam up..
2007-04-14 04:45:40 · update #2
your husband needs professional help. he has some deep trouble and leaving it will lead to a worse outcome as they will dwell and emerge again and again. dont give up on him now. if you really love him, help him. take him to a proffesional psychologist. also try to (nicely) create borders around yourself, create a territory of privacy around yourself and agree with him that this area should not be breeched, this will regain your respect and esteem in your relationship and help YOU resolve the issue of disrespect and mistrust that has happened. this will even help you do better at helping him.
2007-04-14 04:18:46 · answer #1 · answered by shasha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe, you should look into getting an annullment. You don't want to stay married to someone who is going to talk to you like that. If you have only been married for 2months, then things will only get worse. He should not even be worried over a dream and should not have ruined your personal belongings. I would be very angry and feel you have lost all trust in him. You can get an annullment if you have been married less than 6 months, I think. Call an attorney and find out. Don't stay married to someone like that, he is emotionally abusing you and before long your self esteem will be very low. Be careful.
2007-04-14 04:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by Shanna h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Called you everything in the book? Don't believe 1/3 of it ! He obviously has some internal fears that are eating away at him, and sounds like he just snapped. Conquering whatever those fears are will save your marriage, but letting them continue will probably get worse.
I know it isn't the thing he may want to hear, but it might be best for him to see a psychologist to help him find out what the issue(s) is/are, because searching directly he may not find them on his own.
2007-04-14 04:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mist_02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont really have anything to go to the authorities with but Id be very careful around this man. It sounds like it doesnt take very much for him to snap, especially if a dream set him off. He sounds very possessive and jealous of you so anytime anyplace anything you do or say will set him off. He needs professional helpbut I seriously doubt if he will agree to the fact that he has aproblem lone less seek any kind of help. What scares me most is if he can do that kind of damage to those pics what kind of damage is he capable of to you if he really gets upset.. Your best bet would be to get out of this relationship while you still can but thats totally up to you as only you can decide whether youre better off with or without him. Either way be very careful around him and dont be afraid to alert the authorities if he gets out of hand. There is no reason why anyone should have to put up with this. Good luck
2007-04-14 04:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow 2 months thats absolutly crazy i say you have every right to be mad about the pics and he has no right to judge you on your past over a dream! it was just a dream! tell him he needs to get over it that you are married now and that you love him! my husband had a dream simular to that he told me about but it was just a dream and there is no possible way that the dream he had is anywhere near the truth! He knows that! I don't blame you for acting different in front of your husband however for calling you all those names and saying he could do better what kind of crap is that! i would talk to him wait i would probably yell but try talking first! tell him how you feel tell him your hurt by the whole situation! Be honest with him and tell him you expect him to be honest about his feeling towards it too! He sounds a little childish to me. I don't mean to be rude but he knew you were married before
2007-04-14 04:13:41 · answer #5 · answered by Kelsie R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh goodness! i'm no longer positive i ought to flow once a month... Has he consistently been this form? i ought to have such truly some questions if he hasn't "consistently" been like this. i understand from 2 of my sister-in-regulations that both one among my brothers were once a month form of adult adult males. My oldest brother went so a strategies as going to his pcp and a therapist to make certain why his sexcontinual replaced into so low. there are quite a few motives for a guy of that age to have little choose for making love, yet when that's meddling at the same time with your sexual want i ought to assert some thing or ask if he should be keen to make certain a professional? i ought to notwithstanding be in touch if this habit is a few thing new... i ought to suspect that he replaced into dishonest or being unfaithful? And by technique of dishonest i do not mean that he's inevitably having "sex" with yet another woman, yet i should be careful. sturdy success to you and your sex life!! :D
2016-12-04 00:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scary....SCARY... you need to pack your sh*t and move out ASAP.. this is the first sign of physical mental abuse... right now you have your dignity, and self esteem... If you're going to maintain it... you need to walk away as quickly as possible... I have a sense this guy was a "fixer upper" when you fell in love... that he "needed" you... and that in all liklihood you've probably known each other for less than a year... It's easy to be "someone else" for about a year... after that... the false "skin" has to be shed and they become who they really are... the guy you fell in love with and married doesn't exist anymore, he was a mask for "this guy" so don't feel like your walking out on someone you love... that person only existed in order to "capture and destroy" you.
of course he'll be sincere, and regretful... until it happens again... and the cycle will continue... look up "cycles of abuse" or "signs of an abusive spouse" ... be confident and walk away
2007-04-14 04:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by alex b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's tearing you down and while he's doing that he's making himself feel stronger. If he does all this over a dream you need to get out and fast. He's shown no respect or trust for you. Divorce him before he can do real damage to you.
2007-04-14 04:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by mommyof2greatkids 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everybody gets jelous. It's just natural. But his behavior is hurtful. There's boundaries to be made because those outbursts are unnecessary. Especially when you are being faithful to him. You are acting depressed because something important needs to be addressed. Good luck. I hope things can be resolved.
2007-04-14 04:13:19 · answer #9 · answered by phantom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is insecure about the relationship. Sometimes men use the divorce card to gain control over the relationship. Does your husband have friends? Is he happy with his job? Sometimes when men feel unaccomplished with work and they don't have a close network of friends they become jealous of a wife.
2007-04-14 04:30:57 · answer #10 · answered by MTNS24 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋