Is there anyone out there that has had this problem being pregnant?

Question

I'm 24 and pregnant by a guy from my college class. I did find out he's back with his ex wife. I know he's saying he's going to support me through this pregnancy, but again I know it's all a lie so I won't take him to court. Which I will anywayz. Anyways I'm falling into a deep depression it seems like. Some days I just cry because I hate the fact that I can't change any thing. He lied to me about loving me for the past 3 years. He said he was sorry for being so stupid and not coming clean when he moved back in with his ex, but he had fallen into a financial issue and didn't want anyone knowing. Such a lie.... I don't know if I'm going to get through my days sometimes.... Does anyone else that's been pregnant or is pregnant gone through these feelings? I don't know what to do... I feel alone....

Answer 1

I'm sorry you are going through all this at this time in your life when you should be happy. Let me tell you about me. I was with my husband before we got married, we were just living together. I started seeing lies all over the place with him. Just all the time, but I stayed with him because I had found out I was pregnant. Since then, we have married and had another baby. He is still the same liar he was then, and I am facing the prospect of divorce and being a single mother. So look at it this way, the guy has shown his true colors now, and you can make a clean break. Forget listening to him telling you that he will suport you, actions speak louder than words. You need to realize that you are going to be a single mother at first and start getting your stuff in order to do so. You need to establish a good support system for yourself through friends, family, and reach out to new poeple. Look around online and try to join local playgroups and moms groups. I have a few in my area, and they are a wonderful resource for friendship, support and advice. I know how it can feel to be pregnant and you think you are stuck. You're not. This is the choice you have made, and you are going to be a mommy. That is the most wonderful thing in the world, you'll see. Your baby is going to come and fill your heart with so much love, you will long forget this feeling now. You will still need adult supoort though, so get out there and make those contacts. If you live in Fl, email me, and I'll be someone you can talk to. This man is not good for you. If he loved you, he would be with you and your baby, not living with his ex and lying about it. The sooner you see that and start to move on, the better off you and your baby will be. Best wishes to you!

Answer 2

he should be ashamed with himself for doing this to you. I would make sure that you do take him to court and get something out of him. When you are pregnant you have so many feelings that you are alone and you don't know what to do. When I had my first child I was in a city that I had no family and was there because of my job. All I had done for three years was that job and it was very demanding. I would work sometimes 70-80 hours a week. I knew nobody outside of my job and it was a very high turn over so people came and went alot. I was very scared because my fiance and i were living in charlotte when we found out and the very next day we were both transfered to another city. i was so scared and felt so alone because I had no family to see or help me when I felt alone. You should talk to your doctor about getting some help with the depression if you don't think that you can make it through some days. I made it through just fine I started excepting that I was in a new city and had to make a new life for my new little family. You aren't alone alot of women feel so different when they are pregnant because you watch your body completely change and it can be very weird at times. I wish you the best and I would make sure that this guys x new all about you and the child. So he gets no escaping the fact that he has a responsiblity to you and your child

Answer 3

I think you should really try to be happy, your baby is going to come into this world soon and she/he needs all the love you can give him. I know it seems like you are alone now, but when your baby comes into the world it is like nothing else matters, just making sure they are happy. I suggest you find a support system, having a newborn is quite hard, especially after having birth. Those first few days are so tiresome, you will really need some help. Try to find a friend, relative that can stay with you the first few days, if you ex-man isn't going to be there. I suggest you also become friendly with your ex's wife or whatever, because if he does take responsibility she will be in the babies life. Hopefully you can all act mature about this situation and work things out. My mother was 16 when she had me my father was way gone. It was extremely hard for her, she had no help, no support system, and later I was taken away by Children's Aid. If you feel like you are going to be depressed and not be able to provide adequate care for your child please give them up for adoption, place their happiness above yours. If you decide to keep your baby, I hope you can work things out. Do not worry there are so many more men out there, some with or without children of their own that you can and will fall in love with. Good luck, take care, and do not be ashamed to ask for help :D

Answer 4

I am 27 years old and I am 11 weeks pregnant. I am doing this on my own because the guy already has two kids and he is not finished "playing the field." I think the best thing to do is just realize that your pregnancy is something that should be viewed as a beautiful thing. As hard as it may be, you need to start thinking about what is best for the baby. Hopefully you have a good support group of friends and family that can help you through this time. It would be good to talk about your feelings with them. Sometimes, once you have a good shoulder to lean on, you will be able to see the silver lining on this cloud.

Answer 5

If I were you I would take him to court and get that child support because, if he is lying to you now what makes you think that he is going to support it? If he denies it get a paternity test for the courts. You are pregnant depression is normal and their is help for depression especially in pregnant women and tell your obgyn, because they can help in the depression part.I may not have went through what you are going through , but ask yourself this, is he really worth being depressed over? You are about to have a baby and this should be the happiest time for you.You are not alone you just need to find someone to talk with that has been through it and talk with them I am just telling you what I would do.If this man really loves you, you would be married right now and not be so down about everything that is coming.You can completly change this situation and it is called revenge by getting him to pay child support and by making him be a father even if he doesn't want to.Be proud of who you are get some self confidence and do something about that man.More power to you and good luck and May God Bless you. I hope that you can find the support that you need to get through this and good luck to you.

Hope this helps

Answer 6

When I was pregnant with my first, my boyfriend cheated on me and left me for the other women and moved in with her. I was depressed and cryed all the time. I got through it, but it was a ruff road. All I'm saying is you'll live and you'll move on, but right now it seems that your world is falling in on you. Just take it one day at a time, when the baby is born and those feelings of sadness and depression are lifted you will see that you and your baby are better off with just each other. Your baby deserves the best and apparently he can't give that to him or her. I am with a man now that loves my son as his own and my son loves him. I have a beautiful daughter and am expecting a third and life is wonderful!! Looking back it was a blessing in disguise! I hope I helped a little, I will be praying for you.
God Bless

Answer 7

You are in an awkward situation and I know you think you are alone, but you are not. If you are still in college, I would seek some support. Do you have family? At this time, family and friends can be your greatest support. I would suggest that you do not - absolutely do not - allow this situation to consume you. Your first thought should be for the happiness and safety of yourself and your baby. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your baby's conception and birth, you are the mother and the sole responsible person who will provide love and support to this child. Please find other mothers/support groups who can help you stay firm and positive. You must take care of yourself. Do you belong to a church? You are never alone - there are plenty of young women who are facing the same situation. But you don't want to sit around and 'dog out daddies' - that is not going to help your case. Try to be positive and look forward to this new life you are bringing into the world. My prayers are with you.

Answer 8

depression is normal I went through the same thing. hang out with friends and family and let them help you through this trying time. There will come a day when you will meet that man that will love you and this baby more than the world. Hang on in there, it WILL happen, when you least expect it. If you want go to myspace I am sarahdoll I would love to talk to you through this.

Answer 9

It will be hard and yes you will struggle. but to be honest everyone struggles from time to time in life no matter how old you are. Keeping the baby is the only thing that will make you truelly happy since you yourself said you would never be happy with killing it or giving it to someone else. If you have everyone supportive of you well except your mom. then you will be fine. Im sure you and your boyfriend can work things out for the baby.

Answer 10

Just know if he did this to you once he may very well do it again. And if he did it to you chances are he will do it to his ex-wife AGAIN. He may come back to you, you just have to decide, is it worth the risk to you and now to a baby as well, to go through that heartache again? Once you deal with that you will be fine. Make your decisions and stand by them. Good or bad they will make you grow and growing will make you a better parent for this baby.
You are NOT alone!