Do you think small children should be taken to funerals?

Answer 1

It truly is a situational question, considering:
How close is the child to the deceased person?
Is it an open casket/is there a viewing of the body?
Is the body disfigured in any way as to alarm the child?
Do you personally think the child is capable handling the funeral procession?

I have been to several funerals since I was a young child, and truly have never been frightened because my family confronted deaths with sentiments of sorrow rather than fear, and I have been brought up in that environment.

However, there are many people I know who cannot deal with funerals, up to this day. The thought of dead bodies disturb some of my friends up to points of swooning, and so I cannot say it would be wise to take that sort of person to the funeral, even at a 'mature' age.

But in the end, it really does depend on the child.

Answer 2

A thought provoking question, and even though death is such a natural part in the scheme of things, really depends on the emotional development of child and circumstances, as to whether a child should go to a funeral home or a funeral.
From personal experience can say, we were very careful with our children. Spouse and I were taken to a funeral home to view a grandparent which we hadn't seen in awhile and the impact was negative on both of us. We took our children to the funeral home and explained why we were there but never forced them view anyone, no matter how close the relative. The only time we had a problem was when there was a funeral service for a relative that was cremated and the children wanted to know where the body was. They had previously been to a funeral and expected a full body to be there.

Answer 3

Yes, I come from a large family- my mom is the youngest of 8 kids (and youngest by 12 years). Over the years she has lost most of her siblings and their spouses. I can remember going to funerals when I was very young and I'm glad. Children need to be taught what it's all about, they need to know the proper procedures. I don't necessarily think it's appropriate to have them at the funeral home all night long (unless it is immediate family). I was just as calling hours and a funeral this week and there were little children there, they needed a chance to grieve for their Grandpa.
I think little kids are a lot smarter than most people give them credit for. They know when something is up and many need that chance to say goodbye in their own way.

Having always gone to funerals and calling hours I ... well... got used to it I guess. I mean don't get me wrong it's sad every time and my heartaches for the families and it's very hard on me when it's my family, but if I had never been exposed to them I can only imagine how uncomfortable it would make me. My boyfriend has only been to a few, and they were for immediate family, so any he goes to with me end up being especially hard because the only memories of funerals he has are the ones that hurt the worst.

I will say there is one place that little children do not belong and I must applaud my cousin on her decision. When I was 15 my aunt died from Lung and Breast Cancer. My cousin (also a niece to this aunt) is actually 14 years older than me and has three children. We were all very close to this particular aunt and we were all at the hospital when she passed. At the time My mom, my cousin (my aunt's daughter), her husband, my other aunt, other various cousins, went in to give my aunt a final goodbye. My mom made me go, she enouraged me to kiss my aunt on the forehead. Now, I love my aunt dearly, and I miss her still, but that was the creepiest thing I ever did. She did not look anything like the woman I had known for years. I hated my mom for making me do it. My cousin (with the 3 kids) decided much to the dismay of her children that they could NOT go in and see our Aunt like that. I'm often jealous, they get to remember her how she was, the vibrant woman with puffy, curly hair, never without lipstick, while I'm haunted with a ghostly image of a stranger. Long story short ;) Try to let little kids have the best memories possible. It's very hard for us, as adults, to watch our loved ones become- not themselves, and we should not let our children experience that until they absolutely have to.

Wow, that was a long answer to a simple question.

Answer 4

I remember going to a family member's funeral at a young age - it had a deep impact on me. Nonetheless, I needed to go. The answer is 'Yes'. Children need to learn that death is a part of life. I would suggest one thing - not to let the child see the open casket body...this is one memory I wish I could forget.

Answer 5

Yes definately, not babies but little children for sure, they understand life and death a lot more than we think, so long as you explain to them what has happened in a loving and caring manner, they will, be fine, in one off the magazines I read it was either That's Life or Take 5, a reader suggest to the little ones to draw a picture and or write a letter to the loved one who has passed, attach it to a helium filled balloon, and there loved one will receive there "present" in heaven and know that they are loved, the kids seem to cope better and the adults also do too, cause they are helping the littlies, I hope this helps you, I know it worked for our family so goodluck to you!

Answer 6

each funeral that I truly have attended, the casket has been closed previous to the putting out of the funeral. i'm no longer a believer of taking small little ones to funerals, as they have an inclination to make noise and distract from the service. i imagine that they should be left with sitters or inspite of. Regards, Dan

Answer 7

No, I dont.I remeber when I was young I went to a funeral and was scared to death! I do not attend funerals to this day because of that.If a child understands and is mature enough then I would leave the decision to them :)

Answer 8

I remember part of a funeral that happened when I was 6. I don't think I understood what was happening, but I wasn't scared or traumatized. I think that 6 is ok, their questions should be answered truthfully if they have any.

Answer 9

YES!!!!! It is better when you expose them to these occasions so that they may be able to cope up with the situation. As long as you are not telling them that the dead will haunt them in their sleep, they should be fine attending funerals. But be careful, be sensitive enough to know if they are feeling uncomfortable, might cause them trauma/nightmare if you know what I mean

Answer 10

Yes. Especially if they know the person, and what take place at the funeral is explained to them ahead of time, it won't be so uncomfortable for them.