Losing touch with a friend - Should I call them out of the blue?

Question

I lost touch with a friend (who I thought was one of the greatest friends ever) awhile ago. I'd say around Fall of 2006 was when we stopped talking. I'm not sure what happend, but we stopped talking. A week or so after we did stop talking, I called, but there was no answer. Maybe that friend suddenly didn't bother as much to pick up my calls anymore. You know, the more closer you get to someone the easier it is to blow them off. But after two more times of trying to contact that friend (that would now total into one call and two text messages) and not getting a response, I gave up.

So now, I'm thinking of contacting that friend again. Should I? I still feel betrayed, don't get me wrong, since I thought we were such good friends, but I was thinking of inviting that friend to dinner and at least get closure, since I wanna ask in a joking manner (so there's no negative tension) why that friend stopped talking to me.

So should I or should I just leave it as it is and move on?

Answer 1

Yes call ! what a good idea. dont let your friends fall to the way side

Answer 2

I can understand why you feel let down by this person. It's reasonable to expect to see less of friends when we develop a serious relationship, but Claire seems to have cut you off completely until she needed your support. To seemingly abandon you when you in your own hour of need was rather heartless. Any half decent friend would have at least spent a little time with you on your birthday. You seem to be gaining very little from this friendship other than a sense of worthlessness when she appears on the scene when she needs support yet avoids you when you need the same. I can see why you feel she's invited you to her wedding to make up numbers. Personally, I would turn down the invitation. Don't make any fuss, simply say you'd love to come but you're busy. Either that or you could go and enjoy the free party and not worry about the friendship at all? It's your call. Best wishes :-)

Answer 3

If the freind feels pressured by you in anyway they will continue to ignore you, becasue that easier when your young.

You may have done or said something without even realising. A true friend wouldnt stop talking to you for no reason, there is definately more to this than meets the eye.

Would I be right in thinking its a female freind and that perhaps you liked her more than friends? Just wondering

Try and call them. You must let them know that yur not angry or upset so as not to intimidate them/her, (whichever) If they think u may be upset they will probably ignore you to avoid conflict.

Let them know you would love ot catch up sometime and have a chat or dinner or coffee, no pressure, just a catch up kind of thing. Tell them your interested in how they are doing.

Also be aware the reason you stopped speaking abruptly may be something which is nothing to do with you, if its a she, she may have got a boyfriend and he may have been jelous, so she stop conversing with you. There are a million reasons here. she may have moved or changed numbers even. Dont presume - find out!

Ask her out for coffee, be empathetic, be caring and no pressure.

If she says no or doesnt respond, know you have done your best and move on and let her know you will be there if she ever needs you. Then leave it.

Either way. Goodluck :)

Answer 4

Ya know, I have the same problem. I have/had a really good freind for over 4 years, then one day she just stopped taking my calls. She would have her daughter or boyfreind take a messege but I would never get a response. So every now and then I will still call her house even though the phone is disconnected.
Before she stopped talking to me, I had found out I was pregnant, and then I found out by her, that she was doing drugs and didnt want me to know it. So what I am getting at, is that your freind knows where you live, knows your phone number, just let it go, they will come around if they desire too. Maybe this is your freinds way of not getting you involved with their personal live, or maybe they have some thing going on and they need space. Hope this at least puts another perspective on why they wont contact you. Good luck!

Answer 5

Looks like I am slowly heading in this same situation...except I know the reason why we are growing apart..but thats another story..I think since this seems to be something that is really bothering me, you do need some closure..but the closure does not have to come from meeting them in person and going out to dinner..I would say call your friend and if he/she does not pick up, leave a voicemail saying: "I have been trying to reach you, but have not had any luck..I would like to talk to you sometime if you are willing to, I would appreciate it if you would give me a call back"..just something as simple as that so you know you tried to reconncect with that friend..that is as much closure as is necessary and that is pretty much all you can do since your friend won't call you back. Good luck! :o)

Answer 6

Don't ever let go of a friend unless you're totally convinced that you don't care for each other anymore. If you really think that it's no longer worth a try, then you wouldn't have posted this question in the first place. So go ahead and call that friend.

Answer 7

There r many scenerios to why he is not calling u bak. I for one am horrible about staying in touch because I hate talking on the phone and nvr know wat to say aftr not talking to my old friends for a long time. Usually the person will think about calling but keep laying it of since they think it will just b awkard or the person will get mad 4 not calling more. I think u should call the person again if they do not call bak. I am sure he just is bad at keeping connections.

Answer 8

It's your fault anyway. You should have told her if you cared at all. The problem was that she thought you didn't want her to call and bother you anymore, so she stopped calling you. Now she is hurt because you never called her back everytime she asked you to. This hurts very much. You really should have told her that you wasn't that into her, maybe she would have quit calling you a little sooner. She felt she wasn't in your league. Why do you think she kept making up all those little excuses to call you in the first place? It's your loss now. Too Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

If it was me I would continue to try to contact the person if I was thinking about them. I wouldn't assume the worse. Maybe there is a reason they are on your mind and they actually need you right now because they are in a tough situation. I would just call and ask straight up. Why worry and fret?

Answer 10

Definately. Those moments are the greatest when either a friend calls you or you call a friend. Remember that you might be making that persons day. Things happen and people get over certain things. Don't worry what will happen will happen.

Answer 11

I think you should be the bigger person & call. If they still don't pick up then I guess you have no choice but to move on. You will never know though, & if you think that friend is worth trying to get back, then you should try.