We are going thru a divorce, she decided to get a new boyfriend (which she has moved in with my 2 kids along with another couple) and her dad. All of hem smoke dope, and snort coke.
My kids tell me they are made to go to their room all the time. my guess is that they can smoke their dope. My kids tell me everything. This new boyfriend and her are sleeping together. My kids do not like this.or them.
I can not afford a lawyer but learned enough to file a petition for divorce and custody. I will be representing myself. I have learned a lot. Since she was served papers, she has called me threatened me on the phone which I recorded and reported to the police. They arrested her. How can I get my kids out of her possesion? since we have no legal custody yet, I know I can go pull them out of school (Would I look bad for doing this) I am trying to do everything legal. I still would have to bring them back to school. Then it just puts the kids in a worst situation. What do I do?
2007-04-13 17:29:50 · 17 answers · asked by Bones 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been on the same job for 7 years, I have a stable home and love my kids.
2007-04-13 17:31:15 · update #1
she was released the kids stayed with her dad, I was not called.
2007-04-13 17:38:21 · update #2
Child services told me that while drugs were illegal they were not abusive. can you believe that.
2007-04-13 17:45:20 · update #3
OK.....i live in Kansas and we have Kansas legal services its an income based thing where the state will help you w/ a lawyer look into that first......pulling them out of school and hiding might not be the best thing to do it could look bad on you in court.......but if you pulled them out of school and then filed right away that for temp. custody that would be the best thing.........and when you do go to court you will need so kind of evidence of what you are accusing her of or the judge will not even hear it i am sure you know ppl will accuse others of just about anything when it comes down to fighting for their kids........also the best thing to do really is to try and get her to agree on some stuff i mean if she is really wanting ot live the party life maybe she doesn't even want the kids but doesn't want to be made 2 pay child support if that's something you can live w/o then tell her that......doing it alone is going 2 be hard really hard if she has a lawyer just call around some lawyers do payment plans you really need one ot back you up. also i am not sure how old ur kids are but if they were to tell someone like a school counselor what was going on at home the counselor is by law supposed to report that.......good luck w/ it and i hope where ever your from you can find someone 2 help you fight this
a soldiers wife
2007-04-13 18:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by thehendersons_3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if what you're saying is true it really sounds like the children need to be removed from this situation asap i don't know that there is a really clean way to do this divorces and child custody battles are just ugly if your name is on the birth certificates you can take the children from school and theres nothing she can say about it until you two go to court and get something worked out there so that is always an option i would suggest maybe doing that and trying to keep them out of that environment as long as you can also you need to look into your community for a court appointed attorney you really need someone to help you with this case sorry to tell you but you're probably not going to get far representing yourself also you should probably contact child services about the drugs being used in the home around the children and have that checked out if they find stuff most likely the children will come to you if they aren't already with you and then there will be a record of what is going on in that home -best wishes to your family !
2007-04-13 17:51:45 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the biological father she is breaking the law by not allowing you to see your children. You must report this to the police and child services you have a right to visit your children and unless she has full custody she hasn't the right
to refuse you visitation. Call a family lawyer and just ask a few general questions and see where you stand I would fight for full custody children do not deserve to be raised in an environment like that. Take your recordings and other information with you to court and place it in evidence that she is unfit to be mothering your children, she abuses drugs has
BF's that are not nice to the kids eetc get as much info as you can to battle because Judges always side with the mother unless you got strong evidence proving that she is unfit and the children are at risk.
God Bless and Good Luck!
2007-04-13 17:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will take some time to resolve. The drug use around the kids IS a big deal. Assuming you are clean, you should ask to judge to require hair testing. It'll show drug use going back for about six months. When the courts know she's a druggie, and you aren't, you should be able to get custody. Also, if your children are older, like teens, their wishes will be considered when custody is decided. Good luck. May I also say that it's good that your question is about your children. You are being a responsible Dad. We need more guys like you.
2007-04-14 04:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always go get the kids out of school and then move them where she cannot find them until a Custody hearing is heard. Since there has not been a hearing yet, she cannot file charges against you for getting them. You have as much right to them as she does and your Kids deserve a good home and enviroment.
2007-04-13 17:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the situation is that bad, then i would alert social services on the wife. Let them know that you are looking out for the best interest of the children. They may be able to help quite a bit. You provide a more stable home environment in this particular instance. Drug use and unstable, violent, threatening behavior makes her unfit. I would recommend picking them up from school and DEMANDING a drug test of your ex.
Also, call legal aid in your area. They may be able to help you as well. And get family to help!
2007-04-13 17:40:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anah B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your wife has court ordered custody, you can legally take your kids anytime you want to. You are not required to let her see them. Only if someone has legal court ordered custody, then either parent can take the child.
IN the mean time, get a lawyer! and file custody paperwork
2007-04-13 18:30:48 · answer #7 · answered by SKITTLES 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude you need to call an atty in your area that can give you a free consult. do not go to court with out an atty. this will get really messy. and i would keep calling children's services because i know in Ohio if you test positive for drugs kids are gone. you may even find an atty that will let you make them payments if paying them is a problem. and yes since neither of you have settled the custody i think you can take them out of school. because legally you both are their parents. but dude call an atty because you are going to need one unless you want to loose your kids and your @ss. and keep on children's services even if you have to go to a supervisor or higher. if they still don't do anything call whoever is over children's services (which i think is the state) and report them for not doing their job tell them your kids are in danger (which is not a lie). but do not represent yourself in the divorce. you will loose if you do. sorry but i had to play kind of the same game with my daughter and i had to take her kids for similar reasons plus some.(sexually abused) by their father who did drugs and so did mom and she knew all this was going on. so i pray you get someone to help you i don't want to see happen to your kids what happen to my granddaughters. good luck man, your gonna need it! :)
p.s. also unless your wife knew you was recording her (in Ohio at least) they are not admisable in court. so they may or may not help you just depends what state your in.
2007-04-13 18:01:38 · answer #8 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your ex- wife about the dangerous of what the drugs could o to your kids. I think you should tell the police- they wouldn't like that people are doing drugs around kids! Before that threaten your ex- wife that you'll take the kids.
2007-04-14 08:12:04 · answer #9 · answered by Autumn H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her *** busted again and again and again. Sounds to me like you could easily destroy her in court. Do it!!! Get your kids away from that trashy tramp!!!
I have 3 kids of my own and the wife and I are getting divorced....she knows full well if she pulled some crap like this I would make her wish she NEVER knew me. I wish you the very best of luck man!!!!
I dont know where you are from but Ive lived in Ohio and now NY and know either one of those states would snatch those kids from her in a heart beat if your statements could be proven.
2007-04-13 17:43:28 · answer #10 · answered by rainisadog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋