Should I have another baby?

Question

My first child is almost 6 and I want another baby so bad I have vivid dreams about it (sometimes a boy and sometimes a girl), I am definately hearing the gong of my biological clock, I'm a few months from 30, but our finances are not where we would like them to be and I am afraid of gaining weight I can't lose ( i am thin and look great now, but I worry about that changing, I know it is vain, but it's honest) and it seems that the more I wnat a baby the more afraid I become and come up with more excuses... I know this is a question I and my husband can only answer ourselves, and he is definately on board about having nother one, but I guess I just want to hear the opinions of others to help me make my decision.

So far a lot of the responses have been so helpful and supportive of my dillemna, but I do want to comment that I am not more concerned about my figure than being a parent or would EVER blame my children for my aing. I'm simply not that cold. I am concerned about providinf the life I hope my children to have, being able to manage the stress of motherhood and feel good about my appearance all at the same time. I know I brought up the weight thing, and it is important to me, but I would never hold any deeriaoration (if any) of my life or appearance against anyone, certainly my own child. I think I am just afraid of change. Including my body, which I have come to terms with since my daughter 5 1/2years ago. Please don't mistake my question.

So far a lot of the responses have been so helpful and supportive of my dillemna, but I do want to comment that I am not more concerned about my figure than being a parent or would EVER blame my children for my aging. I'm simply not that cold. I am concerned about providing the life I hope my children to have, being able to manage the stress of motherhood and feel good about my appearance all at the same time. I know I brought up the weight thing, and it is important to me, but I would never hold any deterioration (if any) of my life or appearance against anyone, certainly my own child. I think I am just afraid of change. Including my body, which I have come to terms with since my daughter's birth 5 1/2 years ago. Please don't mistake my question.

Answer 1

I think you should really consider having another baby. If you eat healthy and exercise somewhat while pregnant, you won't gain an enormous amount of weight. My mom didn't eat well at all with my brother and gained 60 pounds, 3 years later with me she did things differently and ate well and stayed active and only gained 13 pounds with me, and lost all of that before she left the hospital and then lost an additional 15 in the 3 weeks following me. That was 23 years ago, but still it goes to show if you do things a little different it will be ok. Not to mention I was the healthier of the two of us. I would definately suggest having a baby now as opposed to waiting when your first child gets too much older. My husband and his brother are 11 years apart. It makes it very hard on his mom because when she had one graduating high school, the other was starting 2nd grade. You want them to be able to be there for each other, and not so much like the older one is responsible for the younger one, because I know that my brother inlaw goes to my husband for things that he should be asking his parents about. I'm sorry for writing you a book, I just believe that children need each other, and nothing against an only child, it just makes it easier on them growing up when there are at least two. My brother and I are 3 years apart, and I am so grateful for him. Not to mention you want to do it before you get to the stage that you don't feel like chasing a toddler anymore. Good luck in your decision, I hope I was a little bit helpful.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You'll never be able to "afford" a family, much less yourself if you think of it in monetary terms.
As far as your physical appearance... Keep it up... I looked great through all of my pregnancies. I kept living life actively, the same I would when I wasn't pregnant.
Yes, "things" and "physical appearance" are shallow IMO.

Raising a family is a choice and sacrifice is what comes along with raising a family.

I wonder, when you one day lay on your death bed...will you regret the 'things" you didn't have or your womans figure after childbirth?? Or will you smile with all the precious thoughts of memories of the time you shared with those you loved??? Your husband and child(ren), etc...

I know how I'd answer that question.....Nevertheless, a "family" doesn't necessarily consist of a houseful of children either. It's a personal choice for everyone and this one is definitely you and your husbands. ;o)

Answer 4

my children are six years apart and it is good i also wanted another child for the longest time and it took a while to conceive but im glad i have my two kids. and if yall can afford i would say stop all birth control and see what happens. just dont eat too much while pg to avoid gaining a lot of weight. youre supposed to eat and exercise just as you normally do while pg. also breastfeeding helps to lose weight once the baby is born and it will save on formula costs. formula is about 40-60 bucks a week diapers about the same daycare is 400-600 a month i live in tx it might be different where u live. i say go for it. good luck
try babycenter.com bulletin boards there great

Answer 5

I believe the weight gain thing won't be a problem. The reason women gain weight from having multiple children is because they gain, 5kg with the first, don't lose that weight... have another child and gain another 5kg, etc. That you are skinny now means it is unlikely you would get fat from having one more child.

If you keep finding new excuses, you need to find your underlying fear and deal with that. What exactly are you trying to avoid doing? Are you afraid you won't be able to cope with the stress?

Answer 6

It sounds like you are more concerned about your figure than being a parent. Part of life is our bodies changing.

I fear you will blame the child for you ageing which is natural and normal.

Answer 7

my advice is not to have another baby as first of all Ur finances are not in the best level and u know now days educating a child is so expensive .

Answer 8

If I can be honest, it sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself out of having another baby. And that is fine!

Answer 9

you are right. Only you and your husband can answer that question.

Your body needs at least a year to recover from having a baby.

Answer 10

no