is it fair that just because i live close to my family that they send their kids over to my house every weekend and some times during the week. i'am married and have five kids.as you can see i've got my hands full.iwork in the day time and my husband works at night . i try to keep my kids from making noise during the day so he can get enough sleep so he wont be tired when he go to work that night. and after i work all day i just want to chill.am i wrong to want a little quiet time for my self.
2007-04-13 14:19:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey penny i have a friend who goes through this on a regular basis and i'm going to tell you what i told her. tell them you don't want any extra kids at your house and that you have your own life and just b/c they live close they can just "dump" theirs at your house. i tell you what lock your doors and tell your kids not to let anyone in b/c you don't feel like being bothered. your family is being selfish and not respecting you. i know it's hard to stand up to those you love but the time has come for you to learn the word NO and use it. after a few no's they may get the hint. best wishes.
2007-04-14 01:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by freedom fighter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, no it is NOT fair. You have every right to want some quiet time for yourself, and should or you will go CRAZY!!! Your are obviously very fun to be with or they wouldn't want to come hang out at your place all of the time. You need to nip this in the bud, before it goes any farther. Explain that although you love your nieces, nephews, etc. You and your family need time to yourselves. maybe say "on Saturdays we are unavailable but you can come over on "place a day here" Then send your kids over to one of their houses so you and your hubby can have some peace and quiet for a couple of hours.
Good Luck! Hope you get some time to relax!!!
2007-04-13 22:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult. Set your rules and stand behind them. With five kids of your own you do not have time to have your family walk all over your personal and private time. Learn how to make ground rules and say no. Special circumstances, no problem, if it works into your schedule. You have allowed them for some reason to think they can invade your space. Change the rules and pay no mind to these insensitive family members. This is your life. Make it right and don't take any guilt tickets
2007-04-13 21:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not fair at all. I think you should set some boundaries with your family and let them know that they should respect your hectic life and that you need some privacy sometimes too. Unfortunately, they may view you as a pushover otherwise they would not continue to take advantage of you. Maybe once you speak up they will realize they are treating you unfairly and stop using you. You shouldn't expect change unless you ask for it! Good luck!
2007-04-13 21:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, but they are taking advantage of you because you let them. It's time for you to set some boundaries for your family. Tell them when, how often, and it what circumstances it is okay for them to send their kids over to your house. Then send their kids back if they come at any time they are not supposed to. You have to be tough, but you don't need to be unkind. Just be matter of fact. That's part of what it takes to be a grown up.
Best wishes.
2007-04-13 21:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by happygirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you say something, your house is the family hang out.
Maybe come up with a time share where the kids hang out at a different house every night.
2007-04-13 21:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like YOU are creating an unfair situation for yourself. Just tell your relatives no and find a time that does work for you. If it is your husband that is inviting the children over and making your watch them, you will need to communicate that with him. It isn't fair if he is agreeing to watch the children withour your enthusiastic agreement.
2007-04-13 21:29:46 · answer #7 · answered by TL 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to speak up and take a stand your family are taking advantage of you, i dont think they would like it if it was the other way around. they need to see things from your point, not their own selfish point. good luck. dealing with family is difficult, and they always know how to make you feel guilty, stand up for yourself or otherwise you'll burn out, and thats not good for you, and your kids.
2007-04-13 21:29:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to want a little quiet time for yourself and you should insist on it.
2007-04-13 21:27:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you such a door mat that you can't simply send them back home? Nobody can take advantage of you, unless you allow it. soooo, stop allowing it.
2007-04-14 14:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋