About 6 months ago my bf and I split up after 8 years. While we were together he would go out night after night with his friends while I stayed home with our boys. He has a great job and figured he could come and go as long as we were provided for. But so many things happened, I would find numbers,girls photos and even condoms in his car. No matter what happened he had an excuse and I would just go with it.
Not proudly I found comfort in someone else. He listened to me and cared about what I would say or felt, it wasn't a sexual relationship but romantic. I ended things before it got too deep.My bf found out months later.He and I broke up and in this time I started seeing someone, when he found out he was threatening suicide so i went back. I love my boys and could not let them grow up without their Dad. My problem is I don't feel the same. He is very controlling now, he searches my purse and phone and even gets mad if I stay awake if he goes to bed. I love him but I can't do this
2007-04-13 14:02:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is being paranoid, not soley because of your past behavior but because of how devious he has been....he knows payback can be just as bad, and knowing that there is someone else willing to replace him is upsetting to his ego..you really need to make a serious decision here, one that you can live with because as soon as you give him the confidence that your not leaving him...he will revert back to his old ways...he has proven he can disrespect you and the kids with infidelity with others...do whats best for you and the kids..don't factor him in the pic....unless you think he is the best you can do...and we both know he isn't...its your call.
2007-04-13 14:16:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to get out of this relationship. He is abusive. I was married for sixteen years to an abusive man. I had two boys and I done the same thing. I went back and it got worst. He was screwing around on you the same as mine. I found comfort in someone else. He just wants the control and when he loses it he will tell you he will commit suicide well let him because do you want to be with a person like that and do you want your boys around him. They will end up doing the same thing because they are watching it. The problem is the are learning everything from the two of you and you dont want them becoming teenagers with that kind of anger in them. Take it from someone who knows. It takes alot away from you when you stay in a relationship like that. Please get out before he really hurts you or your kids. I was hurt and I got charges against him and my boys lived with me but they grew up very angry and its not good.
2007-04-13 21:10:58 · answer #2 · answered by jeannie f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer I can give to you is first of all, we humans are fallible and imperfect. We have tendency to cheat others. So breaking relationship is common and we be prepared for whenever you enter any kind of relationship.
Second, may be you could think of seating down your friend and analyze issues and try to sort it out. If it fails within two of you, may be you can think of bringing in a third party, perhaps any go-between without bias.
Situations are always different but try that if it still does not work then may be, allow him to decide what he wants. Because the power lies within the will of each individual.
2007-04-13 21:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Yach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you two need to see a family counselor and try and work things out. It seems as if communication is lacking from your relationship...and it is crucial to a successful relationship. Hopefully he will go with you. Let him help pick the counselor if that gets him to go. It's great that you want to try and make it work...but sometimes staying together just for the kids only causes more problems. You need to think about yourself and your mental, emotional, and psychological well-being. If you aren't happy, your children could suffer from it. Good luck with everything.
2007-04-13 21:10:12 · answer #4 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say, and I quote, "I love him, but I can't do this"......so, WHY are you attempting to? You ALREADY know you can't do this...do yourself, and the kids a favor, and get out of this dysfunctional mess! Good Luck!!
2007-04-13 21:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get out
2007-04-13 21:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋