Am I paranoid about "love" message on my husband's phone and cover up story?

Question

Last Dec my hubby went out of town (happened to fall on his birthday) for a business. The morn after he was showering and his phone was going off. I thought it was his snooze so I went to turn it off because the baby was still sleeping. Instead I saw it was a text. It wasn't the alert either, it was the actuall msg. It only took a glance to see the words "I love you" across the screen. The rest said "I miss you and you were here to hold me" I checked his sent messages and sure enough the night b4 he sent a similar message to the phone number. (Rules out misdial)

I confronted him about it and 1st he said it was for the guy he works with.. I didnt really buy it.. but let it go...kinda

Over a month l8r I saw the phone # had been dialed again from his cell. He got really upset at me at 1st then he got sad and said he'd been covering up his best friend's affair with this girl who was getting too close to home.

Oh yea.. the # was the same area code for the wrk trip.

2nd time I didn't find it by checkin his phone.. it was on the phone bill. Several 1 min calls to the same #. He says because his friend was/had ended the affair, he was makin sure she wasn't tryin to wreck his friend's family. Or something like that.

EVERYTIME it comes up for any reason I ended up feeling guilty and bad for questioning him, but still don't know if he was helping his friend or cheating on me. And I'm SUPER close to his friend. So if his friend really did ask him to help end the affair, why won't he ask him to help clear things up for our marriage?

Answer 1

Lady, even with the best spin, your husband is betraying a woman. He's either cheating, or helping a cheater, which is nearly as bad. You say your husband claimed that it's for his cheating friend. OK. Then you, as a married woman, should immediately contact the wife being cheated on, and tell her. Wouldn't you want to be told IF your husband was cheatin?(which he almost certainly is doing) Doesn't this other woman deserve the same? Tell your husband TODAY, that you are going to contact the friend's wife, and tell her her husband is cheating. His reaction will tell you who is cheating- but you already know, you just want confirmation. I hope that when you are CERTAIN, that it's your husband cheating, you'll have the guts to throw him out. There should be ZERO forgiveness for affairs. ZERO!!!!

Answer 2

Is he taking calls for his friend at work and then letting his friend use his cell phone? Ask his friend and see what he says. Assuming he's telling the truth (it seems fishy) is it okay with you if he covers up for a friend's affair? Isn't he being dishonest and hurting his friend's wife? If he'll be dishonest for his friend, he is a dishonest person.

It's far more likely that something is going on between him and this other woman. Why not call the number yourself and have a talk with her. If he's lying to you, he may well be lying to her as well, and it's time to find out. Don't tell him you're going to do it, just do it.

It's time for you two to get in to see a marriage counselor. If he wants to stay married, he will go with you.

Stop being so weak and pretending that your marriage isn't at risk and start becoming a fighter. Talk to the friend, call the girl, and get some more information. Then sit down and talk to your husband. Don't let him make you feel guilty because you care about your marriage.

Answer 3

It seems fishy to me. How would an "I Love You" text mean he was covering up his friend's affair? You aren't being paranoid... the fact that the business trip happened to fall on his birthday and that he sent messages to that number that is in the same area code as his work trip seems too much to be a coincidence.

I would have a serious talk with him... I don't want to put ideas in your head but even though I'm probably a lot younger than you and haven't had much experience, something seems off. Just trust your instinct. Best of luck in working this out, please keep your head held high.

Answer 4

I think your hubby is lying. Why would some girl have your husband's # and send along a text message that was meant for the friend? That is a load of BS.
And if your husband seems to be going out of town a lot, and this phone number keeps popping up, it isn't for his friend.

Time to take off the blinders, sit the hubby down and have a discussion about the future of your relationship.

Answer 5

you are kidding, right? You fell for this line(s)...What I think is that you really want to believe anything you are told...you are a master of self deception, and here is your prize! Your husband looses respect for you because you are so dumb. The other woman hopes that he looses respect for you so he will come to her (some catch! Next month, she will be writing the same story), and why would you want anyone as a husband who is so stupid as to think you would believe this line of crap????? Why would you want a husband that is so stupid he has NO idea of what discretion is???? Time to pack him up, send him off on his "business trips," and call a lawyer while he is out of town. Have the locks changed, and if he tries to break in, put out a restraining order on him. Get the woman's address from a reverse phone directory if possible, and have him served with the divorce papers while at her house. She is going to be one shocked woman to find out how upset he is! Ah, yes...do not even think this is any kind of story other than a lie. Don't continue to be a fool, and do not ever feel guilty for snooping. He has given you every right to protect yourself. Now start doing it.

Answer 6

If you feel he is cheating on you, but because of the love you feel for him, you go blind. I am sorry, he is not covering for his friend. He is cheating, I hear this story over and over again and again and believe me when I tell you, he is cheating on you and wants to make a full out of you.

Open your eyes and see reality. Tell him that you are not stupid and that you know what he is doing and you just wanted to give him a chance to wake up and smell the coffee.

Tell him if he wants to end the marriage, to tell you so, but not to cheat on you. If the other person has some kind of disease, he will pass it on to you and it is not fair. Have him risk his own life not yours.

It is typical for a man to lie about his lies and affairs. If you want to take him to counseling but there is no guarantee he will change.
Don't be afraid to speak up and if I was you, I will get that number and call to confirm his story (I know he is lying) just confront her and than him. Let me tell you, you will see a your husband kissing that girl and he has the power to convince you that he was giving her CPR and guess what, most likely you will believe him.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

i believe he is lying to u, and u want to believe him, he is having an affair, and making up a story about his friend, so why not just ask the friend, or call the strange number and see for yourself. your the wife, and u have a right to know the truth here. think he is feeding u a line, and using his friend for the alibi, but everyone has an alibi when they don't want to be found out, or confronted. but if i were u i would want to know the truth either way, but if u feel there is something wrong, than there usually is, listen to what your intuition is telling u, as it never lies.

Answer 8

Ummm, I am SURE that you have a cheating husband on your hands........That is the most ridiculious story I have heard in my life.You need to tell him that you know or leave! I think that once a man or women has cheated that the relashonship is pretty much over at that point.If your womens intuition tells you that something is wrong, then more than likely you are correct!I would confront him.You can also follow him if you have the time.....I wish you the best of luck!!!! :)

Answer 9

Maybe you should ask this friend if what your husband is saying is true. I seriously doubt it is, most likely your husband is having an affair. One of the oldest excuses in the book is that it was a friend who did it or that he is just helping out a friend. You could also call the number and talk to the lady, ask her who it is she is sending the messages to and make sure she knows he is married.

Answer 10

Either way, what he's doing is not right, and you have every right to get the truth. Tell him to dial the number, and when the girl answers, have him simply tell the girl "my wife wants to talk to you - go ahead, it's OK to tell her the truth" and hand the phone to you. IF he IS the go-between in his friends affair, he should not have a problem doing this for you - in fact, it would clear his name. IF he gets upset at all, he's not being honest with you. At that point, ask him what he's going to do now that you no longer trust him. He needs to come clean - don't let him slide on this.