Here is the thing - it's not a good place now, our marriage. Without going into much detail - we lived in different rooms for 2 years. My husband did not even try to be physical and explained it because it was my fault as I moved out of our room. Okay, after we had therapy I moved back to our room. Nothing changed. Some people say "why don't you take control and put your leg on him". Well, easy to say, but I have no desire because I am used to feel like a furniture. I mean, he never showed any desire before. The worst is that I am the one, who tries to talk. Every time I talk to him, he sends me on a guild trip. I wrote him the letter, suggesting to go back to the counsellor. He does not bother to reply. Is he waiting for me to go up the wall so I leave? Is it just that he does not want to take any responsibility and just wants to be the victim, when I leave?
2007-04-13 12:57:18 · 7 answers · asked by Alyssa Macey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The counsellor said that when things go wrong between the two, -sex is the first thing to go. This explanation has now become another excuse for him to do nothing. The best you get is an occasional hug and kiss on the cheek.
2007-04-13 13:08:32 · update #1
Sorry to say it sounds like he has checked out of the marriage. If both parties are not willing to try and make it work than it wont work. Ask him straight out if he thinks that your marriage is over. He probably wants out but doesn't want to be the one to say it first. Personally, I couldn't live like this for one day. If you break up it will be hard but how your living now is worse. Be strong and take control of you life. You can do it on your own and in the end you will be much happier. Good luck.
2007-04-13 13:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree some with the sex is the first to go, sometimes it is communication. My ex still had needs he wanted met for a short time, but soon he claimed he was sick or to tired and then after the heart attack he just was to scared, even though the doctor said it was alright. I didn't feel like a piece of furniture I felt like a less than what an animal would be treated. He was always saying I love you but his actions show much different. Yes, some people like to play the victim that way they want to be able to say I did everything possible but she wouldn't even give it an effort.
2007-04-13 20:14:23 · answer #2 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably is still mad at you,yes he is mad at you for when you first moved out of the room. You first made him feel unworthy..and now he is doing it to you...A womans mistake in marriage is to not satisfy her husband...and you did that..making him feel weird. Start out by greeting him when he comes home..a hug..asking him how the day is..cook something for him..make him feel special..little things here and there for a while..then try kissing him and say 'im horny' guys love that..get the romance back on! He probably feels more rejected than you do right now!
2007-04-13 20:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by yahooaddict 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Feeling helpless is not healthy. Let him feel like the victim when you leave -- at least you will be gone.
There are far worse things in life than being alone -- being alone when someone is married to you is right up there.
2007-04-13 20:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by kelannde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys don't have much of a sexual drive. It's true. You may be married to one of those men.
It sounds like he doesn't want a relationship right now. I think he is waiting for you to leave, so get a divorce lawyer, and start proceedings.
2007-04-13 20:15:58 · answer #5 · answered by Big Super 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get everything in order money property lists etc, go see lawyer. Then talk to your husband telling how useless you feel in your marriage and what you have done. Then the ball is in his park and he can decide what he wants
Wish I had done this
2007-04-13 20:09:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go, find something better, life is too short to be unhappy
2007-04-13 20:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by crazychick1975 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋