wifes allowance - am i right or wrong???

Question

earn £2400 a month after tax and i spend £1500-1600 a mth on mortge & bills.(inc food shopping) i make sure the baby has about 100-150 a month for bits and pieces and i need 200-250 a month for travelling and work expenses.my wife gets £400 for herself . that means only max. £200 every month saved & it is starting to worry me.. I have asked my wife to cut her spending down to 200-250 so we could save more. i have already suggested making lunches for myself from monday to save 100-150 a month i spend on lunches. but she is not prepared to budge and says i am being selfish? am i? i dont think so. im trying so hard to make her and my bay happy but now i am feeling drained emotionally. she says she needs some comforts as a woman every month i.e waxing hair done etc.. and that i coundlt understand. i say why not wax from home? but she gets angry wen i suggest that. i have now started to do overtime at office to make more money and dnt get home till after 9pm and am so tired and drained.

Answer 1

The two of you need to sit down and really talk. You need to tell her how worried and stressed you are and ask for her cooperation. Ask her to help you figure out a budget that will work and allow for some savings. Enlist her help and work on it as partners. You both need to share in the responsibilities and the benefits. You both need to feel like you have some choices and some freedom. You both need to feel that saving for the future is a benefit you both want.

If she will not cooperate with you, you may need to sit with an objective third person to help you sort it out. That might be a marriage counselor, a financial adviser, or even an older friend (or couple) that you both admire and trust. Who that person will be should be something that the two of you agree on together.

It's very important that you start working together as a team--as partners who are responsible for the raising of your baby and for all of your futures. The money you bring home is money that belongs to the whole family and each of you should be willing to answer for how it is spent.

You should teach this principle to your boy as well as he grows older. He will need to realize that when he spends money on things he wants or needs, that money comes from the family money that belongs to the whole family.

Answer 2

She sounds spoiled. It's a little weird that she gets more than you in the budget. (although I like that there is a budget) Every woman does not need to get waxed professionally. I'm not sure what getting her hair done or the etc entails, but not everything she's insisting on is of utmost importance. It's important to save for the future- you never know what could happen. What will you retire on? vacation on? send your kid to schoool on? From her current maintance demands- she might want plastic surgury someday, where will that money come from? As long as you make cuts too, I don't get why she's upset. Maybe you should start small and pick out one of the most frivolous things she spends money on every month and suggest that she give it up. You might have to suggest that it's done on a trial basis. Ask her to give up one thing on her list for a month or two. Rotate through them if she insists on it. Maybe, if you can't talk her into waxing at home, you can talk her into only going every other month, or going longer between getting her hair done, etc. Or, she could get a job and make her own money. Good Luck. I hope you get through to her. Is getting waxed really more important than your future?

Answer 3

Seems like your making it fine to me. Your just be paranoid don't know why. But your wife is right they do need to get their hair done so we can mess it up at night and other womanly things. ANd your so into making money your hurting yourself and not thinking about how much you can save just the way you are. Because if you can save 2oo pounds a month and your doing ok. Hey enjoy your life more instead of working overtime. Because once you save 200 pounds a month hey in a year it's 2400 pounds and then some if you invest wisely. SO chill out and enjoy your life while your still young.

Answer 4

You are being reasonable.. HAS she reviewed the budget.. Maybe if she does she will know that you are doing your best and you want to start saving money for the future.. Maybe you can both go grocery shooing together and plan on what will be packed for lunch,, maybe she can get herself beautified at home ....or buy a wax kit of her own..... Maybe she needs to get a part time job and spend her own money on the beauty expenses. Whatever the answer is try to work it out before a divorce happens ,.....she needs to know that you are overwhelmed and very upset with her compromises

Answer 5

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She doesn't NEED those comforts, she just WANTS those comforts. No one that is a SAHM(which I assume she is, if she isn't, sorry for the assumption) NEEDS to primp. The things she is having you pay someone else to do for her are things she can do at home. Waxing too hard to do by herself? She should shave, or use Nair or Veet. And what is so special about her hairstyle that she has to get it done EVERY MONTH?!! Forgive me for being a "tomboy", but I've just never been able to understand the amount of primping a woman pays someone else to do for her. If she just HAS TO HAVE all that primping and comfort, maybe she should get a job to help pay for it.

Oh, yea, if you couldn't tell:P, I DON'T think you are being selfish.

Answer 6

OMG....that must be nice for her to spend $$$ like that. SHE'S being very selfish....If she cant see how she's blowing money every month then YOU have to put your foot down.. She should be thankful for the extras in life. I think since she feels she needs to spend all this money on herself only, she should get a partime job for own personal luxurys she wants.
And if she wont then only give her so much and thats it..if she needs more for BS she wants then tell her Oh well wait till next month..Oh ya one thing dont call it allowence ..sounds like kiddy money..call her "wife's spending money just for her" Good luck..Hey hopefully you'll let her read all these responses maybe she'll open her eyes!!!!!!!!!..

Answer 7

tell her to get a part-time job for some of her spending money. Give her $150 a month for herself. that is plenty. there are no rules that state you have to give a wife a certain amount of money a month. I spend about $150 a month on myself and my three year old, for shoes, clothes, my nails and beauty/hair products and little house stuffs. New clothes are not necessary all the time, i get maybe a couple shirts or an outfit a month and im happy. what is your wife spending that much on? really let her know you need to save and limit her money or tell her to make some herself. you cant work that much, we are here to enjoy our lives, spend fun times with the kids, don't let your bonding time be cut short it goes by too fast.

Answer 8

Seems to me you both have an allowance. Better call it a budget. Too bad you married a spoiled child Let her have some say in the process and help decide how the two of you can save money together. The whole procedure could be far more successful.

Answer 9

I think I have a funny feeling over this, you are just working your *** off for your over pampered wife. She sits at home and you go out and bring home for her to squander.

You are the head of your home and must provide leadership to your spouse by letting her know the implications of her squandermania on herself, the baby and the marriage. If she refuses, go ahead and cut down on her allowance. She will only grumble but will keep calm eventually. Do it for her future and that of your baby remember; S = I. I suggest 250 for you, 200 for her and 450 into savings ok. She will be grateful to you later in life for this.

Answer 10

geez i wish you were my hubby, I dont see that kind of money... I have 4 children all teens, I work a full time job, dont have time to have nails done or hair, Im out of work at 230 and its off to soccer, football, cheerleading or what else needs to be done..... house work too. I wear my hair most of the time in a pony tail, or something i do myself, my hubby and i make are lunches at home for work, i wax myself when needed..... I think she needs to start to back off from the funds a little bit or she will never see you, because you will always work overtime, and you will be to tired to spend time with her and the baby.... Well good luck and god bless and dont work to hard!!!!!!!!