I earn £2400 a month after tax and i spend £1500-1600 a mth on mortge & bills.(inc food shopping) i make sure the baby has about 100-150 a month for bits and pieces and i need 200-250 a month for travelling and work expenses.my wife gets £400 for herself . that means only max. £200 every month saved & it is starting to worry me.. I have asked my wife to cut her spending down to 200-250 so we could save more. i have already suggested making lunches for myself from monday to save 100-150 a month i spend on lunches. but she is not prepared to budge and says i am being selfish? am i? i dont think so. im trying so hard to make her and my bay happy but now i am feeling drained emotionally. she says she needs some comforts as a woman every month i.e waxing hair done etc.. and that i coundlt understand. i say why not wax from home? but she gets angry wen i suggest that. i have now started to do overtime at office to make more money and dnt get home till after 9pm and am so tired and drained.
2007-04-13 12:21:04 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Wow. It sounds like you've been very generous with your wife. 400 just for her own pampering and extras is pretty nice. But if you cannot afford it then it must be reduced or cut out completely. She sounds a little selfish and spoiled to me. She is a mother now and a stay-at-home mother at that... which means that the financial strain falls squarely upon your shoulders and you're having to work more and more to keep afloat. I understand why you'd be stressed. Tell her that you understand that she likes the extras but that you're going to HAVE to cut back. It's not optional. Tell her that you are no longer going to eat out for lunch, you're going to allot 100 a month for bits and pieces for baby, and she will get 200 a month. That is PLENTY. It's more than most stay at home Moms get for extras. Most are clipping coupons and don't have the extra money for hair, nails, waxing, etc.!! She should be okay with that. If she's not you need to show her these posts!
2007-04-13 12:40:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some aren't going to agree with me on this at all I am sure. I would think that you are being very fair. You are paying all the bills and making sure that they baby has everything that he/she needs as well. I would think that 200 could get her hair and waxing done. I get my hair done and it cost me $75 and the wax should cost no more than 20 so where does the other 300 go??? I was a stay at home mom for along time after I had my son and I didn't ask for a penny. Instead of wanting money for my self I gave to the baby. I don't think that you are being unfair at all you shouldn't have to work overtime so your wife can have more money to walk around like you are filthy rich or something... She should appreciate the fact that you are giving her an allowance alot of husbands don't.
2007-04-13 20:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by Whitney C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so sounds like there is an issue with who is really being selfish. Getting hair done and waxing is not a necessity, and can be pretty expensive. Although sometimes a women does need to pamper herself (from time to time)....
I take it the little wife stays home and takes care of the baby,cleans house and all that fun stuff, right? That's a job in itself................ but on the other hand you also have to go out into the working world and deal with everyday office life (can be stressful). Do you kind of see the weight balancing effect going on here ???? Maybe you two can come to terms and agree on eliminating some unnecessary expenses. after all you two are married and should be able to meet each other half way. It might help if the word selfish never comes out of any ones mouth because it can cause an argument. just remember that the best thing to do is talk about it as oppose to letting the situation escalate into an irritating subject....
2007-04-13 19:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by GAL PAL 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all there is no way the baby needs 100 to 150 a month unless that includes formula and diapers. I work at a hair salon most of my women clients come in every 8 weeks so your wife could stretch it. My husband makes about 4500 a month and we have to children. 1 toddler and one 10. We splurge every once in a while on a small weekend get a way the whole family can enjoy. Other wise we budget I make meals at home and pack my husband and son a lunch. You shouldn't be the only one cutting back though. She needs to sacrifice a little too. Marriage is 50/50 right? I really think it is time for you to put your foot down. I think your wife is being very selfish(sorry), but I do. Does she want her husband missing out on their child growing up, because he/she is sleeping by the time he comes home? Doesn't she miss you when your gone all day? I hate it if my husband has to work late once in a great while. Financial problems are tough in marriages, I really hope you can find a way to work this out.
2007-04-13 20:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by baby♥Justin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't earn enough to let your wife have that much free money every month to blow on frivolous things. She gets 400 while you're only stocking away 100-150? Sounds unwise to me. It should be the other way around. give her 100-150 to play with and stock away the 400. She should understand. It's better to have a security blanket of money in savings than perfect hair and waxed legs! She needs to put the welfare of the family first now. And I agree that packing your lunches is a great money saving idea.
2007-04-13 19:43:47 · answer #5 · answered by Libra lass 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I scrimp and save money, honey. My husband and I have a budget. We put money into retirement every time he gets paid. He takes his lunch 4 days a week, and I am very frugal.
I still get my hair done at the salon, but nothing else. I gave up the mani/pedi & waxing for the greater good of our family. I like having my husband home in time for dinner, and my kids need time with their Daddy.
Just who is getting the benefit of your overtime? Your baby sure isn't!! When does the baby see you? Sounds like you're worse off. It might not be a popular response but here goes...I think she is being immature and selfish.
2007-04-13 19:40:01 · answer #6 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it's not the luxuries that are the issue, but rather the fact that she feels like she's on a leash. Being on an allowance probably makes her feel controlled and resentful.
Of course she can wax, etc. at home - and if she truly argues that she cannot, then she should go get herself a part time job or something.
2007-04-13 19:36:37 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot afford it and it is causing you stress than she should gladly cut back on her spending. It's nice to have the 'extras" like waxing and getting your hair done, etc. but if you cannot afford it than you cannot afford it! Tell her to shave her legs and put her on a budget. I don't go get waxed and get my hair dyed etc. because I have a baby now and the needs of the baby and family security are paramount. She needs to cut back. AND I would definitely suggest you pack your own lunches if you intend to make her budget. Tell her you can only afford to give her 300 a month after talking to a financial planner at work. Tell her she has that amount to decide what she really wants to have done each month. Because you cannot afford anything more. Period.
2007-04-13 19:34:27 · answer #8 · answered by Haulie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why are you giving her an allowance to being with? My husband makes the money, but its all mine. I have complete control over it. I pay the bills, buy the groceries, make sure that he has food for lunch and keep the kids fed and clothed. He has a bank card and can get as much money as he wants at anytime just as long as he lets me know, so i can let him know exactly how much is in the bank and how much we have going out in bills. I think a man that treats his wife like a child by giving her an allowance, doesn't need the priveledge of having a wife.
2007-04-13 20:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by supermom12042702 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, for those who say she should get a job...she has one! She's raising a baby and that's a hard, demanding, full-time job.
As far as money, be honest. Are you sure that 400 is just for herself? She's not paying for gas, quick trips to the grocery store for forgotten items, diapers or anything else with that money? If she's spending 400 just on waxing, hair, and nails I would be mad! How much money do you spend on "extras" for yourself? If your spending around the same, you shouldn't complain.
As far as lunch, why argue about it? Make your own lunch! You'll save money, she'll be happy. It's probably healthier...everyone wins.
2007-04-13 19:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Freaked out 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋