My husband and I are separated and have an 18-month old son. We share 50/50 custody of him, and typically have him every other day. I am bipolar, but on medication and am in counseling. When my husband asks if my son can go somewhere on my day, I let him go. If I have a brief appointment on my day, I go to my ex to watch our son so he is with someone he knows. However, if I want to see my son for an hour or so while his dad is gone to work, my ex will not allow me to take him anywhere, but rather have supervised visits at the place he stays (my mother-in-laws house). My husband also says our son cannot spend the night with me when my live-in boyfriend is there on my nights (every time) and calls six or eight times a day to check on our son when he is with me. Recently he busted out one of my car windows and will fess up to anyone who asks. I am at a loss in this situation. I do not know what to do. Should I go get my son and see him? Should I file for sole custody? Help!
2007-04-13 12:04:13 · 5 answers · asked by maylandchastity 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Okay, I can try to help you, as I'm sort of in the same predicament. When it's your turn to have your child, you don't allow your husband to take him, and this every other day thing is a real no, no. Did a judge allow this decision, or did you and your husband come up with this idea? I have custody of my son, and his father gets him every other weekend, he's supposed to pick him up at 6:00 pm on Friday, and have him back home at 6:00 pm on Sunday. Your son needs to feel like he has a stable home, he can't feel secure being passed back and forth between the two of you every day. At this age, he's too little to tell you how he feels and doesn't really understand why he's being transported from Mommy to Daddy and back again. You don't have to sue for custody, you only have to go to court to set up child support payments, and they will lay down the visitation schedule for the non-custodial parent. If your husband doesn't like you having your son when your boyfriend is around, you may want to try keeping that fact from him, as it's not his business anyway. As long as your boyfriend isn't a danger to your son, you are allowed to have your boyfriend and your son, how are you to go about getting on with your life if your husband is making the rules, and your following them? No, I have that problem myself, my husband tells my 9 year old son that he has to make sure Mommy doesn't try to replace him with another man, he lies to him and makes up bad stories about step fathers who beat their step sons, and how does a woman try to fix that? So, my son has chased away the only 2 men I ever tried to date in the 5 years of seperation from my husband. No, you don't want to be alone like me, while your son is young, make the rules and stick to them, just make sure the men in your life understand that your son comes first, and to accept you is to accept your son. So, fill out that child support form, get yourself a court date, and give your son a stable home, allowing your husband to have visitation, don't give up your time, since it's not appreciated, and your treated like a felon by him and his mother, take your son with you to your appointments, they will have to understand that you are a single mother, and you have a child to take care of. Hope this helps.
2007-04-13 12:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by Coulterbasher01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an ex that was physically violent towards me and tried to take our daughter away several times. The scariest part of a custody battle, or going to court is before you actually go. Once you are there you would be surprised at how much the judge will probably agree with you. First of all you are allowed to have a live in boyfriend and your ex cannot tell you other wise and it is not a reason to keep your child from you. Second of all since he is now your ex it is absolutely none of his business what you do when you have your son and who you are doing it with. You do not have to answer to him and the judge will agree with you on that, I have been there. And of course most importantly his calling you all the time is harassment and you need to document all that so that you have proof when you do go to court. Now your first step is To fill out a proposed parenting plan and you can put on there exactly when you want your child and exactly when you want your ex to have him and from there it is just a matter of filing that and making a court date and getting the judge to agree with you on it.
2007-04-13 19:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is not complying with the court order. Simple as that.
No, it isn't that simple. He MIGHT try to convince the judge that your bipolar is a factor that allows him to make decisions contrary to the present custody order. You might want to get a statement from your doctor to support that you are stable, and no risk to your child. How much your relationship will influence the issue is another question. It can be ruled confusing to the child, or it can be ruled as your private business. Depends on the judge. His anger and violence is in your favor.
I'd think your options are to file to enforce the order there is, come up with another plan (back and forth like that, does sound real hard on the child), or file for sole custody. He MIGHT be able to try alleging that you should be supervised... that does not mean he will win at it.
2007-04-14 08:13:49 · answer #3 · answered by wendy c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the heck haven't you finalized this in court?? No way will a judge agree to an every other day joint custody situation. This is too much turmoil for the baby! Get to court and spell out who sees him, where and when.
2007-04-13 19:12:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer. your son needs a more stable situation. it sounds like your ex makes all the rules. you need someone to help you, get a lawyer ASAP and good luck
2007-04-13 19:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by dawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋