My soon to be X-husband is trying to make amends with me!?

Question

why would he think i can forgive him after leaving me at 7 months pregnant for a 17yr old girl from high school. He disapeared for a month and has now come back to be there for his daughter emotionally. he still hasn't spent 1¢ on anything for her! He has been a total kiss a*s lately and is being WAY to nice. Our divorce is not final yet, do you think he have something up his sleeve?

Answer 1

he realizes that he messed up and he knows that it was not going to work out with some lil kid. so he wants what he had. i say you dont let him have you back. he cant be there for you or your daughter what makes you think if you get back with him he will be there completely for the both of you. i say you let him deal with his own problems. of course he is kissing your azz. he wants you back and knows that you are way more woman for him than that teenager.why give him what he wants, let him have what he wanted, that teenager. he wanted her let him go back to her and you take care of that baby. she doesnt deserve her dad, you are mom and dad for her. good luck.

Answer 2

Wow - I'd be careful if I were you. I'm 7 months pregnant now (left my husband and found out a week later that I'm pregnant). My husband has been with several woman and has never shown any interest in my pregnancy, but he's trying to take my 3 year old boy from me. The only times he's been nice to me over the past few months is WHEN HE WANTS SOMETHING. Maybe he figures if he's real nice to you, you'll give him something out of the divorce that he wants...I'd look for alterior motives. He could be trying to manipulate you or extract information he would otherwise not be privy to if you're not on a talking basis.

Or.....maybe he's realizing what a mistake he's making and he's making one last-ditch effort to try to make things work. Would you consider giving it another chance or has there been too much going on to even consider it? Give him conditions if it ever comes up. Make him prove himself not only to you but his daughter.

Or.....maybe he's making peace for the sake of your daughter. Apparently (and I don't know this for a fact because my husband is DEFINITELY not at this stage) men get through their anger and resentment and realize it's for the best to get along for the childen's sake. Eventually, they apparently put their selfishness aside and start to try to make things more peaceful. They just get tired of the fighting.

It's only been a month. Take time to scrutinize his motives and don't believe a word he says until he has given substantial proof that he means what he's saying. See what he's telling his friends, if you can get access there without his knowing.

Either way, good luck to you. I know how hard this is, especially when there's a pregnancy involved. If nothing else, I hope I helped you understand you are not alone in this. I'm there too. Thanks!

Answer 3

Does it matter? He left you for another girl, while you were 7 months pregnant. Why talk to sperm boy at all? Let him see the baby after he settles things with the court, and starts providing money to support her. You shouldn't allow him to set one foot in your home. Being a husband isn't something one dabbles in. It's 24/7. Just as it is for wives. He decides he wants to play with another, but now is back. Tell him to take a hike.

Answer 4

I think when it finally hits them that you're over their sorry behinds, then they realize just what they're losing.

It's pretty common that right before the divorce to finalize, one of the parties tries to make amends. The thing is, it's not real. They're only doing it out of fear of the unknown, not because they've actually made a change.

I'd certainly not let my defenses down if I were you.

Answer 5

It sounds like he was running away from reality and realized he couldn't.
He may now own up to his responsibility towards the demise of your relationship and feels bad for what he has done.

I would proceed with the divorce. Get your child support payments squared away.

Any personal issues you have with him, wait until after the divorce. Then have him answer for his irresponsible behavior.

Answer 6

It is hard to give him the benefit of the doubt, but only you can decide on whether to extend offer or not. I hope that he is being truthful and committed. But my fear is that he won't be there the way you want him to be.

My suggestion is to allow the divorce to run its course. If he is truly going to be there for you, and you can see past him cheating and dumping you, then you could always renew the relationship.

Answer 7

IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WILL FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE DIVORCE, I DIDN'T THE FIRST TIME EITHER AND I COULD OF KICKED MY OWN *** FOR THINKING HE WAS GONNA CHANGE I SURE FOLLOWED THROUGH THE NEXT TIME I FILED ON HIM BUT I WASTED TWO MORE YEARS AND ALOT OF HEARTACHE!!!! YOU WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER W/O HIM, BELIEVE IT OR NOT ALL MEN ARE NOT GARBAGE BUT THE ONE YOU MARRIED SURE IS.....IS HE TRY IN TO GET OUT OF SUPPORT THAT WILL BE ORDERED WELL EVEN IF NOT IF THERE IS A SLIGHT CHANCE HE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM HIS SCREW UP DOWN THE ROAD YOU COULD ALWAYS REMARRY IF THAT IS PROVEN.... GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

He's trying to be a kiss a** in the hopes that you would change your mind about the divorce and take him back. Don't fall for it. He's already proven to you that he can't be trusted. Taking him back would only enable him to do this to you again.

Answer 9

first he should get serious counseling-second go to court and have them fill out papers for your support, regardless of what else happens, and a prayer that helped me in worse situation that this-but this is very difficult too- Jesus come into my heart and help me, I am sorry for my sins-even one lie, help me and be my friend, amen." He said he would in Revelation 3:19&20

If he says he wont because of what he has done-and wont see a Christian counselor-then do whatever you have to do to make it be done.

Answer 10

Sounds like a boy. Real women deserve men.